The Distance Between Us

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Relationships develop over time.  They are brought together by love and common connections between two individuals.  But there are those unique relationships that are come together under unique situations.  With the recent improvements and widespread usage of the Internet and email, people are getting more connected with each other.  They are no longer relying on the usually dating scenes such as clubs, churches, and other social scenes. Instead they are utilizing the World Wide Web to meet people that span across the world.  People are finding that they can meet that special someone just by networking via the internet.

Distance relationships are unique in their own right.  People develop relationships with people in hopes that they will bring about a long term commitment and/or relationship.  They divulge pertinent information about one another and build something special.  The stories of people meeting across the internet and communicating via emails and webcams are numerous.  Some stories have a happy ending while others meet with disappointment.  Needless to say these relationships still bloom daily across the world.

What makes these relationships work for some?  What causes these relationships to develop into lifelong partnerships regardless of the distance factor?  Better yet what makes a couple remain together when distance is the factor that keeps them apart?  Let’s take an opportunity to see what makes these relationships work.

As I worked in the athletic department at a local university, I noticed that many of the football coaches that were hired had wives that did not reside in the same city with them.  Many of these coaches were accustomed to moving around and following their next best coaching positions.  In the meantime their wives remained in whatever city they called home and managed a whole other life there.  It was amazing how they kept things together with the distance between them.  I didn’t quite grasp the concept because I couldn’t imagine only spending time with my significant other on the weekends and/or holidays.  It was something that I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around.

It wasn’t until I found myself involved in a long distance relationship that I realized just how interesting these relationships can be.  You can’t necessarily explain how the relationship developed but I do know that overtime the relationship became a bit tedious to maintain.  Collegiate relationships are the worst because there is always someone new to meet when you travel from college to college.  There will always be that someone who will think it’s a good idea to try it to see where it goes.  But most times, they don’t last long because the two of you live two different lives in two different places.  But there were the select few that managed to survive the distance and maintain their respective relationships until they could close the distance between them.

The most interesting relationships that I have seen develop are those that were born strictly from the internet.  There had never been any personal contact, their interactions developed strictly from internet contact.  These relationships progress with emails, instant messages, webcams and even snail mail.  With these relationships, people have to schedule or arrange meetings either at a central location or decide where they will meet.  I have been a part of this situation.  I met with a young man who resided in Detroit, Michigan.  We communicated for months before deciding to actually meet face-to-face.  Upon meeting and spending some time together with one another, I soon discovered that we were not the match we portrayed to be.  Instead we were not a match at all.  He turned out to be an asshole live and in color.  He was much nicer as long as we resided in two different states.  He was quickly forgotten the day I boarded my plane.

Needless to say, long distance relationships are work.  Either they work or they don’t.  Honestly I think it depends on where the two people are in their lives.  For older individuals who are okay with their spouses or mates residing in other states and visiting on occasion.  Some people have invested that much trust into their relationships that they can handle these arrangements.  But younger couples tend to struggle with the distance because they require more companionship.  Distance with a younger couple can become a strain on the relationship and it can either make or break the situation.  It just depends on how much the individuals involved are willing to commit to the relationship.

Distance between Us

the distance between us lingers continuously
i constantly long for your loving touch
i envision the love making that will shared once we’re together
it’s just that the distance between us lasts for what seems like an eternity
i know that this is merely a temporary situation
but sadly it’s more than i can handle
yet you remind of your undying commitment to what we have
the distance between us lingers routinely
but i am confident that the love between us grows
keeping us tied together and wound around each other
too close to unbind, too bound to be untied
i can’t wait until the distance is no more
because then it will be our love that lingers continuously
it will be us that will live together harmoniously
forever and always