The Bra That Doubles as a Face Mask – for $29.99; What a Deal?

October 22, 2011 by Norm Schneider  
Published in Clothing

The patented device comes in handy when you need to cover more than your chest.

The U.S. Patent Office must have over its long history come across some very strange applications for patents.  One that might win the top prize for strangeness might be the patent given for an invention called the Emergency Bra.

Now, when danger strikes – like a nuclear event, giant dust storm, fires, smoke or other incident that warrants your protecting your lungs – just convert your brassiere from its standard function into a face mask.  Best yet, for obvious reasons, one bra equals two face masks.

Inventors are very … shall we say, inventive … but you have to wonder what was going on when the inventors of the Emergency Bra came up with their handy little idea.  It raises, pardon the pun, all sorts of questions such as who decides to grab the bra and initiate the conversion process into the face mask?

Plurality of Detachable Cup Sections?

According to the patent application description the Emergency Bra is a “a garment device convertible to one or more face masks wherein the garment device has a plurality of detachable cup sections.”  Now that description is bound to be a turn on, right?  “Each of the cup sections has a filter device, an inner portion positionable adjacent to the inner area of the user’s chest, and an outer portion positionable adjacent to the outer area of the user’s chest.” Are we explaining the obvious here?

“The garment device has at least one securing device detach-ably coupling the inner portions of the cup sections to one another, and the garment device has at least one other securing device attached to the outer portion of at least one of the cup sections. This other securing device is operable to: (a) detach-ably couple the outer portions of the cup regions to one another; and (b) for each one of the cup sections, attach the outer portion of said cup region to the inner portion of said cup region after said cup region is detached from the other cup region, thereby converting the garment device to a plurality of face masks.”  Can you repeat that?  The folks at the Patent Office must have had their tongues firmly in their cheeks when they wrote this.

What all that means is that when smoke or dust descends on you, and a friend, you grab the bra and stick it on your face.  I suppose since the smoke or dust will be so thick during this episode, no one will notice what you are wearing.

Two Masks For The Price of One

The inventors of the Emergency Bra say its primary function is that of a conventional bra. But, in case of emergency, it can be quickly and easily converted into two face masks without removing any clothes (where’s the fun in that?). In case of emergency, where no specialized respiratory devices are available, it can decrease the inhalation of harmful airborne particles. Because the Emergency Bra masks can be securely fixed to the head, it frees a survivor’s hands to keep balance while running and removing objects on the way out of danger. In certain situations, by providing the wearer with a sense of security and protection, the Emergency Bra can reduce the chance of panic attack.  Of course, if anyone sees you wearing the device it could actually increase panic, especially among men.

The inventors say that the Emergency Bra does not interfere with its everyday practicality and durability.  Of course, if you have to wear the device every day you might consider moving permanently to another location.

Interested in buying the device?  It costs a mere $29.99.  Just the perfect holiday gift for the person who has everything.  Quite a stocking-stuffer, don’t you think?

If you think this is all a fantasy, you can check it out for yourself at ebbra.com.

Click here for more articles by The Writin’ Cowboy.

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4 Responses to “The Bra That Doubles as a Face Mask – for $29.99; What a Deal?”
  1. mphsglo Says:

    The title alone warranted a click to see what is really going on. If I pay $30 for a bra, there is no emergency big enough for me to take it apart. LOL I think I’ll stick with the regular face masks. I think most are a few dollars. :)

  2. Margaret Boseroy Says:

    Forgive me if I sound biased, but this has the feel of a Japanese invention; especially the way the directions are written. And what are men supposed to do in case of the emergency? I guess they’ll have to stick real close to their female friends…

  3. dazzlejazz Says:

    Surely this is only half finished?
    The straps could double as tourniquets in the event that both your legs get blown off, the back of the bra could be used for ammo and why didn’t they put two emergency flashlights in the front of each cup??

    (he he! loved the photo – makes me want to go and buy one)

  4. iva75cpb Says:

    Interesting invention. Hopefully it is as useful as it’s claimed to be.


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