Twenty Lies to Tell Your Boyfriend

August 18, 2009 by Steven West  
Published in Relationships

Humorous list of lies to tell you boyfriend.

Do you ever lie to your boyfriend? This is a fair question to ask since your boyfriend may be lying to you. Here are twenty lies to tell your boyfriend to keep him honest:

  1. You are the only man for me. Translation: If you are unfaithful, I’ll dump you in a minute.
  2. You look so masculine in your shorts. Translation: Where did you buy those awful looking shorts?
  3. You look so sexy with your cute little beard. Translation: You better shave that monstrosity in the morning.
  4.  I love your new car. Translation: Where did you get that pile of junk? Did you buy it at the Lemon factory?
  5. Let’s make love tonight. Translation: Like that’s really going to happen.
  6. I love the way you kiss. Translation: My dog kisses better than you.
  7. You sure know how to dance. Translation: Step on my feet one more time and I’ll clobber you with my purse.
  8. Do you have a little cold? Translation: Stay away from me. God you are so contagious.
  9. I’m really going to miss you. Hurry back. Translation: Take a one way ticket to the North Pole.
  10. Don’t worry about the spill on my dress. It’s really nothing at all. Translation: You moron. This dress cost me a fortune. Wait until I accidentally spill coffee on your suit.
  11. I just love your smile. Translation: You are in serious need of dental work.
  12. You have such a wonderful smell. Translation: Did you just release some gas?
  13. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have such a great guy. Translation: I hope that nobody notices that I’m going out with you.
  14. You give me goosebumps. Translation: Are you related to Dracula?
  15. That was a delicious meal. Translation: I hope that I don’t get food poisoning.
  16. We have so much in common. Translation: We both really can’t stand each other.
  17. That was a hilarious movie. Translation: I had a nice nap. Now what was that movie about?
  18. These are the most beautiful flowers in the world. Translation: Did you buy them at a thrift shop? The roses are beginning to wilt.
  19. I just love this box of chocolates. Translation: How many times have I told you that I’m on a diet? You can take this box of chocolates and go stuff yourself.
  20. I love you. I love you. I love you. Translation: Where did I go wrong? Why did I have to get involved with Mr. Loser? Are you ever going to find a job?
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