Twelve Reasons Why You Allow Your Man to Cheat on You

June 25, 2009 by Angelita DeBois  
Published in Relationships

A hard-hitting look at your contribution to a bad relationship. Are you ready to be honest with yourself?

Many moons ago, I wrote an article called “10 Signs Your Man is Cheating” which has since become an internet sensation. I had no idea that there were so many bad relationships out there. After reading some of the comments, I started to think about not just the signs of cheating but also the reasons “why” a seemingly smart woman would accept that kind of behavior. I’m about to put in front of you a rather harsh mirror. Are you woman enough to see the signs in your behavior that have cheaters attracted to you? I know what you’re thinking; how can my behavior facilitate his cheating? Read on and I’ll explain.

Your man will only do things to you that you allow him to do.

There should be very clear boundaries in a relationship. Whenever you give up minor ground, you risk giving up some major ground too. Everything starts small. Did he break early promises? Disrespect you? Each inch you give in to becomes, over time, a mile. I know what you’re thinking; shouldn’t I be flexible? NO. Think about it: would HE be flexible if you behaved the way he has to you? I didn’t think so.

You have very low self-esteem.
If you don’t think highly of yourself, there’s isn’t a chance in hell that someone else will fill that void. The less you think of yourself, the less someone will think of you. And who really wants to be faithful to someone with low self esteem?

You think bad relationship behavior is normal.
This is a sad but true fact. If all the relationships you have ever experienced have been fodder for “Maury” than it’s no wonder you continue the same messed up cycle. I’ve heard women say “at least he doesn’t hit me with a closed fist”. That is not an attribute, that’s a cop-out.

You are attracted to “Bad Boys”.
You love the danger, the excitement of a “Bad Boy”. I once had a friend with this problem. She always wondered why the “Bad Boy” in her life treated her bad. It was because you can’t expect a “Bad Boy” to be “Prince Charming”. And if you think you can change him to fit your needs than you are in for a long, disappointing road of heartache and pain; but you already knew that.

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2 Responses to “Twelve Reasons Why You Allow Your Man to Cheat on You”
  1. carly321 Says:

    I have just started goin out with my boyfriend.. he says he really likes me + i feel the same way with him. He holds my hands infront of his mates and gets on the same way.. but in the past he has cheated on his ex girlfriends. He has told me he has changed and wouldnt cheat on me. Though my friends tell me not to belive what a we lad says because they only tell u what u want to hear. And it makes me upset and a little depressed.I have said to him beofre not to mess me around and he has explained hes changed.. though i dont want to get into a deep relationship just to get hurt can someone please give me a little advice on what to do + what to say to him please?

  2. ray Says:

    i agree with everything said, i have been with my partner since 16 years old im now 28, he has cheated a good few times in the past, i found text messages from other women an yet i let him stay with me, we have 2 children but when the weekend comes he is always down the pub, he promises to be back early afternoon but never does, when i ring its ignored! when he does eventually roll in its always im so sorry i got carried away you no i love you i wont do it again, i have told him many times i feel like complete shit and his actions really make me feel worthless, also i find it really selfish on our children. weekends should be spent as a family at the park, cinema,bowling with the kids!! i dont no how to put an end to it without upsetting my kids please help


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