How to Make Your Man Stay Faithful: The Q-t Tips
Believe it or not, there are men out there who wouldn’t dream of sneaking off for a tryst with a willowy brunette. Here’s a guide to tracking them down.
Q is for Quality
A sadly debased word of late, quality has come to mean something you don’t have enough of (”quality time”), something which break down irreparably three days after the guarantee expires (”quality engineering”), or something tasteless (”export-quality beer”). In fact, the word is derived from the Latin quails, meaning “of what kind”, which doesn’t really get us that much further, does it? The thing about “quality” relationships is that you don’t know you’re in one. You don’t even think about it; it’s just there, as much a part of your life as you are yourself. Nobody ever cheats in a quality relationship. How to tell if you have one? If you spend any time at all thinking to yourself, “This is a real quality relationship, then it probably isn’t”. If, on the other hand, you haven’t bothered to read this article, because you think it’s irrelevant, then the chances are you’re in a quality relationship, even if it’s only with yourself.
R is for Religion
The truly religious, if their religion is one which espouses monogamy, are really quite nervous of God (see C) and don’t want to do anything to make Him cross. The trouble is, most of the things which apparently make God cross are fu to do, and the truly religious often hold the view that, if it’s fun, God won’t like it. In other words, although they are faithful, they are lousy in bed.
S is for Security
Yes, yes, it’s also for sex, but I’m writing this stuff. A man who is secure is a man who is faithful. It’s like happiness. And, while you’re at it, have another look at A.
T is for Transsexualism
Suppose you are living with a man who decides he wants to dress and behave as a woman. In the long term, this relationship is under serious threat and will probably not end in lifelong happiness and burial side by side.
In the transitional stages, however, your partner’s fidelity will take is a matter for some negotiation and indeed imagination, but you need to worry about that. After all, think back to how you felt the very first time that you are confronted by a dish of garlic snails.