Why Do Women Stalk Women?

February 7, 2010 by Zoe Hillson  
Published in Women

Not only do men stalk females, but women stalk them too.

Women have you ever been stalked by another woman?  How about a woman who you knew?  How would it feel to see an acquaintance, co-worker, neighbor everywhere you were showing devotion and affection towards you?  Your visit to the grocery store, hair salon, public library, and receiving an intimate email, fancy gifts, or a friendly phone call?

Cases reported show that the majority of stalking crimes are done by males.

Guess what?  Stalking isn’t limited to only by males, women stalk too, but only for different reasons.

A woman that stalks has a deep desire to establish a close, loving, and caring type of intimacy with her female victim.

Female stalkers pursue their victims that are known to them.  The victim comes from a range of occupations.  For example, it has been reported that the victims are professionals working in the medical field such as Psychiatry and Social Worker, however, teachers, legal practitioners, and neighbors aren’t excluded from being stalked.

In about forty-eight percent of the cases the victim was a former intimate partner.  While only nineteen percent were victims encountered through other work-related areas.  In addition, forty-eight percent were neighbors who were single, married, or divorced.

For female victims, stalking can be a very traumatic experience because of the psychological, emotional, and physical trauma and harm that comes to the victim.

Stalked women can demonstrate some very common emotional symptoms such as depression and anxiety that can persist long before and after the stalking ends.  Also, it is very common for the victims of stalkers to place the blame on themselves, especially if the stalking may have contributed to the stalking from an established intimate and/or best friend relationship with the female stalker.

Police reports indicate that women are seldom prosecuted for stalking offenses.  The evidence shows that stalking by women has yet to be viewed as a serious crime by the court system.

The most reported cases are found to be in California where most of the famous screen stars make their home.  However, one doesn’t have to be a Hollywood celebrity to be stalked.   In the 21st-century these modern and technological times offer personal information from the wide world web information about the stalkers victim making it so much easier.

You would think that receiving so much attention of admiration from a woman would make one feel very “special.”  However, the opposite is felt.  Trust me, its a very creepy feeling and the after affect is more ugly!

Stalking may consist of a series of legal actions such as calling the victim on the phone, sending gifts, or sending them emails, and heartfelt letters.

There are different categories that Psychologist place women stalkers under.  One type of stalking labeled the “vengeance” stalker.  The motive is “to get even” with the victim whom the stalker perceives has done some wrong to them, or not accepting the stalkers lurid advances to move their relationship to the next level.  However, the majority of women stalkers are intimacy-seekers who display delusional disorder involving erotomania thoughts and dreams.

Women are victims by their own gender.  Psychiatric intervention is recommended in managing the underlying mental illness as a solution to the problem.

If you are a woman and you are experiencing stalking by your own gender DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!  Keep in mind that you “THE VICTIM”  cannot control the stalker and the choices they make.  Always maintain a vigilant watch and keep a journal of the incident and a cell phone handy.  If your cell phone has a camera take a picture of the individual for your record.  Go to places where there are people.  Don’t visit the places alone.  Bring family members and friends along.  Notice I place emphasis on the plurals. 

I personally experienced women stalking me and found that they don’t enjoy having their pictures taken.  They hide their faces.  Do this method enough and they get the idea.  Sooner or later they will leave you alone!!!


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16 Responses to “Why Do Women Stalk Women?”
  1. Christeen Says:

    I’ve been Stalked now for over 8 years by a psychotic female who also has her friends and possibly co-workers stalking me as well!!!! I believed that this “thing” had a relationship with my ex-husband while we were living in the same complex, however after we moved into our new home, she started coming up to the house all hours of the day and night throwing things at our home and had her friends doing the same. I reported her to the police. They even stopped her one morning @ 6 a.m. around the corner from our home and still nothing?? She has followed me to both my first and second jobs and continues to monitor my whereabouts and turns up at the most inconvenient times and will be sitting along side the road with hazards on or will be coming in the opposite direction to blink her high beams on and off and has her followers doing the same no matter what route i take there’s always one of them???? I don’t know what her problem is nor do I care, she needs help and J.Francis you know who you are and your followers. She uses other peoples cars to do her dirty work or she’ll have someone bring her to my job and do a drive by!!!! REALLY don’t you have a job, life, a MAN……….you know that’s what you’re supposed to have A MAN or woman I really don’t care, all I know is that I don’t like women, I like MEN and MEN only!!!! I’m sick of seeing your drawn on eyebrows and that haters smurk you wear so well on that remedial face of your!!! I believe he wanted you for one thing and that was it!!! Get over it!!! and I didn’t even approach you on the subject, I was raised that whomever is sleeping in your face is who you talk with and that was my husband!!! I approached you back in 2003 and your Mamie because you were sitting across from my second job just watching me like some creepie little detective……………you just can’t do things to people and expect to keep getting away with it and nothings going to be said!!!! You’re supposed to be an adult, act like one and not your shoe size, unless there’s need for medication on your behalf???? and with that being said, go get yourself some meds, a man and move on because this is my LIFE and I plan to live it to the fullest and it doesn’t include YOU nor your followers constantly interfering on your behalf because U are not enjoying your life. Get a grip and move on you’re not getting any younger!!!!!

  2. Patrick Smith Says:

    My wife was stalked constantly by a woman whose daughter was friends with out daughter. Turns out the woman stalker was trying to get her attention and be my wife friend. Weird Hah?!

  3. Mike Weissmann Says:

    Women in general are crazed human beings. I’m glad I never married one. I date them but that is how far it goes. I control the situation otherwise they are controlling me. If there is anything worse then a controlling woman. They all loved me since I’m wealthy and live in a beautiful home overlooking the Peconic Bay in Laurel, New York. I’m successful and drive a Lincoln MKZ and a BMW.

  4. Richard Walters Says:

    This whole thing about women stalking women is weird and strange. Women have their quirks worse then men. They have PMS which puts them out in another relm. Their personalities change like the wind that blows are 190 miles per hour. Plus, women have girl power which means they stick together like glue and if a certain woman or women aren’t in the same gang then they stalk one another. You have heard of the staying: “If you cannot beat them, join them”.

  5. Josh Williams Says:

    Yea an ex-girlfriend stalked me after we broke up. She was so broken up about us that she went where ever I was. I knew she was deranged but this stalking business put the icing on the cake. She had serious personality and mood swings. She finally stopped when she met someone new. I just date now. I don’t have any intentions of marrying again. This all happened when I was 31 years old. Now I’m 56 and single and free. I have a great job with pay and live in a beautiful house with my Golden Retriever and Jack Russell Terrier dogs. They’re better company then woman. Don’t get me wrong, I love the opposite sex but a man can only take so much. I have many, many friends that are of both sexes. We have so much fun I don’t need to be tied down right at this moment. I do have a two women in mind who I would like to live with sometime when I’m around 65 or 66. I want to remain “in control” of my life. Thanks for this article. Hey I’ve been reading so many of your articles and you really are a writer who know how to put stories together. Have you ever thought of becoming a really serious novel writer??? If not, you better make the move!!! You could score really high with your stories. Thanks again.

  6. Mary Says:

    I am experiencing this right now. It is really freaking me out. Hopefully, it stops fast but I don’t know. This girls mom and my mom were friends. Every year on my birthday to this day she brings me a present. I say thank you and try to be polite. My mother used to MAKE me talk to her. We went to school together all of our lives. I know she had a troubled past and I felt sorry for her. We never hung around the same people or friends. I did say Hello to her occasionally. In High School she started drinking and being disrespectful to everyone. She is very prejudiced and never hid it. She just does not click with me so I was never really friends with her. 7 years ago, I moved back to our home town and she invited me to a cook out. She told me that she always wanted to be like me and be my friend. She said that she looked up to me and at first I was flattered but it sounded a little strange to me. After that I didn’t see her very much, meaning I avoided her. A couple of days ago, I ran into her again and of course, she did a u-turn and chased me down! She just said she needed help and a friend so being older I felt bad about how I had ignored her in the past. So, I gave her some cash, we talked it was good. Yesterday, she called me and drama was happening and I felt like I did not want to get involved but took her with me all day shopping and to dinner. Later, we went to her house for a girls night and I didn’t know she was addicted to drugs. She had been doing them behind my back. I didn’t notice until she started talking really hateful to me and I felt bad because me children were with me and so we left in the middle of the night. I am afraid now because of the drug use.

  7. Mary Says:

    Oh! I forgot this time she like put me on a pedastal. I could hear it in her voice. She stated I was her SuperWoman, and that she loves my spirit. Than she started calling me “Sister” in public.

  8. Zoe Hillson Says:

    Mary, this individual sounds to me, from your writing, that she may be heading for a negative way of life. Perhaps she is already there. Stay far away and don’t become involved on any level. Keep yourself safe and bring a parent or a friend with you. I’ve had people stalk me to want to be close to me but I’ve walked away from them. I carry a cell phone and ready to dial 911 when needed. Hopefully, it doesn’t come to that. Thanks for your writing. Good luck and be careful!!!

  9. karin Says:

    niece has problem with me, every time in dating man niece would seek attention and flirting like sneaky snake. some how i think niece has problem with me, wants hurt me, but, niece gotta get thru my man to bring me down, why?? niece done this twice now 2 different relationships, respect gone out the window, im at point where i cannot trust niece. niece has big problem with me, last time i saw her she said hello unfriendly. maybe its manipulation, maybe she wants hurt me via my man to bring me down, maybe she wants to be me, i dont understand, niece jealous or stalking me

  10. Lorelei Says:

    This has happened to me . I think that it arises out of some sort of jealousy that exists in the person and they focus on other females all throughout their lives and try to develop the persona of the women they stalk. Some kind of woman who does not have an identity and who cannot seem to ‘win’ through bullying others with her friends.
    I know of a woman scorned right now who is so envious of my life that she is trying to pattern all of her actions in a way that she will bring herself closer to an identity similar to my own. She was made to feel “not good enough” when compared to me by the man in my life, so she is scorned and wants some sort of vengeance.She has watched me many times from a distance when I had no clue that she existed. I got that creeped out feeling all of a sudden and took note of the faces around me.She still watches me from a distance. She tries to put herself or something to do with herself in front of me all of the time.She is presently pursuing a degree in my field. If I leave any info about myself open to the public, she uses it as a guide to follow.
    Should I be flattered? Should I be fearful? I am still creeped out and don’t want to be on guard all of the time, but I think it will be necessary for a long, long time.

  11. Zoe Hillson Says:

    Lorelei I’m going to ask you a few questions. And if you answer NO to all of them follow the suggestions at the end of the questions.
    1. Do you own a DOG?
    2. Do you go out to a public place alone?
    3. Does your cell phone have a camera?
    4. Do you park your car in a public place under lights?
    5. Do you share your place of residence with family or friends?
    6. Is your phone on your bedside table?

    If you don’t have a DOG get one! Dogs are the best protection against human and not wanted intruders. Dogs bite, house alarms don’t. House alarms make loud noises. Besides DOGS
    are “man’s best friend.” Get a dog, a large one like a Great Dane, and love that dog to death. Dogs do and will protect their masters in time of trouble!!!
    Bring a family or friend when you go out. Witnesses!!!
    Your cell phone doesn’t have a camera buy a digital and carry it with you ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE YOU GO!!!
    Park you car under the lights in a parking lot or garage.
    Tell your family or friends, whomever you share your residence with, about your problem stalker.
    Keep a cordless phone by your side when you sleep.
    GOOD LUCK!!!

  12. Elise Renee Gingerich Says:

    I’ve Had This Crazy Lady, Who’s Been Pestering Me, Since About Last Spring Of 2011, Who Calls Herself Lindsay Collins Or Whatever. (Currently, She Goes By Doktor Lindsay Collins!) Anyways, She Is Now Currently Going By The Name Of Doktor Lindsay Collins, Although Before, She Was Just Going By The Name Of Just Plain Lindsay Collins. I Cannot Really Think Of Anybody Or Anyone (Anyone Or Anybody Whatever) That Is In My Past (My Past Maybe??) Who Goes By The Name Of Lindsay Or Collins (Or Lindsay Collins) I Had To Have My Most Recent Number Changed, Because She Was Calling Me, And She Was Calling Me, Because I Stupidly Gave Her My Former Telephone Number (Stupidly!) Before I Had My Most Recent Phone Number Changed! Her Most Recent Email To Me Less Than Two Weeks Ago: She Is Now (dead) And In The After Life Having A Beer With Jesus In Hawaii. (Her Last Random Email To Me Less Than Two Weeks Ago Actually Said She Was Now Actually (dead) And Her And Jesus Were Having A Beer In Hawaii In The After Life!) And She Has Been Pestering Me, That I Can Remember Anyways, Since Last Spring Of 2011. :( I Think She Could Show Up And Do Harm To Me Here In Kansas. (She Very Well Could Show Up In Kansas, If Not Already Here, And Do Harm To Me.) If She’s Not Already Here In Kansas, That Is!

  13. Princess Says:

    Once in a while someone decides to go crazy on my cellphone either calling & hanging up non-stop or going silent when I answer their calls. Recently a female by the name of ‘Bridget’ sends me call backs and won’t answer her phone when I call her back but keeps filling my inbox with these “Please call me” messages…she personalizes them as Cool Girl or BUT WHY? I have no idea who the woman is and what she wants, she seems to enjoy being a mysterious nuisance in my life. I’m a young married woman and I wouldn’t know if she might be linked to my husband in anyway maybe? He doesn’t know who she is either. I have tried to call her with other numbers she won’t answer….this is very strange to me

  14. Just Some Dude Says:

    A note to Mike Weissmann, the fact is you looks like you’re using your real name, never do that. That’s asking for trouble, don’t mention the kind of vehicles you have, where you live and that you have a lot of money (rich).

    That in and of itself will reel in stalkers and the bad crowd. You would really surprised what people can find out about and on you on the Internet.

    A note to Christeen, the fact that nobody is doing anything about this is quite mysterious. Have you been documenting everything that is going on and recording it with video camera? Having evidence of this actually going on can help the authorities go after the suspect / perpetrator. You need to tell the police that you don’t feel safe with her around and tell them the history, in other words, you need to support your claims.

    A note about stating someone is psychotic, is probably not in your best interest, especially if you are not a clinical psychologist nor a psychiatrist. I know people tend to use that word a bit too much nowadays and don’t know the actual meaning of it. Now, having sociopathic tendencies or behavior can be a little more descriptive. But to call them a sociopath or psychopath probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

    Is she sick? If what you say is 100% true, yes, she is sick. The only thing you can do right now is document to high hell and also get a restraining order put on her head. If she steps it up in her antics, document to high hell, contact your lawyer, in which he / she will contact the police to get their arse over there to take care of it.

  15. Anonymous Says:

    I\’ve had a crazy female neighbor in her 30\’s stalking me-standing outside my apartment building-in the front of the building and she calls me all kinds of names like weirdo and retard;even though I am not. I have a professional job and this woman does\’nt even work. I am very active and it\’s getting annoying and creepy..like she never goes anywhere and has nothing better to do than watch me! I am an attractive woman in my 50\’s all of my friends are married and don\’t live near me. Right now I am not seeing anyone. None of the neighbors will step in and help me out. Her husband knocked on my door the other night-but I did\’nt answer my door in fear that she might come after me. She really creeps me out and you hear her yelling over at her house all of the time at her husband. I am moving in a month. Does anyone have any more helpful suggestions?….-ANONYMOUS!!!

  16. heather Says:

    I’m being stalked by 2 women right now. One for several years and the other I guess just joined in with her Carrie Marlow has watched me for years. Now she has Beronica Wilson doing it. I have been to the police, moved, changed jobs. You name it I’ve tried it. They even watch my 80 yr old parents. Carrie has had restraining order filed against her by another women she stalked. The police say they can’t do anything till one of them cross the line. When is that, when I’m dead? Why can’t stalking laws be more severe. why isn’t there more help for things like this? I have no choice but to start looking for a diffrent job and try moving again. I pray for anyone who has to go thru this.

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