Three Questions Your Man Can’t Always Answer

How familiar is this? The two of you are peacefully relaxing and you pop a seemingly simple question to which he responds with a blank stare and a stuttering fragment of an answer. This reaction causes you to get irritated and before you know it both of you are hopping mad and fighting. Here are a few questions and solutions that can save you some unnecessary accusations and cold silences:

• Did you get the _____ from the grocery store? Don’t send your man out for food and supplies without clear and detailed instruction or you will regret it. The Carl’s Jr. “without us, some guys would starve” commercials, from a few years back, actually don’t stray too far from reality. A man will instinctively get only what is essential to his needs: breakfast-lunch-dinner and toilet paper. That leads to a 10 minute grocery store trip which concludes with a bounty of milk, cereal, obsolete vegetables, chicken wings, and maybe even some exotic microwaveable meals. The lesson here is to tell him exactly what is needed and how many. Be sure to be specific with brands and sizes. Details are the difference between a nice pleasant evening and an angry trip back to the store.

• So what did you think about _____ that we discussed last week? Last week’s conversation probably ended with you telling him to think about it and now you want to know what he came up with. Good luck. The truth is that if you expressed an important issue to him, then he put honest effort into the topic and had some valuable thoughts, however they all occurred either during or immediately after that first talk. It doesn’t matter if it was about home decor or next summer’s vacation, men don’t take the time to progressively ponder about any one subject for multiple days. The best way to avoid the pop quiz scenario is to either finish the conversation the same day or to progress it daily until it is resolved.

• Should I wear the ______ to the event on Friday? The big night on the town is coming up but you have no idea what to wear. The good news is that your man can relate and then some. Not only does he not know what he will wear but he won’t even think about it until about an hour before it’s time to go out.  The outfit you asked him about is hopefully one he has seen more than once within the last three months, or you will hear some version of the classic “yeah that one is perfect” line. He really does remember a lot of your outfits, especially the ones he bought for you, but hearing you describe them will not always jog his memory. Instead of painting him a mental picture, show him an actual one of you wearing the dress you want to wear or better yet take a trip to the closet and model some choices for him.

Don’t shy away from asking him what you want to know or what his opinion is. Just keep in mind whether or not he has enough tools to give you a thoughtful, solid response.