Pedophiles Wives Wear Blinders

January 6, 2012 by Ruby Hawk  
Published in Women

The wife of almost every pedophile claims she did not know her husband was abusing children. But we women know our husbands well, maybe even better than they know themselves. Do these particular women wear blinders while their own children and others are being molested or do they feel so isolated and inferior that they have no voice to protest? Psychologist have recently come up with a profile for the wives of pedophiles. It could explain why they are so adept at wearing blinders.

How can it be that wives of sex abusers do not know what their husbands are doing? Could it take a certain kind of wife to keep a blind eye to her husbands abuse of children? It’s not something we are comfortable thinking about. Since the Penn State scandal of Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of boys, questions are arising about the women who share these molesters beds. How could they not know? Laurie Fine admitted on tape that she knew of her husbands abuse of children, and slept in the bed with one of them. She could be a good example of a pedophiles complicit wife, but what kind of woman is that?

Image by gareth1953 Happy New Year Everyone via Flickr

People who know Dottie Sandusky say she is a soft spoken, church going woman. They cannot imagine that she knew her husband was a pedophile and abusing boys in her own house, and her in it. Isn’t there something wrong with that picture? Researchers say the majority of abusers wives claim consistently they don’t know anything about the abuse. Sorry, I don’t believe it. Robin Brouchard, wife of a man who was convicted of repeatedly raping her own daughter said she didn’t know. She thought he was a good father. He coached the child’s hockey team, her soccer team and they’d go out to play ball. How could a woman not know her own husband was molesting her child?

Psychologists caution there is no one size fits all model for these women, but they do share some common characteristics. Most are religious, submissive and shy with very low self esteem. This profile fits Dottie Sandusky to a T. Her life revolved around her church, her demigod husband and his children’s charity, where she served, and where he choose his victims. Some pedophile clues are, lack of sexual interest. Every wife interviewed said they thought it was normal and every couple had sexual problems. I don’t believe that either. Nine out of ten wives have to know. There may be an occasional pedophile that cannot be read by his wife, but it’s hard for me to believe that even one in ten is possible.

Robin Brouchard still says she’s looked back so many times and there was not a single sign. There just wasn’t. People find ways of choosing not to see a lot of disgusting behavior and, maybe it’s just me but I cannot comprehend how a woman can live her daily life with a man and not know him. I think she chooses not to see what’s in front of her eyes.

Articles by Ruby Hawk:

http://socyberty.com/crime/sexual-predators/

http://socyberty.com/issues/child-slaves/

http://socyberty.com/issues/child-prostitutes/

http://socyberty.com/language/understanding-sign-language/

http://socyberty.com/government/the-bill-of-rights/

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29 Responses to “Pedophiles Wives Wear Blinders”
  1. lxdollarsxl Says:

    I think your so right, they do see the signs and even witness the acts at times but refuse to acknowledge the truth.

  2. prsol46 Says:

    I completely agree. My guess is that it hurts less to try not to notice it or to try not to recognize that it is happening. It has to be tough living with something like that. It might be the only way that they can cope.

  3. Rosettaartist1 Says:

    One paedophile I met through the course of my previous job was so creepy that it was obvious he was letcherous and had sex on his mind. This was a man who had sex with his own two daughters and when caught out he arranged a suicide pact with his wife. She died, he didn’t. I know what the average person’s view on that one is likely to be. Of course these women know. They just don’t want to face the fact head on and do something about it.

  4. LoveDoctor Says:

    There’s a lot of truth in this article. You said it in the last line. Some of these women don’t want to see the truth in front of them.

  5. LCM Linda Says:

    There are women in the world who only concern keeping the other half. They refuse to step in and stop the crime or terrible happenings.

  6. SharifaMcFarlane Says:

    They’re in denial.

  7. Shirley Shuler Says:

    You are absolutely right, Ruby, how can they not know!!

  8. AndAnotherThing Says:

    Discussing this sick trait can only do good, These things were too long taboo. Making them common knowledge ensures pedophiles have fewer places and opportunities to carry on.

    This aspect of pedophile life seems new but now it has surfaced it could be used to stop pedophiles some more. If women could somehow empower their pedophile protecting sisters then we would move to a society in which less children are abused. If they are religious types then their churches need to explain the error of their ways to them and make it clear that there is no forgiveness for being anyway complicit in harming children. If this doesn’t happen the churches should be suspected of complicity.

  9. indianwriting Says:

    some of them may be actually dumb..but majority are just shit scared to face this situation. May be they think its a disease which would just go away in time..such a pathetic situation for the child and what a shame such things happen in a civilized world :(

  10. realityspeaks Says:

    Why individuals decide to keep mum even though they know whats going on is beyond understanding, Excellent post.

  11. Angelji Says:

    GRRR can’t imagine this . they are like beast !

  12. Linda Lori Says:

    Great article. Sad but true. I completely agree with you.

  13. mdrkarim7 Says:

    Good reading after a while from you again.

  14. petercurtis97 Says:

    Most would know only too well.

  15. Christine Ramsay Says:

    I am sure most of them know what their husbands are doing but as you say either choose not to believe it or are too frightened to do anything about it. I really feel for the victims.

  16. Yvhes P. Says:

    well written and presented article. thanks for sharing.

  17. megamatt09 Says:

    It is rather scary what people will ignore not to disrupt their little world.

  18. Moses Ingram Says:

    Another good artical Ruby and I agree with you. I also think that ‘religious, submissive and low self esteem says it all’.

  19. MJRapp Says:

    I think this is true of a lot of issues. Nobody wants to think someone they love is a monster. They are in denial.

  20. nishlaverz Says:

    My friend had her children taken in to care because her now ex had been abusing them. She has always said she knew nothing of what was going on. The court did not believe her as she was a full time mum. However there were plenty of times that her ex was alone with the kids. I even saw him doing something suspicious when he was alone in the car with them while my friend was in the supermarket where I work. I could not be sure what was going on as I was only able to see the car from a distance so I had no real proof of what he was up to.

    He was also violent towards my friend which made her feel like he would go after her if she left and took the kids away from him.

    So some women my know that it is happening but are to scared of what their partner my do to them if they try to stop them or even tell the police.

    I have also been through a case where the defendant was convicted by a jury on the evidence of someone who even told the court that he had in the past lied for attention. The evidence given by the prosecution was circumstantial at best.

  21. A. Giovanni Says:

    Good article… Personally, I think many of them do know, especially when it is taking place inside their home and they hear the child screaming… as in the Sandusky wife case. Obviously, she knew.

    But, there are cases where the pedo waits until he is away from home. These clever pedos don’t touch their own kids. So, the wife sincerely has no idea until decades later when (if) he gets caught.

    All rapists and pedos are con artists. Most of them look pretty normal, they wear decent clothes, they have good jobs a lot of time (influential or power jobs – like cops, coaches and teachers). It is the nature of con men that they con those around them. They con their victims and everyone they come in contact with. That’s why everybody’s so surprised with the freak gets caught… “Danny is so loved by everyone, he’s always been such a good guy. We had no idea he was raping hundreds of little girls for two decades!” That’s a little bit of paraphrasing, but I just read something like this about a pedo caught in Houston a couple of days ago. People who know the person always seem to be surprised.

    Of course, lots of people are just idiots. You can tell them something is going on, but they won’t listen. And, this is a huge part of the problem in cases of rapists.

  22. yes me Says:

    I think it would be hard not to notice something odd, we had a crazy couple, here years ago, who both abducted kids… cheers great piece Ruby

  23. girishpuri Says:

    i am speech less…

  24. koperty3 Says:

    I agree with you. I don’t believe either. They has to know. Great article.

  25. Amy Says:

    My uncle is a child molester and his wife (my aunt) has backed him all the way. This guy assaulted me when I was 15, the police did nothing. Now my family have nothing to do with my aunt and uncle but my brother wants to get in touch with my aunt. This hurts me greatly. She is just as sick as her husband, shes sleeping with a guy who molested her niece and I know that deep down she knows the truth. Am I the only one who thinks my brother wanting contact with her is just wrong? I have ptsd because of what he did and my brother constantly talking about her makes me relive the nightmare and I start self harming again.

  26. Laura Says:

    I agree with the writer. There is something seriously wrong with these women who claim they didn’t know. I was raised next door to a family whose father was clearly a pedophile, by its clinical definition. The man’s aged mother lived in the house too. She complained to the wife what she saw him do. The wife, hysterical, confided in my mother….with “how could Grandmom say such things about him?” Pretty bad when her mother in law was telling her stuff about him and she refused to believe it! God only knows what his daughters may have experienced. I only know what I and many other youngsters experienced in his presence. He’s dead now for years and good riddance.

  27. Solange Says:

    Ms. Hawk, I think it is interesting that all of the commenters are in agreement with you. Likely, this comment will go nowhere in that case, but I feel compelled to write it anyway. They say that the definition of blame is that we use it to dispel our bad feelings. I think that is the core of the problem with blaming wives. No one really understands pedophilia simply because no one wants to know. It is easier to blame than to look at the problem. Now, you are saying that it is easier to blame their wives than it is to look at the problem. Child molestation is an extremely emotional issue. We would rather numb ourselves through blame than realize that it could exist in our communities, in our homes, within our very own husbands. With 1:4 girls sexually assaulted and 1:6 boys, we can’t afford to waste our time by numbing ourselves through blame…especially not blaming people who were not involved! At some point we’re really going to have to look at how this happens and how to recognize those issues within ourselves—and I mean all of us. Child sexual assault is too common to blame it on the next guy. Everyone has some soul searching to do. Unfortunately, your article just encourages people to push if it off to someone else. Too bad.

  28. beccy Says:

    To start My researched response in this subject is grounded in both professional and personal experience. I have worked directly with survivors as individuals and worked with whole families of adult and child survivors. Here i lower my high brow because I have been in denial discourse with my religious mother for over 30 years. Furthermore witnessed the impact of the denial on her ability to stay with the perpetrator for 17 years and move on to similarly destructive or abusive partners. I have seen her use religion as a cloak of justification. ‘He is my husband in the eyes of god’ and therefore a women must be in subjection. I’m in recovery from a mental melt down. And i had impacted an emotional brick wall. so i googled a question and arrived at this post. My question is why don’t they get a criminal trial along side the husband if it can be proven that they where told or they new? I think they should. Zero tolerance? may be not for wife’s who have tried to escape a sociopathic abuser. That’s really difficult and they are taint amount to victims themselves. So thanks to all the contributors. I conclude all abusers and their wifey colluders should be tried in law. Sexual abusers grooming, threatening and manipulative behaviour should be made an open an open topic along side the traumatic impact of their action. Only then will early intervention become more prevalent. then wife’s will not fall for the cloak of deception. Lets face it they were pido boy friends before they were husbands. What happened?

  29. beccy freespeak Says:

    To start My researched response in this subject is grounded in both professional and personal experience. I have worked directly with survivors as individuals and worked with whole families of adult and child survivors. Here i lower my high brow because I have been in denial discourse with my religious mother for over 30 years. Furthermore witnessed the impact of the denial on her ability to stay with the perpetrator for 17 years and move on to similarly destructive or abusive partners. I have seen her use religion as a cloak of justification. ‘He is my husband in the eyes of god’ and therefore a women must be in subjection. I’m in recovery from a mental melt down. And i had impacted an emotional brick wall. so i googled a question and arrived at this post. My question is why don’t they get a criminal trial along side the husband if it can be proven that they where told or they new? I think they should. Zero tolerance? may be not for wife’s who have tried to escape a sociopathic abuser. That’s really difficult and they are taint amount to victims themselves. So thanks to all the contributors. I conclude all abusers and their wifey colluders should be tried in law. Sexual abusers grooming, threatening and manipulative behaviour should be made an open an open topic along side the traumatic impact of their action. Only then will early intervention become more prevalent. then wife’s will not fall for the cloak of deception. Lets face it they were pido boy friends before they were husbands. What happened?


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