It’s a Date

Step 1: Decide which young lady you wish to date

She will probably be someone you find physically appealing-someone you know but not well enough. In choosing this girl, hopefully you will take into consideration more than just her looks and personality. Think also of her moral characteristics and her relationship to god. If she is lacking in both, sharply question your motives for dating her.

Step 2: What would  you like to do on your first date?

A first date should be an activity that is easily acceptable to someone whose likes and dislikes are unfamiliar to you and that allows you to talk and become better acquainted. The easiest date is to attend a movie, but watching a film leaves little opportunity to discuss topics that will help you to know each other.

Step 3: Where will the date take place?

If you want to have dinner at a restaurant, you will have to choose the place as well as the time. If you attend a sports event, the location and time have been selected for you.

Step 4: Get the facts.

Get the time, date, and place down path so that there will be no misunderstandings. Be prepared in advance. If the activity requires reservations, now is the time to purchase your tickets. If you do not have your own car, you must also arrange for transportation.

Step 5: Ask her.

This is the trickiest part of the process, because most of us fear rejection. Look for an opportunity to find her alone and when there will be no interruptions. Many guys find it easier to ask over the phone than in person.

When asking her, avoid such questions as “What are your plans for Saturday or Sunday night?” or “Do you like bowling or roller skating?” Her personal habits and schedule are none of your business at this point. By all means don’t say, “Hey, Linda, how about bumming around with me Saturday night?” And don’t be negative: ”You wouldn’t want to go out with me Saturday night, would you?” 

Perhaps the best way to ask would go something like this: “Linda, I’d really like to get together with you so we could get better acquainted. There’s a new Japanese restaurant I’ve just heard about that serves great, and i  thought maybe you’d like to go with me.” Act and sound as though you expect her to accept the invitation, and she will be more likely to.

You need not be afraid of her. She is just another human being like yourself. The big difference is that she’s female. Avoid talking too fast or being too pushy. Otherwise she will likely back off. If you mumble and act as though you don’t know what you are doing, you will turn her off, and she wont want to date someone like that.

Step 6: If she answers affirmatively, you have it made.

But avoid acting overly grateful, lest she wonder why you are so overjoyed about dating her. It will make her think that yo have never had a date before! After she accepts that date with you, gather your wits together and make sure you give necessary details she needs to know.

If she turns you down, try not to fall apart. Analyze what kind of No she gave. Did her tone and approach say, “No, and that’s final”? or did they say, “Due to circumstances beyond my control, I can’t go with you this time, but please ask me again”?

“No, and that’s final” will sound something like this: “Sorry about that, but I’m busy,” or “I just can’t work it into my schedule.” These responses mean that she doesn’t have time and isn’t interested in making the time.

Examples of “Due to circumtances beyond my control…” include: “I’m busy Thursday night, but i’d enjoy it some other time,” or “I’d enjoy going to that with you, but I’m committed to something else that night. How about another time?” If a gal suggest an alternative date, you know that she wants to go out with you.

IF A GAL TURNS A GUY DOWN WITH NO EXPLANATION, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO ASK WHY.

If  a gal turns you down with no explanation, forget about asking why. You have no right to that information just because you asked her for a date, and she does not have to respond. It would be out of place.

Step 7: If your self-esteem is still intact and you would still enjoy going out with someone, ask another girl.

But never let the word slip that she is second choice! Openness and honesty are good to a point, but this would hurt her feelings and likely leave you dateless again.