Your Wedding

A wedding should be the biggest party you ever have; the biggest and the best. Everyone you know, everyone who cares about you, should be there, and you should bathe in their love and good feelings.

You should enjoy your wedding more than any other social gathering. And all your guests should as well. For many of you, what I’ve just written is as bizarre as the feeding habits of two toed sloths. For many of you, the most important person at your wedding is the photographer.

Wearing that one time dress, which costs the Earth and has no other use save to be wrapped in blue paper and packed into the closet isn’t sensible unless you have money to burn. 

For many, weddings become public root canal. People have forgotten the purpose of a wedding; it is a public declaration of a change of status. Everyone should be there to see the bride and groom become husband and wife.

As weddings have become cash cows for hotels and other venues, where invitations are limited by how few the bride/groom can afford, the whole purpose is defeated.

Getting married at an exotic resort means everyone has to travel there. Where it can be combined with vacations, so friends and relatives are going to the exotic resort on their own and your wedding is part of the itinerary, fine.

Where guests are expected to plunk down air fare and hotel stay; well you won’t have much of a wedding; more a photo op.

Many hotels in exotic places run wedding rackets which although seeming to be less costly then hiring the local hall, paying caterers, etc. becomes unbelievably expensive once one appreciates how much each guest costs the bride/groom, for price is built on ‘plate’ and ‘plate’ costs are ridiculously high.

Unlike having the reception at your home or a local venue, it is not simply that you invite ten and twenty show up and the food either stretches or some guests go hungry, this is an upfront cost; this is stop the guests in the lobby, call up to the room, and no one passes reception unless you come down and pay, right now, for the “extra” guests.

When you don’t have the cash, and people, like your best friend from High School have to be turned away, it doesn’t bode well. If the purpose of your wedding is wear the fancy dress and have those nice photos and videos, you should have a long rethink. Unless you have no family or friends, (and should elope) your choice ought be the most inclusive reception.

Venues are not vital. Any space can do, for the people who come to your wedding come to see you. Food is not important, much of it won’t be eaten anyway. People do not come for the free meal, they come to show their affection.

Being able to look upon those who mattered in your life; from your kindergarten teacher, to that lady who was nice to you when you were in difficulty, to the old man who used to give you a free lollipop when you went to his store, tie your past to your future in the glorious present of your wedding.

Before you plunk down thousands of dollars on meaningless frills which will only wind up as photographs in some album, think of what you want to remember about the day; for those memories are far more valuable?