The Dating Process
December 28, 2008 by misssophia
Published in Dating
I am just opening up about some of my past experiences as a serial dater. More to come darlings!
I have a bit of a bad habit. I can’t keep a man!
What usually ends up happening is it just kind of fizzles out. Either I stop contacting Mr Hottie, or he stops contacting me. And I am never quite sure if it is me trying to play it cool, as I don’t want to come across too strong, or if it is him losing interest in me. OR vice versa.
Sometimes I just assume he has found a new girly to take his mind off me… Which has actually happened on occasion.
Are you still following?
OK.
I remember this one guy I started seeing a couple of years back (we’ll call him Mark); dark hair, blue eyes, cheeky grin… When my girlfriends and I first saw him we were pinching each other and whispering ‘I spotted him first’, ‘No he’s mine tonight!’ etc. Any ways, I won!!! And although it began as a bit of fun on a Saturday night, we did become quite close (to my surprise).
On our first date, I was completely under the impression that Mark wasn’t interested in me. I just thought he was slightly full of himself and loved the single life. He hardly called me, he didn’t text me, and he didn’t introduce me to his friends. So, I really fancied him! Whenever I phoned him, I got a little too nervous and was prone to chatting rubbish, and when we met I was always on guard. Oh yeah, then he moved to another country… But not before telling me how much he wanted me. Even now, he still keeps contact with me, and flies over just to see me.
I really was mistaken when I thought he didn’t want to be with me. Unfortunately, I’m not into him anymore.
Guess the result of that story is: I want what I can’t have.
Then there was Mr Love of My Life (let’s call him Jay). I would say I was seeing him on and off for about a year (and yes, he did coincide with Mark).
Oh, and he emigrated to a different country also!
Well, with Jay, all I can say is there were fireworks when we first kissed. I fancied him so much! Even now I still have dreams of him coming back to me.
But Jay is the guy that made me weary of all men. He also made me realise when you’re into someone, you’ll believe whatever you want to believe. I was told time and time again Jay was a player. He was stringing several girls along, we even knew about one another.
Yet I still thought I would be the one he ended up with.
One time, we arranged to meet up- I was out with my friends, and he was out with his. I remember calling him several times over wondering where he was as his friends were already at the bar. Eventually he turned up… With another girl! It was the most heartbreaking moment. And he acted as though nothing was wrong.
After that I stopped calling him, I was gutted! But oh, aren’t I the fool- I went back for more. Thank goodness Heart-breaker Jay moved away, because I would have never got out of that cycle.
I am now thankful and resentful towards Jay (as well as still slightly in love). He introduced me to my first Player. I am now aware of the signs, I am not ignorant to ‘the game’, and yet I still get caught up.
I am a serial dater. I want a boyfriend. I want a relationship.
But I am addicted to the ups and downs of the dating process.
There’s more to come. (Obviously!!!)
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December 28th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Well, what can I say? Sometimes its good to stay away from dating for a while. Even those times that someone catches your attention let things flow naturally. You will find that when you stop dating you view things with a more focused eye. Sometimes you will see right through the “smooth” types and the ones that might be looking for a quick 1 week companion or those that might be looking for something more durable. In order for you to develop that critical “eye” you must step away from the dating game . Watch others continue to do what they do. It also require you to be a little cold, if you will, with the males approaching you. I don’t mean rude, I mean , that you should be more apprehensive when giving your number and when agreeing to meet someone. Yes, I know it is a sacrifice, because sometimes you will meet those hotties that you want to keep in touch with , but it will be worth it, I promise you. You will quickly recognize those types looking for a quick fix and the others which are the real deal. After you learn that, it will be up to you whether you still like the ones looking for a relationship or the ones looking for a passing pleasure.
December 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Great work.
December 30th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
very colorful lovelife,somewhat similar to mine,lol,happy new year
January 1st, 2009 at 11:19 am
Hi Sophia, how are you?
I agree with Morgana, but I’d like to add… if you want a quality male, chances are you won’t find them in a bar or pub. Most of the guys that do the bar scene only want to hook up for casual sex. So, sure, you might get lucky and find a few that’ll stick around to see how things will turn out in the relationship department. But, for most, if they feel that they’re being held onto for more than just sex, the ones that don’t want a relationship will be gone in a couple of weeks. Finding a good relationship through the bar scene takes forever, and you’re not always guaranteed a quality relationship either. If you’re stuck on the bar scene though, don’t give in to his sex drive. Wait. Find a guy, date him for as long as it takes to figure out what he wants. If he just wants sex, and you find him attractive… go ahead, indulge yourself. Just don’t expect him to hang around long after. But, pay attention and ask the right questions, and if they are interested in a relationship, any man that wants a solid relatinship is willing to wait a month for sex. The right man will wait as long as it takes to prove to you that he doesn’t have sex on the brain and that he is worthy of your time and that he wants to be with you for other reasons. So, wait it out, don’t hand out freebies like chocolates, and make the man you want work for every taste. If you’re addicted to dating, the question is, can you go on dates with the same man for a year? My wife and I are still ‘dating’ as often as we can afford to.
Anyway, take care and good luck.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Well…?? as what you write…you seems to want one but you’re still into being in that trademark..
All I can say…right timing with a right man will come along..
As of now..stay cool, hot and available.
lolzzz…
Thanks for finding me…I will add u too.