My Real-life Realizations From Online Dating Sites

August 5, 2013 by Tikbalang  
Published in Dating

For an introvert, dating isn’t easy. On the average date, most people are expected to be outgoing, to think spontaneously, and to always have something worth saying from the get-go. A failure to have those three things on your first date can lead to a bad impression, increasing the chances of a second date being an impossibility.

For an introvert, dating isn’t easy. On the average date, most people are expected to be outgoing, to think spontaneously, and to always have something worth saying from the get-go. A failure to have those 3 things on your first date can lead to a bad impression, increasing the chances of a second date being an impossibility.

Using a dating site can be a stopgap solution for some folks to get to know new people and adapt to new situations. It can also be the perfect avenue to get a date or to find something more, if you play your cards right.

As a single guy who gave up speed dating, I’m now working on self-discovery and self-improvement. I still want to get to know people on my own terms though, so I maintain my dating profile online and talk to new people using a dating site I feel comfortable with.

While some might think this laughable, it has allowed me to realize a number of things about real-life dating I wouldn’t have been able to learn as easily otherwise. Regardless of what dating site you use, here are some realizations I’ve had from having my own profile on a dating site for a while.

Realization 1: Appearances matter

Whether it’s a professional meeting, a coffee date, or your dating profile, appearances matter. Some people may not particularly mind what they look like on a date, but their dates will likely want someone who takes care to be presentable. The meta-message here is that you care about yourself, or at least you care enough about someone else to care about yourself.

In a similar manner, what you say or don’t say on a dating profile is important. If you’re not willing to put in the effort to describe yourself on your profile, why should anyone put in the effort to send you a message?

The idea is that by being open about who you are, other people will learn more about you. Your words and profile pictures, therefore, create and shape the first impression people have of you.

Disabuse yourself of the notion that an online dating profile is the equivalent of a smorgasbord of potential dates who will message you because of rock hard abs or a bikini shot… well, to be fair, there will be people who will message you just because of those pictures, but that likely means they have other things in mind aside from dating.

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