Are You The Father of The Bride? Here’s What You Need to Know

July 22, 2013 by Gary Davis  
Published in Weddings

That’s right, I’m a "Know-it-all."

This is an actual account from my best friend who has a daughter…I can empathize.

I am standing spellbound after the announcement that she is going to be married. Dolls, soccer balls and pony tails have given way to a woman; it is still hard to accept. Even though I knew it was inevitable, it is hard to give that wonderful kid up. The quick wit and quick smile are going to be missed.

I know, I am gaining a son, however, it’s hard not to remember that joke I recently heard. You know the one. It is about a father who is asked how he feels about giving away his daughter at the wedding. His response is that it is akin to giving away a Stradivarius Violin to a gorilla. I remember laughing very hard at that story. This day, it doesn’t seem as clever.

My first job is supporting her. Her feelings come first. She is absolutely glowing with happiness and excitement. This is where her wedding begins, and, I want every memory she ever has to be as perfect as I can make it.

We know all to well where she wants her wedding. It is something her mother and her have been discussing forever. The size of the wedding and the dresses are all taken care of by my wife. My job is to bankroll the wedding. It consists of a hall, church, and, catering. Tuxes need to be reserved for everyone. My daughter has made a special request that I take care of every guy’s tuxedo. I agree to pay the money.

The groom’s parents are supposed to, by tradition; invite my wife and me to dinner. They don’t comply. My daughter wants to have dinner with both sets of parents so we make the offer and they accept.

My wife and I discuss the wedding present. I’m beginning to toy with the idea of a second mortgage, but, it doesn’t come to that; it looks like we can pull it off. My and I decide to offer to pay for a modest honeymoon and give the newlyweds some cash, or, give them a very nice honeymoon and no cash. We tell them we will leave it up to them.

It must be remembered that both my daughter and her intended are part-time workers and full-time students. If I tried to counsel them to wait, my daughter wouldn’t listen. She knows I was unemployed when my wife and I got married, and, we’ve been married 34 years.

It turns out that her fiance’s parents don’t have much money, so, once again, my daughter intervenes and asks us to pay for the rehearsal dinner. It’s either that, or, let the kids foot the bill, so, once again, we agree.

It is interesting. I don’t feel like I’ve been “used”. I feel lucky we were in a position to help my daughter. She has been a person who puts others first; I want her to be happy.

My job is to support her; to be open and approachable; to make sure that her wedding is something that gives her unending joy. It is a privilege.

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