Twelve Reasons Why You Allow Your Man to Cheat on You

Many moons ago, I wrote an article called “10 Signs Your Man is Cheating” which has since become an internet sensation. I had no idea that there were so many bad relationships out there. After reading some of the comments, I started to think about not just the signs of cheating but also the reasons “why” a seemingly smart woman would accept that kind of behavior. I’m about to put in front of you a rather harsh mirror. Are you woman enough to see the signs in your behavior that have cheaters attracted to you? I know what you’re thinking; how can my behavior facilitate his cheating? Read on and I’ll explain.

Your man will only do things to you that you allow him to do.

There should be very clear boundaries in a relationship. Whenever you give up minor ground, you risk giving up some major ground too. Everything starts small. Did he break early promises? Disrespect you? Each inch you give in to becomes, over time, a mile. I know what you’re thinking; shouldn’t I be flexible? NO. Think about it: would HE be flexible if you behaved the way he has to you? I didn’t think so.

You have very low self-esteem.
If you don’t think highly of yourself, there’s isn’t a chance in hell that someone else will fill that void. The less you think of yourself, the less someone will think of you. And who really wants to be faithful to someone with low self esteem?

You think bad relationship behavior is normal.
This is a sad but true fact. If all the relationships you have ever experienced have been fodder for “Maury” than it’s no wonder you continue the same messed up cycle. I’ve heard women say “at least he doesn’t hit me with a closed fist”. That is not an attribute, that’s a cop-out.

You are attracted to “Bad Boys”.
You love the danger, the excitement of a “Bad Boy”. I once had a friend with this problem. She always wondered why the “Bad Boy” in her life treated her bad. It was because you can’t expect a “Bad Boy” to be “Prince Charming”. And if you think you can change him to fit your needs than you are in for a long, disappointing road of heartache and pain; but you already knew that.

You cheat.
Do your relationships overlap? Do you “shop” for a new man before you let the old one go? Yeah, that’s cheating, honey.

You like drama.
He might cheat, but deep down, you like that he does. Sounds crazy, I know. I can’t tell you how many readers have left long comments about all the details of their cheating man and at the end say that they are staying with him because they love him. Let’s be honest with ourselves, ladies. You can’t complain about someone else’s behavior unless you are prepared to do something about it.

You have never met a “Real Man”.
If all your life you’ve been around dogs, you wouldn’t know a cat if it sat on your head. It’s the same with the “Dogs” you’ve been dealing with. You have long ago set the bar so low, only snakes and other low life meet your meager standards.

You are naïve.
I can’t say this enough: Love doesn’t hurt. I don’t just mean physically, I also mean emotionally. It’s great when a man tells us he loves us but we shouldn’t take everything a man says at just face value. Actions always speak louder than words. How can someone be in love with you if he cheats on you?

You let your emotions make important decisions.
Ladies, it’s not always prudent to just follow your heart. That’s the stuff of fairy tales. We live in the real world. Romance is real nice but if you are reading this, the romance has died a long time ago.

You can’t stand to be alone.
This is tough because I still suffer from this myself at times. However, even though I feel this way from time to time, I’m never desperate enough to lower my standards to allow someone into my life who doesn’t meet my basic standards. I don’t suffer cheaters, liars and bums of any kind. I would rather be a crazy, lonely old woman with cats before I’d allow myself to be disrespected. Even though I don’t like being lonely, I hate being disrespected a heck of a lot more.

You don’t like other women.
Where are your female friends? When I hear a woman say she doesn’t like other women, I hear a woman who basically doesn’t like herself.

You don’t like men.
If you secretly hate men, let me tell you, it’s not really a secret. You may never say it out loud or even think about it in words…but it’s still there. That’s why you deal with cheaters. You expect ALL men to be cheaters and treat you like dirt.

You may disagree with what I’m putting out there (that’s what the comments section is for). If you want to know “why” your man is cheating on you, I’m here to tell you that the “why” doesn’t matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. You can blame the other woman, circumstances, a solar eclipse, the stock market…but it still wouldn’t matter. What matters more is what you are going to do about it.