When Your Best Friends Fight

October 26, 2011 by CamLowe  
Published in Friendship

You have two best friends who are now mad at each other. What now? Here are some healthy tips to maintaining a friendship with both.

I have two best friends.  Because I’m terrible at storytelling without using names, we’ll just pretend they are named Kelsey and Elly.  Elly liked this boy last year.  The only problem was, he liked Kelsey before her and then another girl before that and led each one of them on before proceeding to crush them.  Elly wouldn’t listen to our advice on the matter, so she got hurt just like the other two.  Now this year, Elly has started hanging out with this boy again.

Naturally, Kelsey and I are very concerned.  However, we aren’t all on the same dorm like we were last year, so we only hear bits and pieces of the truth and have to piece it together for ourselves.  This caused some tension.  Elly and I have worked out our misunderstandings, but Kelsey and Elly haven’t even tried to talk.  Then today, Kelsey accidentally sent an angry text about Elly to Elly instead of the person she was trying to send it to.

You can imagine how well their reconciliation is going as a result.

Being best friends with each of them, how am I supposed to react?  What can I possibly do to help them reconcile?  Here are some tips that you most likely won’t agree with, but try them anyway.

1. Don’t do anything.  It’s amazing how much stress you will alleviate in your life by not getting involved.  We’re all busy people.  I’m a college student dealing with mounds of homework and keeping up my GPA to maintain my scholarships, and other people reading this may have jobs and families to take care of.  We have enough on our plates!  Don’t add to it by throwing someone else’s drama into your life.

2.  Let the parties involved (your friends) know that you still love them and their friendship, but that you cannot take a position against either one of them.  Especially in this scenario (and most others if we get to the root of the problem), they just aren’t communicating.  If they did, this entire problem wouldn’t be an issue.  If Kelsey hadn’t been texting about Elly behind her back, there wouldn’t have been a hurtful text to make the situation worse.  The best thing you can do is realize that while neither party is totally at fault, they’re BOTH WRONG.  If they want to be childish, fine.  Don’t let them drag you down as well.

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