How to Plan a Wedding

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Budget

So you’ve got the ring, you’ve rocked the Kasbah is celebration and now it’s down to the nitty gritty hard labor that is planning a wedding. Don’t stress too much because there are so many things that can go wrong with a wedding, it’s important to expect some things to go wrong so that you approach the problems with a cool head.

The very first thing you need to do is arrange a budget. It’s important to try and stick to this budget and not get carried away with those cute little place settings because before you know it, the whole “but I only spent a little extra on the place settings” turns to spending a little more on everything you buy.

Unless you have an endless bank balance you’ll find that you’ve spent so much on the little things you now have to sacrifice your dream wedding dress for something a little more subtle. No woman ever wants to settle for less when it comes to the dress of her dreams so make sure you don’t go crazy on the rest of the items.

Guest List

Writing out the guest list can often be the single most painful moment in your entire relationship. Try to keep it simple and come up with some type of arrangement whereby you don’t invite people you haven’t seen in the last two to three years. The rest will generally be people who will turn up for the free food and to see if you’ve put on weight, that way they can laugh while they eat your food. I’m not suggesting you don’t invite your Gran who lives in another country and doesn’t make it over to see you very often because you will no doubt get birthday, Christmas and Easter cards from said Gran even though she’s living on her pension.

I think the point is to figure out who’s going to freeload and who genuinely wants to be there on the happiest day of your life. You also want to try to eliminate guilt because it is your wedding and you shouldn’t invite someone just because they invited you twenty five years ago. If they made you wear a marshmallow looking gown, use the horrendous memories imprinted on your brain to get you through the guilt.

Family Contributions

I’m not suggesting that everyone is in the position to have assistance from family because some families simply don’t have the resources to contribute.

Other families will be able to hand over a hefty amount to help with the costs. You will generally have an idea of whether they will help before you even tell them about the engagement. Finding out how much (if anything) they can contribute will help you in estimating your overall budget and may give you more finances than you originally accounted for.

Your family can always contribute even if they’re not rich, especially if they’re talented in some way. For instance my Mum arranged all of the flowers for the wedding and they were absolutely beautiful. I never expected for one minute that they would look as good as they did and I was truly proud of them. She also baked my cake! Cakes normally cost a lot of money even more a contemporary, minimalist style. She baked a beautiful white cake and even though she had carpal tunnel syndrome the cake was stunning.

Before all of this my Mum had done a horrendous job of knitting me some leg warmers for my dance classes when I was ten, said leg warmers almost ended up killing me during a high kick one day. After that I didn’t have much confidence in her abilities outside of being a Mum. I felt quite embarrassed after she did such an amazing job and just goes to show that even if you don’t think your family will take it seriously, they will.

Setting the Date

Now you’ve sorted the basics you can set your date and tell all of the important people in your life about the coming event.

When setting your date you’ll need to plan it around the venue, for instance if it’s particularly busy then you may need to have a couple of back up dates just in case.

Religious or Civil Ceremony?

You need to decide whether or not the ceremony will be religious or civil and then make the arrangements with the relevant venue. The other arrangements can be made once you have the ceremony venue set in place but until you do the rest will have to wait!

Wedding Cars

Next you need to book the wedding cars. You’ll need to consider who will be going in the cars, how many seats you’ll need, whether or not you want a chauffeur and what type of car you’re looking for. Alternatively you could opt for a horse drawn carriage which is classic and timeless for any type of wedding.

Photographer

Booking the photographer is a tough job because you may need to interview several before you select your choice. All photographers should have a sample portfolio for you to view and many may have additional photo sets to show you if you request them.

Don’t choose the cheapest photographer because you really do get what you pay for when it comes to photography and more often than not you’re paying for the photographers experience.

You’ll also need to decide if you’re going to have the event filmed and if so how much of it you want filming. The same principal applies as with the photographer so make sure you do your research before you jump in at the deep end.

Important People

Next you need to select your bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, flower girls and the best man. You may not want to have all of them and just opt for bridesmaids and the best man if it’s a smaller wedding but you should already have these in mind by now!

Reception Venue

You’ll now need to book the venue for the reception and see if they offer catering as part of the package. If not you will need to book separate caterers or opt for the DIY option if you’re feeling brave.

Book the Honeymoon

You will need to think about booking your honeymoon as early as possible to prevent disappointment if you plan to travel during peak season.

Insurance

This is possibly the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of but apparently you can take out wedding insurance. Whether or not you choose to go ahead with the insurance is up to you and I suppose it would be useful for more expensive weddings but it may prove to be costly!

Entertainment

Decide what kind of entertainment you would like for the reception and book it early to avoid disappointment. Often during busy times of the year bands and singers get booked up quickly so it’s best to put down a deposit just in case.

Wedding Dress

The wedding dress is a massive part of the wedding in the sense that it takes so much maintenance. For instance some wedding dresses can take up to three months just to arrive if they’re ordered! Then you need to have frequent fittings to ensure that you’re not gaining/losing any weight because that could be critical!

Try to choose a relatively plain colored dress because the accessories are usually enough to carry the outfit and you don’t want to overdo it. Brightly colored dresses look cheap and ghastly.

You’ll also need to arrange a day to select bridesmaid’s dresses as they need just as much maintenance as the wedding dress. They need to have the fittings too and will need to watch their weight during the period before the wedding.

Suits and Boots

The formal wear for the men in the wedding party will now need to be arranged. Ask a friend who has seen the dress to go along and guide him in the right direction. If you opt for a caramel colored dress and he decides in his moment of epic wisdom to buy a lime green suit the wedding photographs (and your face) will sour.

Decorations

Now is the time to order the place settings, invitations, orders of service etc. Don’t forget what I mentioned earlier though! Stick to the budget!

Flowers

Decide whether you want real flowers or flowers that you can keep forever. Fresh flowers can be very expensive and you have to buy them all at once whereas if you buy the plastic variety you can buy them a bit at a time and keep them all safe for the wedding. A florist will still arrange them for you if you request it and if you buy the best variety they do look very real.

A good suggestion is to get in contact with a couple who are getting married on the same day as you to suggest sharing the cost of the flowers for the church/venue.

Wedding Rings

Choose and order your wedding rings but remember to be sized properly by the jeweler because they will be able to provide you with a better assessment of how much room you need to move inside the ring.

The last thing you want is to order the rings and then have to send them back because they’re too small or too big.

Wedding Cake

Now is the time to order the cake. You may need to bring smelling salts and a large handheld fan because the groom is likely to collapse at the sight of the price. As he awakes from his slumber he will be uttering the words: “but it’s a cake, it’s just a cake.” Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

He may make silly suggestions and try to convince you that a cake from Sainsbury’s would be much better and at times he may be so underhand as to point out that less on the cake means more on the dress. It never works out that way because the saving ends up paying for the car insurance or something equally stupid so don’t back down!

You’ll also need to check with the reception venue whether or not you need to supply a cake knife and stand. They’re not particularly expensive unless you want one that is solid gold or hand painted by fairies.

Wedding Night

It’s wise to book a hotel for the wedding night unless you plan to go off on your honeymoon immediately. It’s great to have a break after the wedding and just spend some time together as newlyweds.

Wedding List

If you’re really cheeky you can make your own wedding lists and place them with different stores and you can even combine wedding lists with an online list from many different websites.

Personally I was never as brave as to write out a gift list and just smiled through the three hundred irons I had bought for me.

Wedding Invites

Everyone I know recommends that wedding invitations are sent out six weeks before the wedding. I would say they need to be sent out at least three months before the wedding! This gives everyone involved the chance to rearrange any existing plans, avoid people having existing plans and gives everyone the chance to save up for something to wear and a gift.

Giving as much notice as possible will be appreciated by all involved and if they have any time free they may offer to help you with the arrangements. This may sound like something small but when you need to be in two places at once, having someone pick up something for you can be really helpful. People are more likely to do this for you if they’ve made their own arrangements weeks in advance.

Keepsakes

It’s always nice to buy little keepsakes for the bridesmaids, ushers, best man and anyone else you have in your wedding party. It lets them know that you’re grateful for their hard work and gives them something to remember the event with.

The presents don’t have to be anything flashy, for the girls a little silver pendant is a nice idea as they can wear them n the day too.

For the Best man some cuff links would be nice. The idea is just to say thanks, not to break the bank. They’re there because they love you and wanted to be a part of it all, not because they want expensive gifts.

Who Sits Where

Draw up the seating plan and write out the place settings. For this job you will need:

a.       Paper/card

b.      Scissors

c.       Glue

d.      Coffee

e.       Cigarettes. If you don’t smoke now you will by the end of this.

At every wedding there are always those few couples/individuals that don’t get on with each other. Personally I opted to invite one set t the ceremony and the other to the reception, explaining to each couple that if they weren’t so childish they could come to both but as they are it’s their fault and I wasn’t going to ruin my day for them.

If this isn’t an option for you, you will most definitely require the above items and possibly a noose if it all gets too much.

Other Bits and Pieces

You need to arrange the hairdresser, beautician, makeup artist and the nail technician as soon as you can and you should have a couple of practice runs before the big day.

The last thing you want to happen is to pick out a hairstyle and then realize that your hair is too short/thin/thick etc. You also need to play around with colors for the makeup and try out different nail designs. If you’re having a tan applied you will want to see how much you can get away with having put on before you start to look like a tangerine. Wouldn’t that be fun the day before your wedding?

The most important thing is to relax and let everything take its course. Your family and friends will be there to pick up the pieces if everything goes wrong so don’t even give it a second thought. Enjoy your wedding and congratulations!