When a Married Man Says He Loves You

January 11, 2010 by Carmel BRULEZ  
Published in Dating

Read on.

Firstly, if you are single  AND sensible you will not be wasting your time on dating a married man in the first place.  I know because I have been a relationship expert and life coach for many years and I have also been in the position of having married men claim they are madly in love with me in the hope of the obvious.  Dating a married man is full of disappointments and pain,  far more bad days than good, and if you are not in a relationship with him and in love with him it is a complete waste of time.  You are far better off putting less time and energy into a relationship with a single man and having him put far more effort into you.  You will get a lot more happiness that way.

But if you are friends with a married man or he is an acquaintance and he tells you he loves you this actually means that he lusts after you and hopes that if you believe he loves you that you will agree to have sex with you.  Maybe it is true that he believes that he loves you,  but if he truly loved you it would very much concern him that you would be wasting your time on a man who is spoken for and he would want you to be happy with a single man instead.  A married man who claims he loves you is usually just telling you what you want to hear so that he can get what he wants from you.  If he genuinely loves you he will be talking about and sorting out finding ways to be with you properly, not making excuses about the children.   For one thing if he does not love his wife then how come he carried on having a normal sex life with her and allowed them to end up with a baby?   A man who does not love his wife at all , or enjoy being with her, would lose interest in her sexually or make sure she does not get pregnant.  He would not do anything that means he has to stay with her if he was hoping and planning to leave her or end the relationship.

There are some rare exceptions where a married man genuinely does not love his wife and is somehow in a situation where he cannot leave, but even then he would not ask you to be his bit on the side, he would respect you too much and want you to be happy and realise that will not be enough for you or fair to you.  He might want to be friends and see how you are but he would not expect you to sacrifice your life so that his life is happier.

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