The Perfect Man

In today’s society, we as professional women always have goals. Some of us may aim to have a great job with equally nice pay, a wonderful car and some even wish that they were afforded the luxury of one day owning a “piece of the rock”. Some however, do not fall into this category of goal seeking, as even though they realize that these are all great things to own someday, some just wish to find the perfect man. You may ask yourself, if you are a man reading this, what is the definition and criteria of a perfect man. If you had to ask a woman to lend a definition, she may say that he must look incredibly handsome, possess a body of stone, a heart that is forgiving and for those days when she had a bad day, he must also be blessed with a sense of humor to make her laugh. The list, unfortunately for some, does not always end there, as it is a must that the man must have a stable job and not just any job – a great job. The reason why he must have a great job is for the mere reason that he must be able to be showed off to our friends and our family. So instead of finding a man that matches your needs, many women discriminate a man based on his professional status and instead seek to find wealth instead of happiness. My question to these women is how would you feel if a man only dated you because of where you worked or even lived? Would you still think that you were blessed to find him or would you thank God for allowing a man to love you because of your beauty or your personality?

At the end of a bad day when you need your man around and he is busy at work for the fourth time for the week, would you then fuss about him to your family and friends? I don’t think so, I think you would cuss him and want to know what he is really thinking and then when the paranoia hits in, you may wonder if he is truly at work. So who is to blame for him working late, you can probably start blaming his boss, then you can move on to him but when reality steps in you may find yourself in front of your mirror and maybe then you would realize that it was you. When I started to write this, I remembered the movie “Something New” which starred Sanaa Lanthan. She was a business woman with everything but the one thing she lacked was a good man in her life. She had been on blind dates but her work was always more important until her friends started hassling her to find a man. She met a good looking and I mean he was dam good looking; he could have probably made an iceberg melt if he stared at it hard enough. As fate would have it, the poor man did not realize that he had two things against him, he was white and he was a gardener – what we Bajans may call a “Landscape Technician”. Her friends of course disapproved of him, she was told that she could do so much better but my point is what did she have before? Our friends can sometimes be blessings from God and sometimes they can be Satan’s helpers because when they criticize who we should date, when we get lonely and need someone to talk to, they are nowhere to be found. In the end of the story, she had to put the feelings of her friends and family aside and come to the conclusion that he was her perfect man.

Please do not misinterpret me, I am not telling you to start looking at your gardener with a keen eye but I am saying that maybe many should bend the “hard and fast” rule which is used as a daily Bible. It is not written in stone anywhere, at least not that I am aware, that women need to find a man who has a great job. My take on it is once a man has the potential to make a life for himself and is willing to progress I am okay with it. I personally want a man who has ambition in life to become all that he can be so that I can be proud of him but more than anything he can be proud of himself. I remember a day I was late for work and the traffic was crawling, I was cursing the traffic and myself for leaving home so late. The mood quickly changed when I looked around and realized that a man was nearby mowing the lawn, he could have been a businessman with the day off or he could have been employed by the owner of the house to perform the chore but he looked good. He had a chain around his neck, I think I could have probably sketch him for you readers, I hope many of you are still reading this. The thought did cross my mind to roll down my windows some more and compliment him but the traffic moved. My point is that on that day I thanked God for showing me that a trip to work is not supposed to be stressful as it is the journey and the fun we experience in getting there. I think this should be the same rule in our lives, enjoy dating and instead of looking for perfection, strive to be happy. I have seen and talked to men who have many professions and I can honestly say that they all have potential from the man who paints houses for a living to the investment broker. We all attended the same school where we all graduated with a degree in “Life”, where a joke can be shared and enjoyed and a stranger can become our closest friend and perhaps even our lover.