Horrific Wedding

December 5, 2011 by redhairedlioness  
Published in Weddings

A story with horror movie titles all throughout.

I was a teenage zombie when I decided to get married to Jennifer onhalloween. I couldn’t wait to touch Jennifer’s body during our zombie honeymoon and I knew she couldn’t wait to be the bride of Chucky.

The lost boys were my groomsmen who all wore the shining pocket watches I gave them. Jennifer’s brides maids all wore sleek pitch black dresses and they looked more like they were ready for prom night in stead of a wedding which is just what was planned. My bride looked stunning walking down the aisle and all off a sudden I saw a wedding crasher. I knew all of the guests but one. That guest was the uninvited. I thought it wouldn’t be a very big deal so I didn’t say anything. Besides, the only thing that really mattered was Jennifer. I wanted to make her happy and that started with me not saying anything on the day we had been dreaming of together.

We went through the ceremony and my best man handed me the ring to put on her finger after she put one on mine. The ceremony was over and it was time for the reception. I looked at Jennifer and said, “Well, Pumpkinhead….we’re finally hitched.” We ran down the aisle and went outside. We hopped in our car and headed to our destination but then I took a wrong turn and she thought we were forever lost. I turned the car around though and we were on our way to our final destination.

The reception was held in an abandoned asylum. Since I’m a white zombieand she’s a leprechaun we thought it would be the perfect spot for our halloween wedding reception. Everyone thought they’d see a poltergeist or two but never even saw anything slither around and we took that as a goodomen.  The reception lasted from dusk til dawn  and we ran out as everyone threw rice at us.

We stepped into the limo and were able to smell the driver from all the way back where we sat.  What a reeker!  I had idle hands though and thought as soon as we’re on our honeymoon the better.  I looked over and saw an evil bong and grabbed it.  I looked and noticed that it was completely ready to use.  I lit it and inhaled deeply then passed it to Jennifer.  The driver looked in his rearview  mirror and slammed the brakes.  ”What are doing?  That’s mine!”   Jennifer just put the bong down right away then the driver put the car into drive again.  Man, what a psycho!

We went to the dark water and boarded onto the ghost ship.  Right  away Jennifer spotted a couple of spiders and she’s got really bad arachnaphobia.  So bad that it not only scares her but breaks her out into hives.  We got off of the ship right away and headed to the nearest hotel for our honeymoon.  The hotel was perfect.  It was right up our alley.  At Motel Hell.

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