Domestic Violence, Abuse and You

August 31, 2012 by camily  
Published in Women

Introduction:
Most of us live in a state of denial when it comes to domestic violence and abuse. This is a worldwide phenomenon and can happen to anyone of us irrespective of our social status, gender, size, age, religious affiliation and strength. We tend to over look this issue or deny its existence yet cases of domestic violence and abuse keep increasing by the day. This abuse can non physical but psychological and ends up leaving life threatening scars in our lives.

Early noticing of signs and warning is very critical; symptoms ofdomestic violence and abuse can be stopped if notice in their early stage. It is no use living in fear of someone you love and adore. This though does not leave out singles in relationships.

How to understand domestic violence and abuse:

In other quarters referred to as spousal abuse, domestic violence is occurs when here is a one sided dominance in a marriage or relationship over one person. If his dominance turns physical, it then becomes domestic violence. This is to serve a single purpose, that of maintaining total control. Most abusers tend to instil fear, guilt, intimidation, shame to lower their counterparts self esteemhence keep you under their control. Some abusers may hurt you, threaten or hurt those you hold dear and close to your heart.

In a relationship, domestic violence is non discriminatory and spans through gay marriages or same sex partnerships through to heterosexual relationships and marriages. Its preference is not restricted to age; neither ethnicity nor economic statuses are spared. Women seem to be victimized as compared to their male counterparts. The argument is that any form of abuse should not be condoned whether fro and adult, teenager, a woman or man. Men unlike women seem to be resistance to abuse as compared to women but the bottom line is to feel respected, loved, valued and safe.

How to recognize domestic violence and abuse:

Domestic violence and abuse is not a way to find love and usually escalates from simple verbal threats leading to physical injury but the most devastating end result is the psychological and emotional ones which are known to destroy ones self-worth thus leading to depression and anxiety with loneliness as a bye-product. You will agree with me that no one deserves this pain- once you are in an abusive situation, seek help as soon as you can. Some people especially housewives usually wish this situation or signs away in the assumption that they will disappear on their own.

Abusive relationship signs:

Most people tend to shy away from confessing to these signs to their partners. If you cannot speak your mind to your partner then that’s the first sign. Doing things so as to avoid blow ups means your relationship is abusive and unhealthy. Other signs include a partnership where one is belittled and controlled which results in a feeling of worthlessness, desperation and a self loathing feeling.

Other signs are your partner yelling at you, criticizes and puts you down, treats you badly and embarrasses you in front of family and friends, ignores your ideas, suggestions, opinions and accomplishments. Some form of abuse can be when your partner sees you just as a sex object or property as opposed to a person and they usually put blame on you for their own abusive behaviours.

Excessive jealousy and possessiveness and movement control on where to go is also abusive. If your partner keeps you away from seeing your friends and family or limiting you access to phones and internets social networks, then this is a form or sign of abuse. The exposure to the internet does not necessarily mean you browse those dating sites.

Domestic violence and physical abuse:

This does not necessarily mean the physical abuse of a spouse or a lover, it is the use of excess force against someone which endangers or injures them. It is a crime to batter or use assaulting means to achieve your goal.

One of the most common forms of physical abuse is the sexual abuse one and this revolves around being forced into unsafe, unwanted and degrading activity.

There is also the more subtle form of abuse in terms of economic or financial sabotage and includes stealing your money, controlling your finances, sabotaging your work by constantly calling, making you miss work, denying you your basic needs like clothes, medication, shelter and food, making account of any money you spend and preventing you from working or making decisions about your career.

If you notice these aspects are slowly creeping in to your daily life, it is a good idea to go for counselling before it becomes worse. Any situation can be corrected if noted early. Do not wait too long as domestic violence and abuse can turn out to be fatal.

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