Premenstrual Shopping: Funny Retail Choices Fueled by Your Hormones!
This is a humorous look at the little known condition I have named premenstrual shopping. Have you ever returned from the mall with something you feel totally disturbed by the next day? Maybe you are suffer from this condition as well.
Like most women, I love to go shopping and treat myself to a new handbag, shoes, beauty products or make-up. Shopping can be an effective form of therapy in its loosest term and a great distraction from the stresses and pressures that you have accumulated from your working week.
From time to time, I have come home from a mammoth retail trip with a bag full of shopping only to find myself detesting what I have bought when I examine my purchases the very next day. It took years to work out the pattern of my behaviour and then to my horror, I realised that I suffer from PMS (Premenstrual shopping).
It appears that there are several days in my lunar or should I say loony cycle that I really shouldn’t be allowed out in public with my credit card. My brain seems to trick me into buying the most bizarre shades of eye shadow and unflattering clothing as a result of what I can only put down to an unearthly surge of evil hormones!
The worst case of PMS that I can recall was the day that I bought myself a pair of banana yellow tapered cotton trousers. I have to point out that this was not in the 1980s where such a delightful purchase would have been the envy of many. I remember as I tried them on in the changing rooms that I believed I had found the fashion equivalent to the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Wow! They felt great, they looked great and I was hot!
Premenstrual shopping is a serious condition whereby you wake up the next morning, take a look at what you have bought the day before and stare in horror at the object or garment. As I stared at my banana yellow trousers that very next morning, I almost felt like I had been drugged and evilly persuaded to do something against my will.
The item coming a close second in the PMS chart has to be the all in one body, cheek and nail bronzer. They must have seen me coming at the promo stand with that hormonal PMS glint in my eye. Like a lamb to the slaughter, the saleswoman proceeded to demonstrate her wonderful product – polishing me up like a treacled turkey and proudly showing me my new look in the hand mirror. “Look!” She said, “You can even use it to bronze your nails!”
I parted with my money, and it wasn’t a cheap product, and happily skipped away thinking I had the answer to the worlds beauty needs all wrapped up!
A few days later, it had sunk in that actually I had been out of my tiny mind to buy this little pot of bronzer. For starters, it was several shades darker than my natural colour and as for the claim of bronzing your nails; I naturally came to my senses and saw that this was an insane suggestion.
Premenstrual shopping is a little known condition that has cost me a fortune over the years but luckily it has been an experience rich in laughter as I have found myself in recovery! Shopping these days is only carried out when I know I am unlikely to be struck by the PMS and make a rational decision in the mall!