Another Disastrous Wedding Proposal

September 27, 2012 by Steven West  
Published in Weddings

A young man proposes marriage to his girlfriend. His proposal ends up being a disaster.

I was rehearsing for the big moment.  I wanted everything to be just right.  I knocked on the door and saw my beloved answer the doorbell.  I was ready.

“Dearest love, I want to ask you a question.  Please don’t say anything until I am through.  I have known you for over two years.  I have heard your laughter.  I have seen your tears.  I have felt your highs, and  I have stood by your lows.  I have watched you pick at your face to remove those nasty pimples.  I have listened to you snore as loud as a freight train. I have almost fainted a number of times because of your bad breath.  I have felt my sore toes as you have danced upon my feet during a New Years Eve Party.  I have listened to your mother-in-law complain about my job, my looks, and my lifestyle until I was blue in the face.  Yes, I have suffered.  Oh Lord, I have suffered.  But none of that matters.  I am in love.  I want you to be my headstone upon my tomb.  I want you to melt my candle at the end of a romantic night.  I want you to say yes.  I am proposing to you.  Will you be my sperm whale, I mean my wife?” 

As I finished my proposal, I noticed that the door was being slammed into my face.  I think that my beloved was trying to send a message.  Now what could that be?

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One Response to “Another Disastrous Wedding Proposal”
  1. johnmariow Says:


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