How to Act Like The Perfect Husband in a Lingerie Store
Necessary suggestions for all males if you’re shopping this holiday season!
It’s bad enough tracking your wife down in a women’s department store at the mall, carefully avoiding the plus-size section so as not to give the impression that you’re actually shopping for yourself. Therefore, finding her in a panty and bra store presents all kinds of additional logistical problems.
Yes, by most individuals a panty and bra store is known as a women’s lingerie store, but it’s decorated like Hugh Hefner’s motorcycle room. Part of you wants to just find your wife and leave, but another part wants to appreciate the fabulous talent on display. Let me guess which part will win out.
So you want to get some quality time in this lingerie store, but you’d rather not get maced or slapped upside of the head. Here are a few simple suggestions to help you enjoy the scenery.
… actually walk into the store. Try to avoid standing out front, fogging up the window display with your nose pressed against the glass.
… pretend to look around for your wife as soon as you walk in, bringing your left hand to your face to flash your wedding band. This will emit matrimonial vibes to the other shoppers and give you ample opportunity to check out the giant posters that adorn the walls.
… ask a salesperson if your wife is in a dressing room, rather than squatting down in front of each door to see if you can recognize her by her naked ankles.
… sit perfectly still in the chair by the dressing room and wait for your wife to emerge. Keep your glance downward and your hands a safe distance from your lap.
… touch, fondle, sniff or. … giggle like a schoolgirl.
… use the word “panty” under any circumstances.
… ask if they sell anything edible.
By following these simple suggestions will ensure you qualify as the perfect husband.
Happy Holiday Shopping!