Relationship Perks

April 2, 2013 by Deepti Sharma  
Published in Friendship

Have you ever felt the complication of being in a situation of not being able to have the same feelings as the other person. Just a few thoughts on some perks. Something we all can relate to.

Relationships in today’s world, is like that feeling when you are standing on the edge of the cliff and ready to take a dive during cliff diving. It’s scary and risky as hell, but you know you want to do it. Why you ask? Simply because we are humans. We want to try things, do things, for which, we just want to experience how it feels like. Some relationship starts with two people, and turn into one soul. And then there are some that make life long enemies and worse, lead to death. But I am not going to get into those extremes, I just want to share my thoughts on situations, which happen even before something beautiful, or something that ends one’s life, occurs.

Here is one, which I am sure a lot of girls have gone through.

You are in the same class, taking the same courses. You guys meet, start to talk, and you guys share similar interests, and this meet turns into a beautiful friendship. You being a friendly person and a true friend to the other, your “signals” are read into something that you did not intend. Now this boy, is thinking that you are interested in him, and starts being forward. Tighter hugs, more smiling at your silly things, insisting on carrying your books to class, to name a few. You are caught off guard. You don’t know what to do. So you ignore it. Once, twice and a few more times, because you are a good friend and you expect him to stop on his own, after observing that you are uncomfortable. Does that happen? Nope! And after you have had enough, you tell them that, you do not feel the same way and don’t want to ruin the friendship.

Now this is where my perk about relationships begins. After you mention the lack of feeling for them, they can take it in two ways. One being, they understand and eventually and quietly try to work on as friends, as hard as it maybe for them. Two, they don’t take it nicely, and now try things, that you would not expect them to do. Now, with the second scenario, is where the issues of maturity and dealing with “crisis” comes in.

When they do not take it well, and now try to be more on your radar, always in your face, basically trying to convince you to accept them, is when you as their friend, does not know what to do. Even though you try to give them space to ease out of the emotions, but does not happen. This is where the complications begin. As a friend you cannot pull the plug and let them be on their own, never interact with them, and nor can’t you keep talking to them in the same ways as before, because again, you “signals” will be considered, as leading them on. Basically, you are doomed if you do and doomed if you don’t.

With this perk in mind, to all my females out there, just know one thing, once a guy makes the first move and you are absolutely thinking of him as a friend, not even a potential, make it clear right there and then. You being nice, in the end, ends up hurting a beautiful friendship. You would never want to be in double doomed situation, as I like to call it.

This is where I also would like to call upon my male readers, to educate me, and the female readers, as to how you guys differentiate between the “signals” of a potential interest, versus a girl who is just being friendly? To this day, I am unable to differentiate my own behavior as a flirt, or as a genuine friend, because I act the same way with every single person, very very friendly.

Hope you guys enjoyed this read. More relationship situations and tips coming up. Something we all can relate to. =) Share your experiences in the comments below of you have ever felt the same way as a girl and a similar way as a guy.

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