Women vs.. Females

April 9, 2011 by bronz3b3aut3rfly  
Published in Women

I figured i’d put this on HERE, where the crowd is more mature & will actually get what i’m saying. title: W0MEN vs. females..
(by ME Candice CiCi Washington on Monday, September 21, 2009 at 7:42pm.
It never received feeback when I posted it back two years ago, but you’ll see it’s obviously a timeless package of thoughts … so why not put it on here where the reception of it will be greater? it’s worth a shot.)

Current mood: focused
i gotta get somethin’ off my chest.

i thought that my scissors were finished for the year after I had to cut off somebody who had been my friend for six years straight … all because of some nigga.

now I see that the scissors are still in my hand I just was ignoring the fact that i’d probly have to use them again real soon.

and guess what, it’s over some nigga AGAiN.

– it’s little girl & female sh**. UGH. i’m not neither one of those. i’ma explain …

i am a W0MAN. i’m not wrapped up in what nobody else is doing or going thru unless it directly affects me. i’m MATURE, C0NFiDENT, and SECURE in myself. i don’t need to go around manipulating, sneaking, lying, and backstabbing to get what i want, which i probably wouldn’t even deserve, or to make somebody feel bad and ruin their world.

i am a W0MAN. when i’m somebody’s friend, i’m their friend TH0R0UGHLY. that’s why i’m “ALWAYS TH0R0UGH.” when i’m your friend, i’m your friend regardless of who else is around. i’m your friend despite who else i know. don’t call me your friend when you hardly acknowledge me. you’ll acknowledge the people you met THR0UGH me before you acknowledge me. i notice EVERYTHiNG. recognize.
when i say i’ma do something for you as a friend, i D0 iT. if i can’t do it, i’mma tell you. if i don’t like something about you, i’ma tell you T0 Y0UR FACE — as a friend [or even if i'm not]. but it’s never outta jealousy. i’m a W0MAN. i’m never jealous of the next … “woman” [or girl or female, depending]. i don’t know what she did to get what she has, and it can’t provide me the same comfort or happiness or whatever that it does for her. it may not even be making her happy. so why would i want it? take for instance HER MAN. why the f*** would i want some other woman’s seconds? i understand that every man is gonna be some other woman’s leftovers, but if you’re FRiENDS with the chick, that’s just gross. period. i don’t need your ex boyfriend. just because “ohhhh i know him i know all about him we were cool we were this we were that i don’t need to go man-hunting cuz look here’s an available one he dated my friend so he knows me too yayyy !” HELL nah ! that’s lazy, unoriginal, and trashy. to want someone you call your friend’s ex or their current boyfriend, you’re desperate, insecure, and UGLY for wanting somebody else’s. you don’t feel good enough that you can get your own. that’s called stealing, and stealing is a sin. just like jealousy. as a person, i do sin, but those two things are out the question. i’m too confident to want what somebody else has when i can get my own, to make ME happy. i’m not tryna get somebody else’s man, nor am i tryna ruin her relationship just cuz i’m not happy. even if i didn’t have a man & i was single, i would NEVER try and ruin somebody else’s thing they got going on. i’m a woman of God, and God is the provider of all things. He’ll give me the man for me. He’d never give me somebody else’s. if i did, He’d surely take that away, because that’s not right. as for my friend’s relationship i’ma be happy for her that she’s happy, becuase she’s my friend. lol, shoot that’s just one less emotional chick i gotta deal with as long as she’s happy with him. i’ma support her decision to be with or without him. if she has problems with him, recognize that every couple has problems. unless he’s physically or emotionally destructive to her, i’d never tell her it’s not gonna work and think that’s “good advice”. she has to live and learn for herself, and if he isn’t right for her, sh’ll experience what she needs to in order to know how to deal with the next man. if she chooses to stay with him, that’s her choice, as long as he doesn’t abuse her. you only know WHAT PE0PLE TELL Y0U. you don’t know the whole relationship, and there’s things she may not tell you. to say that the relationship isn’t going to last and they’re not right for each other isn’t being a good friend at all. since when are you dr. phil? how do you know what two individuals are right for each other, especially if Y0U AiNT G0TTA MAN Y0URSELF. that’s the funny part. it sounds more like you’re unhappy with yourself and you have an alterior motive to why you’re tryna break the sh** up.

i am a W0MAN. i’m nice, i’m respectful, but don’t get it twisted, if i don’t like you, i’m not gonna pretend to be your friend and then lie and backstab you. if i don’t like you & if there’s cause & reason enough, i’ma tell you why, and why being friends won’t work. if i was once your friend, but i see that i can’t trust you, i’m not gon sugarcoat the sh**. i’ma still be cordial, but i’ma stop talking to you the same, and if i don’t tell you why, then i expect you to know from all the times before why i ain’t giving you the time of day no more. some things you should just KN0W. if i have to tell you what you did, you dumb and you shouldn’t be friends with me anyway. i don’t like having to explain myself when you do me wrong. if you expect me to explain myself, that means you’re ready to make up excuses and defend yourself instead of just genuinely being sorry. you should know what you did, and if you’re a friend, just apologize. be sincere. and don’t lie about why you did what you did. i’m a thinker. i think about all the sh** somebody does to me. trust me, by the time you’re ready to say “sorry,” i’ve already figured out 1,000 truths and reasons why you did me that way, and analyzed the whole situation so tough that i’d know you lying even before a polygraph test says so. if you never intended on being my friend, then you did the sh** on purpose, and i don’t want an apology. that’s being FAKE. but know this: if i wanted fake friends, i woulda kept my barbies. but i’m grown now, and i like REAL people, like me.

i’m a W0MAN. i’m secure in my own standing. i’m not afraid of a girl standing beside me is gonna get more attention than me if don’t ruin her. i’m secure that i’m beautiful in my own way, and the next is beautiful in hers. as long as you have a good personality, positive attitude, self-confidence, and a no-hater outlook, a man will like you and find you attractive. haters are the ones that have the issues. men pick up on cattiness.

i think haters should be changed to HATE-HERS. because most of the time the people who hate are women. and they’re hating on 0THER women. i hardly ever see men tryna foul each other out. i’ve heard my homeboys say to each other stuff like sh** “nigga you might be tall and light skin but i got the smile and charisma !” lol for real i’m not playin. they are cool with what they got and don’t got, and they know they all gonna get their fair share of girls. they give each other props when one of them gets a girl. girls don’t think like that in terms of attracting men. maybe it’s cuz men make the first move? not true. you gotta ATTRACT a man for him to wanna approach you. you’re low-key making the first move by just in the way you act and appear. and if you look stank and conniving, like you wanna lay out the woman beside you so you can get more attention, it’s written all over your face. and men don’t like dramatic bitches. and you ain’t gone get N0 ATTENTi0N.

this is why i like kickin’ it with dudes. before i met my boyfriend, ALL of my friends except janay were guys. my homeboys are all straight up. they let me know how they feel, what they want, and what they like or don’t. they don’t smile in my face and blow me up when i’m not looking. i appreciate a man who keeps it real. i got homeboys who were like “Candice, i could never be your man cuz you a virgin and i need sex, and i wouldn’t want that kind of pressure on either one of us”. that’s REAL. as women, i think we need to stop turning our noses up to men who tell you to your face what it is they really want. that just makes it easier to cut them loose. you need to appreciate a man that doesn’t hide the fact that all he wants to do is bone. atleast you know what he wanted from jump. some of you would call him an asshole though right? nah. he’s GENUiNE. i’m not saying BE WiTH HiM. have some dignity. if you don’t want the same thing, then say no. but say no, THANK Y0U lol. becuase you’re thanking him for keepin’ it real. girl please, ALL MEN think about sex. most of them want sex. it’s a man’s nature. i would question a man who D0ESN’T say it to you because if he’s Y0UR man, then he could be getting it from someone else if he ain’t requsting it from you. the asshole is the one who leads you on, manipulates you, gets you thinking he likes you for you when his ultimate goal is to take you down.

i love kickin’ it with my homeboys, just cuz it’s real, easygoing, and fun. guys don’t come with the drama. but for the sake of my dude, until we really get to know each other completely and the trust is 100, i’m keeping my distance from my boys. i’m not kickin’ them to the curb. no way ! my friends are my friends and i don’t give them up for nobody unless i need to. i’m just giving them a break. it only makes sense. how would you feel if your man kicked it with nothing but a bunch of girls, and a friend saw, even though you trusted him with them girls, how do you explain that? with me, my man would have a hard time tryna justify to one of his friends “yea man, she just likes kickin’ it with dudes. she not a hoe, but those are her homeboys”. i don’t care what people think, but your man has a reputation, and to the people lookin’, it looks like your girl is somethin’ around the way. to them, it’s like “what’s wrong with HER man that she gotta go kick it with 6 others?”

my man keeps it real too. don’t get it twisted. just cuz he thinks i’m pretty don’t mean he won’t tell me about myself. if i have something in my hair or something ain’t right, he’ll address it right then & there. but how many of us women have these type of girlfriends: friends who will be with us the whole night and say we go out to eat and we have some broccolli. then we go out and party, smile alot, and when we get home to brush our teeth, we see that big green leaf in between our teeth ! we thinkin’, “that bitch let me walk around with a tree in my mouth and did’t say nothin’”. i mean maybe we shoulda known sometimes food gets stuck our teeth and shoulda checked before we went out, but it’s also a friend’s job to lookout for her friend. that’s when little girls, females, and chicks, and bitches become part of the equation.

see here’s the thing about us: it’s women vs. females these days. and i D0N’T LiKE FEMALES. he just told me “all girls say that”. but most girls say that to look tough or whatever. i don’t care about looking any kinda way. i really don’t like girls. it’s obvious in the fact that only my bestfriend is a girl, and all the other people i really talk to are guys. i ASS0CiATE with other girls, but being close with any of them anymore as far as i see it is dead. lemme put somthing in your mind:

when you think of dogs and cats in terms of people, who gets called what? females are “catty”. this is true, because cats will turn on you in a minute. cats are mean and sneaky, they only want for themselves. men get called dogs, and it’s in a derogatory way. for some reason, we call men dogs meaning they’re low down and dirty. we really should rethink the use of that term HARD. i don’t understand how a dog became a bad thing, since a dog is seen as man’s best friend. when you give a stray lonely dog a bone, he’s there with you for life. dogs are L0YAL. have you ever seen two stray cats walking next to each other? i don’t think so. when you see stray dogs, most of the time you see them kickin’ it together like wolves. i see puppies and dogs fight, and then they’re all buddies again lickin’ each other. we all know that dudes fight, and then the next day they call each other up like “ay man whatchu doin today lets kick it”. he just told me “i got into it with the homie last night”. see? “the homie”. if we fought with one of our friends, we’d be callin’ her “that bitch” when we refer to her. rethink who you call a dog. did you ever stop to think that a female dog is a BiTCH? lemme tell you something about the term “female” since we’re talking about animals. when God made a W0MAN, he made her from the hip of a man: strong, caring, nurturing, everything God saw in himself in his image. to be made in God’s image is an H0N0R. when we talk about a woman, we’re talking about a human being. God didn’t create woman animals, He created female animals. we don’t ever look at a girl dog and say “look at that woman”. no, that’s a girl, or that’s a female. a female is anything living that prduces eggs instead of sperm. so that means, females in general are ANiMALS. animals can be some of the filthiest, nastiest, grossest, slyest creatures around. speaking of animals, what about the term “chick” ? a chick is a BABY chicken. not yet grown, not yet developed, not yet matured. some of them never make it to become chickens. they get become food [sad, i know. they're so cute !] when you talk about a girl, there’s two ways of looking at the word. either in the same way as a female, cuz you can have a girl dog, a girl cat, a girl monkey, whatever. also, remember that like a “chick”, a girl is an immature stage of development. you don’t ever say, look at that “little woman”, you’ll say “little girl,” cuz “little” and “woman” don’t go together. a girl has not yet grown up mentally or emotionally, she’s still immature in her ways and her thinking. some girls NEVER GR0W UP.

that’s the problem. females, girls, chicks, whatever you wanna call them, they’re catty. they’re immature. they’re food for the world, just sponging in their surroundings, tryna fit in wherever they’re accepted. EVERYB0DY tells me i have cat eyes, but if i looked at it from a deeper level everytime somebody tells me that, i wouldn’t take it so easily as a compliment. cuz cats got sh** up their fur sleeves. i lay my m.o. out on the table.
it’s FEMALES that create the drama. it’s women who want the peace. here’s the definition of a female:

FEMALES lie. they tell you they’re your friend, smile in your face, and then when they say they’re gonna do something for you, they realize that if it benefits you, they decide they’re not gonna do it. then when it comes time to address the situation, they wanna aplogize for the very thing they did on purpose. if you didn’t intend on helping me out, don’t lie about it, and don’t apologize. like i said before, i’m a thinker. by the time you get around to tryna say “sorry” about the sh** you did, i’ve already came up with 1,000 possibilities to why you did what you did, so there’s no reason to apologize for the sh** you know you did on purpose. it’s a waste of both of our time. you’re apologizing for who you are, and i’d never do that, unless it hurt somebody and i didn’t mean to hurt them… you did. recognize.

–they tell you they would never do anything scandalous against you, or they say one thing and then do another. for example, i don’t give a DAMN if you talk to my man. if you’re a friendly person, then that’s how you’re gonna be. that’s fine, cuz i’m a social butterfly. but knowing me, i wouldn’t even bring myself to tell my friend “oh i won’t even talk to your man there’s no point”, cuz if he’s cool and if we’re all kickin’ it, we’re all gonna end up talking to each other at some point, unless he’s an asshole and i don’t wanna be bothered with him no way. but it’s when you SAY you don’t feel the NEED to talk to him, conversate with him, all that, and then you turn around and D0 iT, that makes me look at you sideways. you lose trust and credibility of your word. and even worse is whether you say you’re gonna talk to him or not, and you talk to him, and you become FLiRTY with it that pisses me the f*** off. you may be flirty by nature but you better watch your f***in’ actions around me. it ain’t about being insecure that makes me not like it. it’s about being disrespected. i been getting into it with girls since kindergarten over disrespect. i was born knowing that everybody deserves respect. it’s simple. don’t flirt with somebody else’s dude, especially in her muthaf***in’ face. that means you have no class, and you don’t know or see the boundaries of your actions. you think acting as though he isn’t somebody else’s boyfriend isn’t a big deal. it is. recognize.

FEMALES are fake. once again, they smile in your face, making you feel that everything is all good between y’all when really they can’t wait to go talk bad about you. if you got your ex-bestfriend’s ex-man at your birthday, even when you AND all your other friends are talking to him, they lookin at Y0U like the messy one for tryna “do ex-boyfriends”. then they go into the birthday dinner, sing you happy birthday, make plans with you for the future, then they all leave, huddle in one car, call up the ex-bestfriend, and tell her what they THiNK they saw, and she calls you up bitching and sounding like a dumbass all because some 0THER dumbass couldn’t get her facts straight. so you call the snitching bitch up and ask her about it, only for her to tell you how wrong you are for having the ex-boyfriend there and all this and that, sounding just as dumb as she looks. first of all don’t sit up at MY birthday dinner acting all happy go-lucky when you felt that way the whole time. we’re all GR0WN W0MEN, i mean atleast i am. a real woman wouldn’t have stayed around for all that, she woulda been ready to leave as soon as she saw it, and called me out on the carpet like “Candice, i don’t know what’s going on, but from what it looks like, that’s wrong. you just don’t do that to somebody you once called your friend.” WAiT SCRATCH THAT. before you say ANYTHiNG. ask the MUTHAF***iN’ QUESTi0N BEF0RE Y0U ASSUME ANY MUTHAF***iN’ ANSWER. i’m not about to explain myself on a f***in’ myspace, but i know i ain’t nann as scandalous as them girls running their mouths. you know what i figured out? them girls who told her, and her included, must be the type of girls to do what they thought i did with her ex. it takes one to THiNK you know one. to even THiNK i’m that low to feel the need to go after my ex-bestfriend’s ex man who is ALS0 the bestfriend of my 0WN exboyfriend is only something that a person of that nature could accuse me of. only ugly, insecure, thirsty, dirty FEMALES do sh** like that. i’m a GR0WN ASS W0MAN. if i TELL you about the time your other man tried to get at me, the you should know better than to not trust me with your ex. but i guess you won’t anyway, cuz if we’re friends and you feel the dumb reason to ask me if i’d ever get with your ex, then that’s what’s in your mind what you believe i’m gonna do. iNSECURiTY. furthermore, i do what the f*** i want. just cuz me & her ain’t friends no more don’t mean she dictates who i can & cannot be friends with still, cuz she sure wasn’t trippin’ [on the outside] when we were friends before me & her fell out. and if i WAS tryna get with him, i know you don’t think i’m that stupid, knowing we’re all mutual friends of hers, why woul i try & get with her ex in front of all them like that, if i really wanted him? if you gon’ call somebody out, or attempt to, do it right, and think about what you’re gonna say & do first. DUHH. but don’t ever be fake in front of real people, cuz we can see what’s not on our level. fake females are scared to fight real women. they’re KiNDA smart. they know not to start sh** in a real woman’s face. that’s why they left me and my friends’ presence before they said something about me. they knew they was saying all the wrong stuff, were gonna get cussed out or they asses whooped by my fightin’ a** homegirls lol, or both. if you have something to say, say it to the source. recognize.

FEMALES are jealous because they’re insecure. they don’t realize that they’re just as beautiful in their own way and whatever source of happiness they see me with, they’ll get their own happiness in their own time in their own way. FEMALES are the ones who try & ruin you becuase they don’t want you to be happy if they’re not. they’re the ones who tell you sh** like your relationship isn’t going to last. i know i said that friends are supposedspeak up and they tell you stuff to lookout for you, but it’s supposed to be constructive, not destructive of your self esteem. friends tell you thing that you can fix immediately. jealous insecure broads tell you things that they hope knocks down your confidence. like pointing out that i have a bump on my face. knowing full well i see the bump in the morning when i wake up before you even see me at all. don’t you think i know that? i can’t fix that immediately. that’s a hater statement to try and downplay my looks to make yourself seem that much better, what cuz you ain’t got a zit? while i gotta pimple, you still ugly. you can’t fix that. i’m saying tell me things that will help me. if there’s a problem, as a friend you should have a solution. if my tracks are showing, simply pointing out that they’re exposed without fixing it sounds like a hater statement. a friend tells you about it, then goes on to help fix the problem. you don’t let your friends walk around looking any kind of way.

they try & discourage whatever it is that brings you joy. my daddy reminded me this weekend that misery loves company, and i realized that their company will be karma. people who do evil can’t see anything in the darkness, so they don’t see that the only fruits of their labor is punishment and unhappiness from N0T stealing my joy. what these ridiculous females fail to realize is that what they try and destroy is MY happiness, and they forget that through my strength in God and my own confidence is what built me up, and if they try & knock me down, i have the same equpiment as before to build myself back up again. that equipment is G0D. what i built, only i have the power to tear down, and that power is only lost if i let somebody take it from me. only i can undo what i’ve done, and if i’ve done good and positive things, why would i let anybody have control over destroying that? recognize.

over all these little girls i’ve encountered just in the short time of this year so far, i’ve learned that you really can only have friends that are your equals. what i mean is this: when i was in high school, people would tell me certain friends of mine were jealous of me cuz she wasn’t as pretty as people thought i was, and that was why she acted the way she did. i was naiive, “No she’s not jealous, she’s pretty too. All my friends are beautiful in their own way.” people would warn me not to kick it with girls who aren’t as attractive as I supposedly am cuz they’ll do things to hurt you behind your back.
…. now i see that it’s true. you really can’t kick it with girls who aren’t your equal. you can’t bring single girls around your man, cuz they’re unhappy that they’re not boo’d up too. you can’t be friends with less attractive girls if you’re pretty, because they’re gonna act up over the attention you get. you can’t kick it with females who don’t have their sh** together, because their gonna go after yours. even girls who claim that they’re this and they’re that about being confident and they don’t need to act a fool, some of them still have a lot of insecurities. that’s why they constantly feel the need to pump themselves up. you know you know girls like that. she always saying she can get this and do that and she’s confident and all that. if that’s the case. the proof is in the doing, not the saying booboo. i can hardly say what i will and won’t do becuase i’m all about accountability, and if i do something i said i wouldn’t, that makes me look bad.

it’s sad that a woman can’t have a square amount of girlfriends she can trust. it’s sad i look to men for friendship instead of the type of people i should have more in common with physically and emotionally. i used to think i was more friends with guys than girls becuase i was trying to fill a void from not having my dad around growing up, but at this very point i realize it’s not that at all. it’s cuz girls are just too damn conniving and emotional for me. i can be a bitch and emotional enough for myself. i don’t need a grip of emotional people to deal with too. i need friends who balance it out. women who aren’t afraid to speak their mind and tell me how they feel, and we can still be friends about it. until then, i’d rather be alone than surrounded by a whole bunch of fakes. that’s why i said it takes a mature person to deal with me. i can’t be around people who don’t think on my level. logic is all it takes, and when you don’t have that, you need to go. for real women, let your scissors continue to go to work for the people around you that you can’t trust. let the theme song be Shareefa’s “Phony”.

B0TT0M LiNE–little girls need to grow the f*** up and start worrying about their own MESSED UP LiVES instead of tryna handle mine. i don’t need help. i’m a big girl, i can handle my own life. the way i want my life to go is my choice, i don’t need you to try & move it along with your drama. it only makes you look worse and me better. like Taylor Swift and Kanye. you just lessen your reputation and build mine up.

lemme put it how Jill Scott did in “Why Did I Get Married?” after seeing the triflin’ heffa who she once called her friend in the bathroom: “Wow, I wondered what i would do if i ever saw you again. If i would cuss you out or stomp you in the street– WH00P THAT ASS. And amazingly, all i wanna do is PRAY F0R Y0U. But don’t tempt me. Stay away from the wine bottles, okay? Have a good evening.” I couldn’t put it any better if i tried. as women, I know we all got atleast one female that we sure are tempted to fix a face real quick. But the best weapon is prayer, class, and kindness.

quote me on this : the fakest i’ll EVER be and that you’ll EVER know me to be is the hair i wear and the acryllics on my fingernails.
–Candice MUTHA-EFFiN’ C. Washington.

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