For most Jamaican women motherhood is not always a planned phenomena. I embraced Motherhood with fear and shy optimism. I knew from the day I saw my wide eyed wonderful babe that my life will never be the same and she has brought many blessings to my life since her birth.
What will hold a Jamaican man in these times is a woman who leads an independent life. A woman who is ambitious and making her own money. Men fancy women who are progressive and can bring something substantial to the table. You wont get much attention or laurels from a man if you have a track record of getting pregnant as a man pulls down his pants.
He prefers to go to the club with his friends than with you. It is not as fun when you are there because they have to be censoring their arguments and frolicking since they do not want to compromise your relationship. Clubbing is their time to unwind and have fun. It does not mean (according to them) it is an opportunity to cheat or find a prospective cheating partner. They are not hunting in packs but simply unwinding with friends while gawking ogling and wining women who are not their partners. They claim that they are just partying and that it doesn’t mean anything and women should not be tight strung about men going clubbing with their male friends.
Some men purported that there are women who will misinterpret his "taking Slow" as a sign that he was weak or an imbecile. They claim that women no longer appreciate the good things or rather men in life! Women use good men and chase bad boys!
Women complain about the adulterous and serial monogamy culture of Jamaican men. Women find it frustrating that men refuse to commit to them in spite of the numerous challenges they overcome to form a profound relationship and the ideal assets that the female brings to the table.
Why is it hard to get your Jamaican man to commit to you?
It does not matter how many children a woman has, how little she will contribute to the upliftment of his life, how much involvement with her will jeopardizes his marriage or livelihood, and he is willing to overlook that simple for a roll in the hay.
They will keep an illegitimate child knowing full well that the child is not theirs simply because the woman looks good and the sex is great.
Instead like most Jamaican young men, he is content with adding his baby to the litter without making any contributions. He is contented with sleeping with the woman and the three children on the one bed. The room is overcrowded, cramp and provides little privacy for the couple.
He comes back to reinvestigate and while he waits for the next new girlfriend that will fit the script. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what John needs from the relationship, it is just that he needs to realize that his woman has different priorities. Their value system is completely different and therefore what he thinks is repugnant, she considers fun and normative.
This is a non relationship and it should be treated as such. Do not commit your life and invest your emotions in a married man because you are doomed to get hurt since he is already committed to someone else. Some married men do have egg shell empty marriages and their sweethearts are like their illicit second wives whom they love more than their legal spouse but you and I both know that in jamaica such fairytales are few and far in between.
Not everything that a woman does is an invitation to have sex. Why do men think that if we smile with him, it means we want to have sex with him? Men should cease assuming that women are like the women that they see in the media who often seem aroused and ready for sex. Women in the real world are not that indiscriminate and free thinking when it comes to sex. Sex for many women is not a light issue.