To Run or Not to Run, That is the Question

At long last,you have met the love of your life!just one hitch…he’s married!hmmm..what should you do? The right thing  to do is to whirl around and run away.But most gals will never do that. That is too easy,predictable and boring plus we will have  a sleepless night wondering “what if”?

So you decide to go on a harmless coffee date which is followed by a few drinks, then by dinner to finally end with a romp on the sofa later in your apartment (which truth be told underwent a thorough clean up the evening before). You are addicted before you know it. One date leads to another and in a few weeks you are in a “relationship”.

You are an adult and manager of your own life so all I like to do is point out the pros and cons. 

Pros

The Excitement

• The secret interludes in discreet hotels or in your apartment (when the unsuspecting room mate is away) at odd times of the day and night promise an adventure.

The sex- least I say more.

Cons

Frustration:

• Its been over 3 months and your friends and family are blissfully unaware of the relationship.You are dying to shout out the roof tops but have taken a vow of silence at your ‘beloved’ insistence.
• You cannot see or talk to him when you want.Especially over the Weekand, while the rest of the lovers strut around hand in hand,you are at your favorite spot in Starbucks cursing your luck!

Loneliness:

• You have had a hard day at work and desperately need a cuddle.Of course,there is the old faithful pillow to hold while you wallow in self-pity.
• Important occasions are spent with loyal friends and family members.Your man is no where to be seen.

Insecurity:

• Suddenly,you want to know all about the other woman i.e. the wife.You Google her and find out all you can about her existence – friends,family,shopping hot spots,hair dresser’s.You even decide to follow her. Before you know it, you have turned into a stalker.
• You grab every opportunity to scroll through messages and e-mails on your man’s black berry.

Emotional Roller Coaster

•  Mood swings have become a pre-dominant part of your personality .One minute,you are having a great night out,the next minute you turn broody.The couples around make you queasy.
• soon,you prefer staying home over the Weekand ,checking the email and phone every minute, in case, you will get a call or even better a date with your man. The outcome rules your mood.Ecstasy if he calls!Acute depression if not!

Social Outcast

• You start to avoid your girlfriends as you are wary to face their growing concerns.They ask too many question which you are not in the state of mind to share.Rest assured,a few good ones will stick around even if you scream murder .
• There are no potential single men asking you out nor are you interested.No one can match your man.

Low Self Image

• Sub- conciously,you begin comparing yourself to the ‘wife’.You bombard your man with questions like ‘Who looks better?Who is sexier?Who is the better person?.You have reached the lowest levels of confidence at this point in time.

Guilt  

• You cant help but feel guilty at times.Especially when you see your man’s wife and kids. The image keeps you awake at night.You realize the baselessness of the relationship.But do you have the courage to walk away? 

The right thing to do would have been to run the other way, the first instance.95% of married men are looking for a change due to boredom and monotany in their life.They will not leave their wives and children on a basis of an affair.

A piece of advice for the single gals! Please look for a wedding ring, the next time you come across a good looking man.If you catch sight of one then run for your life.Believe me,its not worth the hassle.You should always be the most important person in your life. The right man will love and respect you for that.