The Biggest Love Myth You Shouldn’t Fall for
Romance is in the air and you know that this time you’ve met the love of your life. But how long before this relationship goes the same as all the rest?
Famous songs and stories about love tell us all kinds of daft stuff about what love means. For example ”never having to say you’re sorry”, ”you are my world”, ”love is blind”…Movies, books and magazines go on and on about romantic dreams that we all believe we can have if only we met the right person.
Trouble is, all this brainwashing persuades many of us to have completely unrealistic expectations from our dates, which can only lead to big disappointments when we perceive yet again that we’ve failed to meet The One.
Healthy relationships aren’t built on some fairy tale ideal but on being able to work out the daily tedium and hassle of life without falling out. A world away from Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella.
Sandy is struggling with a dilemma many of us experience after being in a relationship for a few months: ”We’ve been together for nearly a year, and I love my boyfriend dearly, but I just don’t have that in love feeling any more. I just don’t know how to get that spark back.”
A lot of people will identify with her lack of fulfilment with her partner. What Sandy has to get to grips with is that unfortunately she bought into the myth that says we have all should continue to have that intense, butterflies and party poppers feeling that happens in the early days of a romance, into infinity.
People who believe life should always be like that with a partner will jump from one person to another all their lives – or stay with one person but be intensely unhappy and even become bitter as life goes on. Not only do they resent their partner for not giving them the ”in love feelings” they crave, they are convinced something is very wrong with their relationship.
So they hop over to another and another and yes, another, but always end up feeling the same way about their ”other half”.
Change Your Expectations
Only when Sandy accepts that people do fight and fall out, they do experience boredom and frustration and no one stays in the ”honeymoon phase” forever, will she be able to relax and be satisfied by the love surrounding her in her relationship.
Couples in long term relationships don’t spend every waking moment together (some will say the secret to their success is not spending much time together at all!) and certainly have periods where they don’t even like each other very much.
There are even biological reasons why you feel differently after a few months of being together and things start to ‘’settle down”. Nature means you to feel calmer and more secure, and rooted in reality. Embrace it rather than fighting it.