More Signs That Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Love You

You love me.  You love me not.  You love me.  You love me…What the hell?  You don’t love me anymore.  Here are twelve new signs that your boyfriend doesn’t love you.

1.   Your boyfriend would rather kiss your new car than to kiss you on the lips.

2.   Your boyfriend gives you thorns instead of roses. 

3.   Your boyfriend plays the old hit “Classical Gas” on his butt. 

4.   Your boyfriend dates your best friend on the side.  You find out about it online.  He posts pictures of making out with your best friend on Twitter.  When you next see your boyfriend, you’re going to give him a big Twitter on his nose. Then you’re going to push him out of your place on his Facebook.

5.   Your boyfriend takes the plump pillows and leaves you with the crummy ones. He takes all the covers and snores like a train.  He also pushes you off the bed in the middle of the night.

6.   Your boyfriend writes a limerick that involves you.  It is not complimentary.  It rhymes big lips with fat hips. 

7.    Your boyfriend gives you a plastic ring as a sign of his affection.  He then uses your credit card to buy himself a Playstation 3.

8.    Your boyfriend buys you a pet dog.  You’re allergic to dogs.  He already knows that.  He calls the dog Mutt.  He’s twelve years old and likes to pee on your carpet.

9.   Your boyfriend takes you to a Bondage Club.  He says that the relationship lacks bonding together.  You are not amused.

10.  Your boyfriend gives you a high five whenever you ask him a question.  He pretends to listen to you as he picks his nose.

11.  Your boyfriend spends $100 of your money on sweets.  He knows that you are on a diet and can’t eat any of this stuff.

12.  Your boyfriend expects you to do all of his homework.  In return, he will take you out on a date at Burger King.