Why He Won’t Make You His Girlfriend
Wondering why he isn’t committing to you just yet? Here are four reasons that might be pushing him away.
You’ve cleared four dates, and maybe a couple of cocktails, dinners, movies, and bases along the way. But, he still can’t seem to give it up—commitment, that is. Before you come to conclusion that you may be dating a serial commitment-phobe, consider these things that could be making your guy pause… even if he’s really into you.
You’re Good Friends with His Ex
Navigating the tricky seas of steady dating may mean bumping into some shipwrecks of his past. The trickiest situation of all? If you’re good friends with his ex. “What sucked when I was dating one of my ex’s friends,” says Pippin, 26, “was that people around speculated that I was doing something really bad. But, in truth, I wasn’t.”
You’re Too High Maintenance
We hate to box you in, but “high maintenance” may be the perfect phrase to describe a certain type of girl you may be unwittingly channeling. “For me, being needy, clingy, insecure, and jealous all belong to the same spectrum,” says Paul, 27. These qualities only pop up after some serious face-time, and they may be enough to send a dude packing. Our advice? Keep things cool and let things go their own pace.
You’re Setting the Bar Too High
Bringing up the past and the future can prove to be a double-edged downer for any prospective boyfriend. He doesn’t just have to measure up to your ex, but he’s also got to see how he stacks up against Mr. Hypothetical. “Either this type of girl mentions her ex too much,” cautions Mach, 31, “or talks about his immensely high expectations for her next BF.” Whichever way you roll, it’s a hassle.
You Give Off Mixed Signals
Guys appreciate a good, honest upfront. Hesitation is one thing but indecision is another. Case in point? When you can’t decide between two guys. “During the early stages of my dating life, I was that guy,” relates Eric, 26. “There was a third party from her side. If fun is all you want, just say it, and don’t pity or give hope.”