Merry Go-dating Around

I have avoided this whole dating package since I was little and having to grow up surrounded by a dozen of testosterone-filled male where masculinity is not a show of character but a passage of air- I was brought up just like them. My mother didn’t mind that I was stripped of femininity, that I prefer playing with my brother’s toys, making friends with the bad boys in the neighborhood or in School, believe me when I say I get into fights more often than my brother ever did. I’m aware of what I am, all woman but strangely I disliked behaving like one- I prefer jamming with the boys over a bottle of beer with the faint music from a local rock band or maybe playing the latest RPG in the PlayStation etc. It is just that, whatever hobbies that will make me behave like a man, I hate being vulnerable like my friend used to say.

And so, like any rebellious teens I dropped out of college and ran away from home- only I didn’t get romantically involved with anyone, never dated in fact. Got me a job as a telemarketer, stayed at my Aunt’s house and later on rented a room, decent enough for two. I shoo off possible courtship and showed my best one-of-the-gang outlook, I was saved from the trouble, but my roommate’s vulgar relationship with the opposite sex; a kind of trouble one cannot escape from, recalling the experience gives me the headache. But thankfully to her I learned to manage my boyish mannerism and on the surface dressed me like a real woman for career sake. But during those years I help evaluating the men in her life, her search for true love or Mr. Right over and over again, I was dragged into it until I thought it was an infinite task. I’ve seen the worst a helpless search can do to a person, when you always let your shield down and in her case lose everything. You can’t imagine my horror when I woke up one early evening to find my friend and her supposedly ex bf butt naked on the dressing room, humping like deranged rabbits (sorry but that’s how they look like to me). My poor hamper got broken from their jumping around I guess. That was the last of my lengthy straw; it was not because of her promiscuous lifestyle that forced me to move out of the apartment but her lack of privacy and respect. After four years I came back to my parent’s house, I resigned working as a tech support in a semiconductor co. and now managing the family’s business.