Full Frills Wedding for Under $6,000

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Getting married can easily become the most expensive day of your life.  In the Northeast, weddings average over $26,000 including the cost of the ceremony, reception and gown.  Considering that the cost of the average home in the same region is about $260,000, that means that you have just spent your down payment for a home on one day.  But this is supposed to be the most important day of our life, the day we have dreamed about since we got our first Barbie Doll and watched Prince Charming awake Sleeping Beauty from her long nap.  So, should you abandone your dreams for your big day?  Heavens no, just realize that you are not Sleeping Beauty.  In fact, if you are getting married and need to stay on a budget, sleeping is something you will do little of.  Especially if you follow my advice, because you will have only a few months to put together a fabulous wedding with all of the frills and minus the huge price tag.

First, let me stress that the Wedding Industry is just that – an industry.  You are their livelihood.  Their kill.  They will pounce upon you like a cat on a mouse as soon as your cheery little, newly engaged self enters their lair.  Be on guard.  Be prepared.  Know what you want and be ready and willing to say “no” to what you want and walk out of the lair, onto something a little cheaper (you’ll be amazed at how many of  these vendor cats come chasing after you with some new “promotion”).  But more on bargaining in the next article.  This article is The Plan.

I was engaged in February and married in June of the same year.  I had a church wedding with a four person choir, a soloist, an organist and a string trio.  I arrived in a limo, had beautiful flowers and eight attendants with beautiful flowers.    There was a photographer and a videographer at both the church and the reception and I love the pictures they took.  The reception was at a beautiful country club, sit down meal with open bar and a butlered hors douevre reception before it.  There was a Disc Jockey, dancing, beautiful three tiered cake and keepsakes for all 115 guests.  My wedding cost more than $6,000 – but it was well under $20,000.  In the months and years since my wedding, I’ve been asked to help a number of friends and relatives on tight budgets duplicate, replicate and outdo my nuptials and to beat my budget.  I’ve done it.  It can be done for $6,000.

The caveat is that my plan should work in most Mid Atlantic metropolitan regions.  New York City and Los Angeles are probably going to go over this budget, but the advice should still be followed to keep your numbers low.  If you live in a small town or in the midwest, I expect that your numbers should be well under the $6,000 figure. 

Step 1:   Choosing the Date

This may sound silly but it is the most important part of the plan.  NO LONG ENGAGEMENTS.  I planned my wedding in four months and every where I went vendors were cutting me deals, sometimes before I even walked in the door.  Why?  Because if they were not booked yet within four months of the wedding date they were not going to be booked.  If you are planning a wedding taking place a year in advance, vendors have plenty of time to book another client, gig or what not if you do not hire them.  Off season dates will always get you a discount, but I was married in the second most popular wedding month (June) and because I planned “last minute” I got great deals.  With that being said, if you can choose a date that is “off season”, preferably in January, February or March, you may save as much as 50% off of reception sites, photographers and music.

Decide whether or not you want the ceremony to take place in a Church or Synagogue; or at the reception location.  If you go with the House of Worship you must start there and set a date. 

Step 2:  Choosing the Reception Site

Start looking online. There are several event planning websites to help you locate suitable reception locations.  I liked www.partyspace.com.  I could search venues by location and size and pull up their calendar to see if they had availability on the day of my ceremony.  There were a few locations that I liked, including the one I chose,  that were not listed on that site.  But, I was able to make a list of about nine potential reception sites that had availability on my wedding date.  I called each and set up times – all on the same Saturday – to meet with their catering manager and tour their site.  I asked them each to fax or email their pricing in advance.  (All but 2 did this.  Obviously, I  knew at that point that those 2 sites would most likely not be where I held my reception)  Knowing that they were competing with other reception facilities for a date just four months away, a few of them told me in advance that they would discount their rates by 20%.  That was without me even bargaining.

Plan an afternoon reception.  Sunday’s are generally less expensive then Saturdays.  This will save you money not only with the reception site;  but also the music, photographer and florist.  They all charge a premium for Saturday and Friday evenings.  In fact, if like me you are marrying in a popular month, these vendors may be booked for the evening but be willing and anxious to make a few more bucks with an afternoon gig.  But most importantly, the biggest expense is the reception food.  Lunch costs a lot less than dinner.  You can still party all night, but you’ll party at the home of friends or family or a local bar.  And by that time it will be on someone else’s dime.

Step 3:  Planning the reception

Most reception sites will put together pricing based upon a five hour reception.  You do not need five hours.  Ask them to reprice the reception at four hours.  With a properly choreographed reception, four hours is all that you need.  Surprisingly, sit down meals should be less expensive then buffets or serving stations.  The reason is that more food is needed for buffets and serving stations because people tend to over serve themselves.  With a sit down meal, the portions are pre determined.  Once you decide upon a sit down meal, choose only one selection.  Chicken dishes tend to be tolerated by most guests.  Chicken dishes also cost less than fish and steak.  When the reception site or caterer prices you a per person cost of the meal, they are basing the price in part on the higher priced menu item.  By just choosing one item you are eliminating the higher cost.  Also, with a four hour reception, you do not have the time for waiters to come around take orders. 

Ask for a limited bar menu.  Examples include wine, beer and champaign or even adding a martini drink to this mix.  Again, this cuts down considerably on your per person cost.

Step 3:  Flowers

Do not tell the florist you need wedding flowers.  The prices will increase.  You can do this by starting with the planning for reception decorations.  Ask what the florist can offer you at $25 dollars for a table decoration for an event.  Do not be snobby.   Carnations tinted to match your wedding colors make a beautiful centerpiece, and your guests can actually see over top of this display and talk to one another.  After you have nailed that price down, you can let the florist know that you are planning a wedding.  But be firm.  You set the price.  Tell them that you do not want to spend more than $25 on each attendants bouquet.  Again, carnations and baby’s breath look lovely.  The grooms men’s boutonnieres and the Mother’s corsages can also be carnations.  They are a very versatile flower and hold up well.  You can splurge a little on your bouquet, but don’t go overboard.  The bouquet will get heavy and you will wish you had scaled back.  As for the head table at your reception, let that table be decorated by your and the attendant’s bouquets.

As for the Church, ask if there are any other weddings on the same day.  If so, contact the other bride and offer to split the cost of the church flowers.  If  there are no other weddings at the Church on that day, consider going to AC Moore or Michael’s Crafts for beautifully arranged silk flower displays.  You can set them up at the Church the night before and save on the florist’s “set up” fees.  And, you can use them in your new home later on, or give them to your attendants as thank you gifts.  These stores always have 40% and 50% coupons, too, so make sure to clip those coupons and use them.

Step 4:  Music

Forget the band.  Chances are they won’t know all of the songs that you want to have played at your wedding anyway.  A good Disc Jockey will know how to MC your reception.  Be ready to shop around and be ready to just plain hang up on some of them.  Some of these disc jockey’s must have been Used Car salesmen previously, because they really go in for the hard sell.   Do not pay more than $800 for the disc jockey.  Just don’t.  That is your walk away (or hang up) limit.

Step 5:  The Photographer

Buy their cheapest, most limited package.  Family and friends will take so many pictures, you will have plenty.  And, ask for the proofs to be in hand, not online.  Many photographers will actually give you the option to buy all of your proofs at a discount several months after your wedding.  Again, you will be saving money by booking the gig last minute and holding the wedding in the afternoon.  If the photographer has availability, they will most likely NOT get another gig for that time slot.  Ask for every discount available and let them know you have another appointment with another photographer. 

Step 6:  The Invitations

Clip more of those 40% and 50% coupons for AC Moore and Michael’s.  They have a limited but lovely selection of wedding invitations – complete with rsvp cards – for very reasonable prices.  They are extremely easy to print out on your computer and most computers have nice fonts that look like engraving.  A box of 50 wedding invitations at Michael’s should run you less than $30 when you use your coupon.  Professionally printed invitations will run you well over $400 or more for that same amount.  You will also find lots of wedding do dahs such as guest trinkets and table decorations at the craft stores.  All good ideas if the florists in your area refuse to follow this plan.

Step 7:  The Cake

No fondant.  Fondant is the icing used by many bakery’s for elaborate wedding cakes designs.  It is so expensive, often running into the thousands for a large cake,  and it really does not taste good.  Do not pay more than $3 or $4 per slice for the wedding cake.  If you are in the Philadelphia area I recommend Clay’s Bakery in Berwyn or Sweats For You Cakes by Jenna (multi county).  Sweats For You Cakes will even do sugar free for the diabetics in your wedding party.

Step 8:  The Transportation

Any car can get you to the Church on time.  If you insist on something special, you have once again put yourself in the driver’s seat by planning an afternoon wedding within a couple of months of your contacting the limo company.  But please consider a car service.  A car service will have a large Lincoln or Cadillac at a lower price than the full limosine.  Another option, morbid as it may seem, is to contact Funeral Parlors.  Many Funeral Parlors have their own limosines and can be hired at a much lower rate than a Limosine Company will charge. And don’t have the driver sit around all day.  Dismiss them after they deliver you from Church to Reception.  Have a taxi take you home from the reception.  Otherwise,  you will end up paying a couple of hundred dollars an hour for the driver to relax while you are busy enjoying your reception.

Step 9:  The Dress

A catering manager at a very exclusive Philadelphia Country Club told me that over half of the brides whose receptions were held at said club actually bought their wedding gown at David’s Bridal.  Admittedly, these are not the most well made gowns, but you are only wearing the dress once.  And, unlike most bridal salons where each dress is only in a sample size and the sales woman has to hold part of the dress to you, at David’s you actually try the dress on in your size and get to see how it actually looks on you without a human appendage stuck to your back, holding your dress together.  There are few wedding dresses at David’s Bridal that are more than $500, and none of the veils are over $200.  They have sales and coupons and just go and try on everything.  You will be surprised how many women will laugh and admit (brag) that they too went to lowly David’s and found their dream wedding dress.

This article walked you through the bare bones of The Plan.  In a follow up article I will discuss bargaining strategies, prices and inexpensive add ons in more details.