Keeping a Ex as a Friend? Why?

December 27, 2011 by Mrs Petra Carlisle  
Published in Friendship

Holiday seasons can be lonely times especially if you just went through a breakup. Many rethink or take back ex’s during these times. If they weren’t friends durung the relationship why do they deserve it after? Weren’t you already lonely?

The holiday season can be a lonely season for many.It makes people think about being alone and for some crazy reason humans will even want to be with people that abused and mistreated them to avoid loneliness.

I see many of you are going through issues with your ex’s. The main thing you have to remember when dealing with the pain is WHY they are ex’s. Why are you even contemplating allowing them as friends if you dont have children (under 18) with them? If they couldn’t be friends in a relationship why the hell would you want to be “friends” after? Friends dont mistreat friends.

YOU alone determine how people treat you. YOU alone determine your worth. Stop allowing people to control you. So what a ex send a hi, thank you or thinking of you. SO WHAT !!!

That is control, that is them trying to keep a foot in the door just in case where they are doesnt work out. You are now the stand by. Let it go..Let them go. You control your world and who you let in it. Allowing them to make you rethink what they did to you is giving them back control. It is allowing them to blame you for what happens.

I cant tell you what to do. But if you want better YOU have to know you deserve better. If you keep allowing those that mistreat you to remain in your life you alone are allowing someone to disrespect you, control you, blame you and abuse you.

It is your world..You determine your worth.

It is up to YOU!!!!!!!!

I know the holidays can be hard. Lonely and sad. But werent you all these with them?? Why are you even thinking of being with them again? WHY?…I cant baby you and say poor you..that would be enabling you…I can tell you yes it hurts, I have been there. Let it hurt for now. You will get past it. But do not allow the past to control your future, do not let someone to remain in your life that hurt and abused you.

You deserve better. It is better to be alone than with someone that makes you cry while you are with them. Your tears are part of grieving. It is natural. You will get past it as one does in a death. When the tears stop the strength develops so let them fall it is ok……It gets better..remember it is ok to reminisce just dont get stuck there..love you..appreciate you..do something for you…Learn to like spending time with you and those that really like you all over again

it is a hard time for so many. I use to keep ex’s as “friends”. Why would I want to keep someone in my life that mistreated me? I had to think hard. Then I realized that I was so accustomed to abuse and mistreatment from my childhood , that it what I was use to.

So NO…I looked back and said Petra are you crazy? You have no kids with them, why do they deserve your friendship? I cut them off. I ceased all communication and felt better. They didnt deserve my friendship. They werent my friends in the relationship and surely didnt deserve it afterwards. It left me free to trust, love and believe in me again. It left me free of guilt and blaming myself for thier feelings. I found out I deserved better.

Dig deep…Figure out why you are allowing it…that is when you can empower yourself. That is when you become free to love you…Dont let anyone blame you for anything. Let them own their own stuff.

So give yourself the greatest gift of all…

SELF..Self confidence..Self Respect..Self Esteem..Self Love…You are worth it !!!!

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