To Please Other People

I always hear other people say “I don’t care what other people say about me!” Actually, I also hear that from myself. It’s true that we simply can’t please everyone. But do you really believe you don’t care what people say about you, 100%? I don’t think so.

We do really care. Even without being aware of it, we spend some time trying to please other people. We wanted to win other people’s approval of what we do and sometimes of what we are. For me, there is nothing wrong with that as long as it won’t be the center of our life.

At some point it is important to please other people. But then again, it shouldn’t be overdone. It’s what makes us relate with each other. It is also important in building a bond or a relationship with someone. You try to please the person because you care for that person’s needs. If both parties think and do the same, there would be harmony. I’m not saying you should be hypocrite to please other people. I mean, to please a person is by simply exerting a little effort in making the person feel special, comfortable or at ease, and hopefully to make the person feel the need to reciprocate the same effort.  

Having a visitor is an obvious example for this. If you have some friends visiting your house, of course, you wouldn’t just say: “Hi, you’re all here. Thank you for coming over. Good bye.” Unless of course if you have some serious phobia with visitors. Normally, you would say: “Come on in. Coffee, anyone? Or tea. We also have juice in the ref, if you want. Just feel at home, guys, okay?” More than just a gesture of hospitality, it is also a means to please your visitors. Why? Simple, you care for them as much as you care for what they might think or say about you.

“How do you find the place? Do you like it here?” I overheard a guy asking his visitor, who is a foreigner. I smiled at myself because I am also guilty of doing the same thing. One time I was told by a friend: “You are so weird. You ask me that same question many times.” In this example, why should we care if a visitor, foreigner or not, feels good or not? Simple, we want to make sure that he feels okay; we want to please the person.