Why Men Don’t Get Serious with Desperate Women?

October 19, 2010 by CRYSTAL EVANS  
Published in Dating

Do they tell themselves that they can get a better mate therefore they don’t care if you up and leave? Are they constantly searching for an upgrade, reluctantly to settle or commit entirely to the person they are dating currently?

       I dated a man who was impressed with idea of dating a writer than with my true character.  He called me several time per day and sent numerous text messages. He was moving fast to consummate our relationship and wanted to see me every day.  He was obviously s mitten or infatuated and even though I was flattered by such a middle class attractive man taking a keen unswerving interest in me, I quickly fell out of love with the idea of being with him. Instead I found his behavior amusing and constant attention pathetic and annoying. I quickly lost interest and respect and like any true player, I began to show my disinterest by calling last minute to cancel dates and refusing to pick up his calls.

      I would listen to his outrage and protest left on my voice mall with amusement and disgust. I found his behavior childish and the little affection I felt for him fizzled. The last blow was when he asked me to move in with him and have a baby.

              I‘ve been wondering if that is the way men react when women act desperate. I was ashamed of myself when I remembered days in my youth when I would act desperate needy and express early infatuated affectionate in numerous text messages to my latest male attention.

         It’s not that I did not find my friend attractive and that he would not make an ideal partner, it is just that he lowered his value when he acts desperate and clingy.  Are men experiencing the feelings of disgust that I felt when my attractive friend was acting desperate and clingy ad we didn’t have sex.

            When a man gets older and wealthier his value goes up. Not just his perceptive value but also his self value; his opinion of how much he thinks he is worth.  He knows what he is worth and therefore won’t settle for less. Lately I have been dating a certain caliber of men and since I started publishing my self esteem went up a few notches and I now I have  a very high regard for myself and I am less ruffled or displaced by the transient men in my life.

             I am wondering if that is the way alpha males feel about themselves.

           Do they tell themselves that they can get a better mate therefore they don’t care if you up and leave? Are they constantly searching for an upgrade, reluctantly to settle or commit entirely to the person they are dating currently?

Is that the reason why they are turned off by desperate clingy women?

             How I feel about the men I am meeting; could that be the way alpha males’ grade women and treat them according to where she falls on the scale of importance in her head?

    Could the key to getting a man to pursue you be actually self improvement so that you have wider scope of options and your self confidence skyrockets?

What do you think?




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5 Responses to “Why Men Don’t Get Serious with Desperate Women?”
  1. Jimmy Shilaho Says:

    You are definitely right but I have a feeling that the title should have read something different.

  2. albert1jemi Says:

    great share

  3. LoveDoctor Says:

    Great article and I agree with all of your views. No matter how interesting a guy is once he becomes too persistent and clingy, it is not attractive. I am sure that guys feel the same when they suddenly lose interest in a woman. I wonder why some men can’t introduce us as their women instead of giving us a title. I totally understand what you mean. But yeah, don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. As far as alpha males, this is what I have always been attracted to or maybe these are the only types of men I have been exposed to living in Florida.

  4. Angela Says:

    This is a good article. It also reinforces something that I have learnt in recent years. Although you are referring to men, it could be a lesson for women also. We tend to lose our self-worth because of the ratio of men to women and for older women, our age. I have been desperate and clingy once or twice in the past – you know the phone calls, etc. I have changed with age because I have learnt that the more you take an interest in a man, the more he takes you for granted. It is good to have them wondering sometimes; it is also good to let them get the feeling that they are not your top choice. I met someone years ago and he took me out to dinner and he wanted to hold my hands over the table and later in the evening, he wanted me to know that he was in for a serious relationship and I was the one and wanted to be all cuddly. He also started to hounded me down on the phone and believe me I was turned off immediately. I just took him off my list.

  5. Angela Says:

    With regard to settling for less. The majority do look at your assets, position, etc., and whatever they think you have to offer them to suit their needs and desires. And a lot of people both men and woman tend to move on if they feel you cannot satisfy their needs. It is surely a rough scene to deal with. Unfortunately, most people don’t really see who they are and what they really represent and this is why there are so many unhappy relationships and divorces.

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