The Tact Test

1. How many of the following do you have?

* A lot of distractions

* A “dizzy” personality

* Not many friends

* A forgetful nature

* A loud voice

* A big mouth

* Even bigger feet

2. Your partner’s vertically-challenged (i.e. not very tall) best mate comes round. How many times do you say the word “short” or mention pixies, elves or garden gnomes in the first half an hour?

a) At least twice – sometimes when you’re actively trying not to mention something you just can’t stop mentioning it.

b) Once, then try to make a big joke out of it and make things even more embarrassing.

c) Several times, but he is short and he knows it, so why shouldn’t you mention it?

d) None. You wouldn’t dream of being so insensitive – even accidentally…

3. You’ve just had a major bitching session about someone. The person you’re talking to looks aghast and tells you the person you’ve just ripped to shreds is a close friend of theirs. What do you do?

a) Back-pedal frantically, saying you don’t really know them at all and you’re sure they’re actually very nice, blah blah blah…

b) Apologise for being so bitchy.

c) Offer your condolences to them for having such an awful friend.

d) Faint.

4. Which of the following comedy characters do you find the most amusing?

a) Basil Fawlty

b) Mr. Bean

c) Tony from Men Behaving Badly

d) You don’t find any of them amusing – they’re all a bit pathetic

5. Here are some snippets about tactlessness. Mark each one true or false.

* Anyone can be tactless.

* You’re bound to put your foot in it big-time at least once in your life.

* Women are generally more tactless than men.

* “Tactless” is the word often used to describe a person who has just revealed an unpleasant truth.

* There’s a thin line between tactlessness and honesty.

6. Have you ever mercilessly slated someone only to find they were within earshot?

a) No – you try not to bitch about people behind their backs.

b) No, but there have definitely been a couple of close shaves.

c) Yes, but you kind of wanted them to hear it.

d) Yes – and what a hideous experience it was too. (They’re still not talking to you.)

7. A friend invites you to her new flat. You say it’ll look great once she’s got rid of the nasty “old lady” colour schemes. She says she’s already redecorated. Do you:

a) Start parpling on about how the B & B look is making a comeback this season.

b) Suddenly remember an urgent appointment and dash off.

c) Start mumbling cliches, such as “each to their own” and “it takes all sorts” whilst resigning yourself to the fact that your friendship is now well and truly over.

d) Suggest that she might be colour blind and recommend a good optician.

8. What do you make of Hugh Grant’s character in Four Weddings And A Funeral?

a) Really irritating – how can anyone be that flaky?

b) Very funny and human – someone you can totally identify with.

c) A bit wishy-washy – in fact, to be honest, you can’t really remember much about him.

d) He’s a bumbling idiot of the highest order!

9. With how many of the following statements do you agree?

* There’s no such thing as a secret

* Hiding things from people doesn’t help them in the long run

* There’s nothing wrong with speaking your mind

* It’s too much of a responsibility when you’re given some information (without even asking for it), then ordered not to breathe a word to a soul

* If someone’s upset by the truth, that’s their problem – no-one else’s

10. Have you ever been accused of being tactless?

a) Yes, but you don’t know why.

b) Yes, it’s a running joke amongst your friends and family.

c) No, because you’re not.

d) No, but only because the people you know are too tactful to say…

Now add up your scores to discover the truth about yourself…

SCORES

1. Score 1 point for each. (Maximum score 8 points.)

2. a-2; b-1; c-3; d-0

3. a-2; b-1; c-3; d-0

4. a-2; b-1; c-3; d-0

5. Score 1 point for each “true” and no points for each “false”. (Maximum points: 5)

6. a-0; b-1; c-3; d-2

7. a-2; b-0; c-1; d-3

8. a-3; b-2; c-1; d-0

9. Score 1 point for each statement you agree with and no points for the ones you disagree with. (Maximum points: 5)

10. a-1; b-3; c-0; d-2

Now check below to see whether you’ve passed the tact test…

CONCLUSIONS

If you scored 30 or over, you’re MS. MOUTH ALMIGHTY! You just can’t help yourself, can you? You just open that massive gob and out comes all sorts of stuff that should really stay in! OK, so it isn’t always your fault – there’s a lot going on in your life and you’ve got better things to worry about than being tactful at all times – but more often than not it is. And worse than that, there’s a small sadistic part of you that actually enjoys being so “open”. (That’s what you call it anyway – others would call it tactless.) You can’t – or won’t – keep a secret: in your opinion, if anyone confides in you, it’s at their own peril. You reckon that sometimes having a reputation for always putting your foot in it can actually benefit you – in that people expect it of you so you don’t have to go too much out of your way to be discreet. You like to think that they see you as honest (albeit painfully so) and that, as far as you’re concerned, is a good thing. You hate keeping secrets and believe that if people can’t face the truth then that’s no problem of yours.

If you scored 20 – 29 points, MS. LACK-OF-TACT. You’re always opening your mouth and putting your enormous trotters in it; no matter how hard you try, you just can seem to stop yourself. OK, so you’ve got a lot on your mind and you find it hard to keep track of what you’re not supposed to say, but it never seems to cross your mind that the best thing to do – if only on occasion – is to keep totally schtum. You often find that making an effort to keep quiet about something makes it all the more likely that you’re going to blurt it out at an inappropirate moment. When you put your foot in it, you often try to make things better by attempting to explain why you said what you said – and, in doing that, invariably end up by making things worse. You don’t reckon you have a problem – you believe that everyone’s capable of slipping up from time to time – you’re just a tad more unlucky than most. You feel awful when you’ve made a big boo-boo, but just cross your fingers and hope that it’s soon forgotten about. Which, luckily for you, it usually is.

If you scored 10 – 19 points, MS. SLIP-UP. Like most people, you put your foot in it occasionally. When it happens, you find it absolutely mortifying, but fortunately you don’t really make a habit of it. You’re reasonably thoughtful when it comes to others and controlled in what you say, and always make an effort to think before you blurt: any extreme tactlessness from you would be quite out of character. If you do slip up, you’re extremely apologetic and can usually extricate yourself from the embarrassing situation without too much fuss. You’re no angel by any means and enjoy a good gossip and bitching session as much as the next person, but occasional bad luck means that you’re sometimes caught out. When asked to keep a secret, you may tell one other person, but you wouldn’t dream of mentioning anything to anyone who might be upset by the information. You believe in saying what you think, but are happy to keep quiet in order to avoid hurting another person’s feelings.

If you scored 9 or under, you’re MS. DISCREET. You’re a naturally considerate and tactful person, whch means you rarely put your foot in it. You’re very aware of other people’s feelings and make every effort not to hurt them. Some of the scenarios in the questions included in this quiz were very difficult for you to answer, simply because you’ve never been in those sort of predicaments. On the rare occasions when you have slipped up, the whole situation is so alien to you, you find it hard to cope. Your instant reaction is to retreat and this can manifest itself in a number of ways. You can’t believe how tactless some people are and you find it hard to understand how certain types find tactless behaviour amusing. You’re no saint, but you try not to say anything behind someone’s back that you wouldn’t be able to say to their face. And you believe that being gentle with people, instead of being blatantly truthful, is often for the best: honesty is no bad thing, but the truth can be painful sometimes…

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