Who Do We Fool But Ourselves

February 21, 2011 by tonyleather  
Published in Dating

When it comes to being a good partner, not just sexually, but in every way, might just mean being prepared to be completely honest.

Sometimes, if you are in a long-term relationship, you will say things you really do not think or mean, just to keep the peace, or reassure your partner about something, but you have to question, sometimes, how much more sensible it might be to actually genuinely tell it as you see it, even if the words you say are not liable to go down too well. If you are going to end up in the dog -house, let it be for the right reasons.

You know yourself, if your partner looks good in something they just bought to water, then hearing you say so can only reinforce the correctness of their decision in choosing that particular style or colour, but if they really look like an advertisement for the local burger joint, then it is hardly kind to tell them anything different, because they WILL notice you cringing, and pretending to be with anyone else but them, if you keep quiet and agree to go out with them in public.

Same apples to those of us whose partners are making genuine efforts to shed excess poundage. It is hardly encouragement for them, if skinny old you, who can eat horses and never gain an ounce, insists on keeping tubs of ice-cream in the freezer, chocolate bars in the fridge and other stuff they hardly dare look at, let alone eat, secreted, openly around the house. Sometimes, love and partnership involves the horrid reality of self denial, out of love for a partner more challenged, in a dietary sense, than you are.

Another awful thing to do is to say things you obviously do not believe, because you think it keeps you in the good books.  If the diet is not going well, it is cruel to tell them that they look slimmer anyway, because they do not, and they know it. Better to offer consolation in the form of a little loving, reassurances that this was but a blip in their quest, not to be taken too much to heart.

It still seems incredible to me that partners who always yell at one another, fight and fall out, without making up, and gradually get more and more resentful of their other halves should stay together at all. Life is, surely, far too short and precious to waste on trying to make the best of something that obviously has little going for it. Arguments are so destructive, while heated debate can be positively therapeutic. For heavens sake talk TO your partner, not AT them, and you’ll be amazed how much better the communication between you becomes.

Bottom line here has to be, that honesty is always the best policy, in relationships as in life, because, no matter how carefully you think you covered the bases, somewhere along the line, you get found out. Do not tell the one who shares your life that age isn’t taking a toll on their appearance, because they will know full well that it is. Say instead that age is adding a wonderful maturity to what was always an attractive face, and you will both feel good about it.  The white lie can be a necessary evil, at times, but use it sparingly, where the love of your life is concerned, and you will both know real contentment.

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3 Responses to “Who Do We Fool But Ourselves”
  1. aphodite Says:

    What a great thinking……..

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  2. rubielee Says:

    thats really true

  3. jemialbert Says:

    good share

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