Signs That You are Not Girlfriend Material

August 28, 2008 by Joshua Miguel  
Published in Relationships

When a guy realizes that the girl he is dating is not “The One”, he does not say it upfront to her face. Instead, he shows it by avoiding her calls, by pretending to be busy, and through other so called insensitive ways.

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When a guy meets an attractive gal, he usually asks her number and asks her for a date. The first few dates will be fun, candle light dinner, walk in the beach, etc. This is what we call the “getting to know each other stage”. However, there are situations wherein after a few dates the guy will start to fade away. He doesn’t call you as often, he is always busy with something every time you will ask him out and he never returns your call. Girl, if you are already experiencing this, trust me, the guy is not in to you.

I admit it, guys are sometimes insensitive. Okay, okay, guys are most of the times insensitive. The reason why we are insensitive is because we “avoid being sensitive”. Got it? Okay, what I mean is guys are not as frank as girls when it comes to emotional issues. Girls love saying “I love you, I miss you, and I care for you, blah, blah, blah…” Guys rarely say these things; we only say it once or twice or during special occasions. This is because guys are not comfortable in “saying it” but we are more comfortable on “showing it”.

When a guy realizes that the girl he is dating is not “The One”, he does not say it upfront to her face. Instead, he shows it by avoiding her calls, by pretending to be busy, and through other so called insensitive ways. This is the male species. Period.

Now girls, since you are the sensitive species, you must be on the look-out of the signs mentioned above when dating a guy. This is to avoid being hurt later on. To help you further understand the male species, let me summarized the lookout signs that guys consider when dating a girl.

  • When you act like his mother. Guys find it cute if a girl they are dating has motherly qualities – caring and lovable. But if a girl is acting more like his mother rather than being motherly, expect the guy will not call you after your first date.
  • When you love to analyze him. Being analytical is a good skill if you are in a corporate world. But guys hate it when a girl keeps on analyzing him or when you keep on analyzing his life, his actions, the way he dress, the way he talks, etc. When you do this, a guy feels that you are tearing his skin open. He feels that you are always testing him. He interprets this as if you look lowly of him. Being analytical in your first few dates is a mortal sin.
  • When you are so critical. If you are analytical, you are most likely critical. As mentioned earlier, guys do not like being looked down. If you feel that a guy has unfavorable manners, do not criticize him. Instead, say it in a non-offensive way. Again, criticism has no room in this getting-to-know stage.
  • When you are acting as if you own him. You do not own him 100%. Certain percentage of him is shared with friends, co-workers, relatives, parents and other people close to him. You only get a percentage, don’t be selfish. Guys usually get scared if girls act this way, they feel as if they are wearing a dog leash.
  • When you are high maintenance. Have you ever seen a couple wherein the guy is so handsome while his girl is quite out of tune? Guys are being accused of being physically-oriented when choosing their lady. But this is not always true. Guys also look at the attitude of the girl, not just the physical aspects. Most guys prefer the simple, low-maintenance type of lady. Guys do not like the too-emotional, too-sensitive, too-analytical, and too-critical ladies because they are harder to maintain. Guys feel that they will use up more energy pampering petty sentiments and responding to criticisms if ever they will hook up with these types of girls. I guess this is also applicable to the ladies. If you are given a choice between a low and high maintenance guy, I’m sure majority of you will choose the low maintenance – simple guy, am I right? 
  • When you have a strong conviction that man and woman are equal. This is a philosophy that scares most guys. Men and women are not made equal. Regardless of gender, no two people are the same. This is what we call individual differences. Men have limitations. As such, stop expecting too much from him. Do not compare your being sensible to his irrationality. Or your open-mindedness to his impervious behavior. You are not equal.                            
  • When you consider that all men are cheaters. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If you do not trust men, then what’s the point of dating? Both of you are just wasting your time. Heal first your trust issues before entering a new relationship. Men usually shy away on girls who are always suspicious on them.         
  • When you have low regard of yourself. Insecurity is one of the silent killers of a relationship. It is the engine of jealousy. If you have low self esteem, you are 99.9% possessive, mistrustful, suspicious, and watchful of your partner. These are the qualities that trigger men to press the escape button. Guys feel that they will lose their freedom when they end up with these types of gals. 

If you possess majority of these qualities, you know where you are heading.

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7 Responses to “Signs That You are Not Girlfriend Material”
  1. Glynis Smy Says:

    Thanks for the insight! good work Joshua

  2. CHAN LEE PENG Says:

    Nice article, Joshua!

  3. Eden Emersen Says:

    Very insightful, even for those of us who’re married. . . I’ll have to be less analytical about my husband’s actions.

  4. Cynthia Says:

    great article, but I will never become less of who I am for any man. It is ok to be independently minded and know that you deserve better than his selfishness can give you.

  5. Hamdani Amin Says:

    A good article. But I think most of the point sound very much generalist.

  6. Susan Says:

    I like the last one – when you have low regard of yourself. I suffer with low self esteem and have done everything to try to prove to myself that I AM WORTHY!!!! I even worked for 5 1/2 years to earn my Ph.D. The self esteem has certainly increased over the years, but I am still distrustful. However, I am a therapist. I hear so much, have seen so much….have been through a great deal as well. TRUST is a big step. Being able to take your heart out and put it in someone else\’s hands is a hard thing to do….so 2 choices – either keep it inside and not share it OR take the risk of someone shreading it……sounds cold. I do let it out but do tell myself every day that I am wonderful, beautiful, smart, and people should be happy to just be around me. If they choose not to be, (either by direct decision, or a hidden decision) that is their problem, RIGHT???? They have a problem then – not me. Cocky but I am a Leo.

    SECOND – I tell myself, \”just because you are dating this person does not mean you own them. They have a right to talk and be with whoever they wish just like I do.\” I talk to other guys, men come into my office and talk and laugh with me, I would have a beer with another guy, have friends of the opposite gender, etc. I can\’t freak out because he does the same.

    I do a lot of self talk to rationalize LIFE!!!! That is what helps me with the insecurity….but it is a life long learned behavior that began as a young child and is a constant battle of LOADS of self talk, thought stopping, rationalization, and self reflection (internalized). I DO NOT LET IT SHOW!!!!

  7. Pru Says:

    Actually I don’t want a “simple” guy. I want a man that takes care of his body and cares about his clothes, hair, etc. Now you might say I’m looking for a gay man or an egomaniac, but I KNOW men like this… sadly, they’re usually already taken by another strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman. :-/

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