How Much to Pay for Love?

September 25, 2008 by bdbutterfly  
Published in Relationships

Relationships, women and self respect.

How much are we prepared to pay for love? I don’t mean that literally, (although that’s also an option) I mean that we pay for love every day. We change ourselves, we sacrifice, we compromise, we give up things we love, and in a word we GIVE. So if we think about it, LOVE comes at a premium, hence my question, how much are we willing to pay for love?

I have been thinking a lot about this on account of my weird friends. I call them weird because if we take love and relationships out of the equation they would be some of the most intelligent, well-read and sensible people I know. Notice, however, that I clarify, if you take love out of the equation. I do that because in recent times I have seen the smartest people I know make some of the stupidest, most ridiculous, most absurd “payments” on account of love.

Don’t get me wrong I have, too, made horrible and unspeakable things for love but I believe that’s a normal stage of development. On that note I believe that in our “growing up” we’re all entitled to stupidities and senseless actions for love based on ignorance, lack of experience or even that lovely period of masoquism we all go through, which, by the way, we should all be over by the time we can legally drink.

So my question still stands, how much are we ready to pay for love? And, how long should we submit ourselves to the emotional taxation that implies? I wish these questions were easier to answer and easier to ask. The reality is I am so tiered of seeing so many intelligent, educated, beautiful and other wise fiercely passionate women, reduced to nothing more than crying and ranting little girls. I mean, where’s the self-respect? Where’s the dignity? Where are their mothers? This last question comes from the fact that I have a particular friend who has never been able to get a regular, normal, non-controlling man in her LIFE. So I ask you, shouldn’t somebody else (other than me) be telling her that she needs help?

I don’t think it’s a sin to make mistakes but I do think that, as women we should have love and respect for ourselves before we try to go out in the world to find someone else to love and respect us. I think our mothers should strive to teach us not only to be respectful of others when we’re children, but that we need to require respect from others at all times. I don’t thinks mothers should be alone in that, I think fathers should teach their daughters how real men behave towards women. I also think that we need to start taking responsibility for the messes we make of our lives. As women (not girls) we need to start recognizing patterns of abuse and controlling behaviors. We need to understand that love is not supposed to subtract from our lives, it’s supposed to add to it.

In conclusion if we are in a relationship that we have to be constantly justifying, one in which we constantly cry (not from joy) and one in which we find ourselves constantly giving up what and who we love, we should probably look for something better to do with our time.

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One Response to “How Much to Pay for Love?”
  1. Karma Says:

    Loved it!!!


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