The Four Biggest Dating Mistakes Guys Make

Does this sound like you? You’re a great woman. You click with a guy, see him for a while, but then, just when things are looking great, he disappears. Either he dumps you flat or withdraws into emotional unavailability, with a breakup as the inevitable result. What went wrong? You may tend to blame yourself, but this is unfair and counterproductive in emotional terms. Understanding the four mistakes that guys make when they meet Ms. Right can help you get a relationship on track, or at least feel better about a surprise breakup.

Mistake #1 – Seeking perfection in the relationship

So many guys want everything in a relationship to feel just right before they will commit. They want being with you to feel perfect all the time – every aspect of compatibility needs to be perfectly aligned or they want to bolt! Sad but true, a lot of men just don’t get that a mature person in an adult relationship is going to have to bridge any number of gaps in compatibility and breakdowns in perfect harmony. If you feel this vibe from your man, you can point out that things in life don’t always go perfectly, and relationships are not exempt from this phenomenon. Perhaps put it to him like this: “Is [name the issue] so bad that you want to drop the whole relationship?”

Mistake #2 – Looking over your shoulder

For a lot of guys, there is not thrill greater than the anticipation of the next woman who might come along. In some situations, it’s obvious, like when he flirts openly with your friends. In other cases, it’s more subtle… just a slight lack of passion or excitement about you. He may be wondering if he’s missing out on being with someone else. Here’s the deal: Guys need to get a grip and realize that a really satisfying relationship only happens when each partner commits to the other and gets emotionally exclusive. Of course, temptations arise, and there will be always be the mystery of what might have been… however, a mature guy will learn how to put those distractions in neutral and focus on you, the one woman he is meant to be with.

Mistake #3 – Chafing at feeling locked in

Why can’t I ride my motorcycle/play poker/go fishing/bowling/golfing? Why are we always hanging around with your friends? Does this sound familiar? Maybe your guy is chafing at feeling locked into the relationship pattern. He wants to be free to do what he wants. Ladies – if you want your guy to be happy, you should cut him some slack and let him do what he wants some of the time. If he’s overly stuck on this issue, though, he’s letting his fear of being boxed into the relationship poison his attitude and affect his entire view of what’s great about being with you.

Mistake #4 – Being too hung up on sex

You know you are great in bed, and no one can satisfy your man the way you do… Yet, he’s pulling away without giving you a reason. Perhaps he’s worried that the sex won’t always be so good. This is another form of relationship perfectionism. The truth is, the quality and quantity of your sex life will change over time. What most men don’t realize is that they are the ones who typically need less sex as time goes on. Again, becoming a mature man means accepting that the sun doesn’t rise and set in his pants. Sex is an important part – but just a part – of a full relationship. He needs to put it into perspective.

If you find that your man is overly hung up on one of these issues, and can’t get off it, he may not be the right guy for you. Or, he may be the right guy at the wrong time in his life. The right guy for you will be able to overcome these mistakes and move forward into a real relationship.