Men’s Commitment Problems

Promise. Pledge. Obligation. These are qualities associated with commitment. Commitment is a word in which most men extract from their vocabulary. It requires long term planning, critical thinking, and communication beyond sports. These are also qualities that do not often have a great deal of success in a relationship. Why do mean have trouble committing?

There’s no simple explanation for why men have problems with committing in a relationship. Rather, it is a plethora of explanations depending on the particular situation. Each reason and how you can spot them ahead of time will be detailed in individual chapters.

An important point regarding these issues is that if you would learn the source of the commitment issues, then, they can be contained better. What are these problems? There are seventeen commitment problems:

The Problems

Loss of “Playa Card”

We like to have multiple women or at least the ability to go after them when we want. Albeit, the playa card. When marriage and/or commitment have been established, then, that playa card will be revoked.

The Lockdown Syndrome

This syndrome is known to only men. Some may think of it as a joke but to us it is a real medical syndrome. Lockdown is when you have to get permission to hang out with the fellas or go somewhere without the interrogation or clothes all over the driveway upon your return. Your woman may not verbally object if you go away from her without her approval, however, her attitude will tell you how she really feels.

Scared from other married men’s stories

When I hear other married me talk about being married or their lives while being married, it is 99% unpleasant. It is like they are being forced to do everything or the activities that they participate in together and speak of uninteresting events. These stories are usually told at work where they can only talk about certain topics. How many men actually tell how great the sex was with their co-workers or how she gave a very good massage? Probably none! These events are probably far and few between.

Mama’s Boy (Woman Perspective)

I spoke with some women regarding this topic and they have all expressed to me that they will never marry a mama’s boy. Mama’s boys have a tendency to pay more attention to their mother than their woman. Nothing that his significant other says out of her mouth will nothing compared to his mother.

He’s just not that into the woman

For whatever reason, he is not into her like she is into him. It could be attraction, personality, or the way she farts when she eats in the restaurant. We men do not have a set standard. It is either we like her or we do not.

Too dependent upon others

Can easily get the milk for free? Men like to have their cake and eat it too. What is the purpose of committing if she gives you the “cookie” without a commitment or at least the time she wants?

Already committed to someone else

If we have a problem committing to one woman, then, what makes you think we are going to commit to two?

Unprepared (Financially unstable)

We have to be financially stable to think about commitment. Our male egos play a big part into this one. If a man is struggling financially and can barely take care of himself after being laid off from his place of employment, then, he will not feel right in getting into a relationship. Most real men will want to hold their own and bring something if not more into a committed relationship.

No more freedom We men are extremely independent by nature. We like to make our own decisions and run our lives by our own rules. We want to do what we want when we want. But when a woman enters the picture, all the choices a guy simply used to take for granted, going out for a beer with his buddies, buying a big screen TV, playing golf on Saturday afternoon, suddenly have to be cleared with her first. And her answer is almost always, “No, we’re a couple now” (translation: “We’re going to do things my way”). Almost overnight, we find ourselves trapped, doing what she wants to do regardless of want or desires. Loss of space Guys like guy things, we need “guy space” for stuff like cars, tools and watching kick-ass action flicks. But women want to take over, to “female up” what used to be exclusive male territory with frilly drapes and paintings of flowers. In fact, they’re so committed to feminizing all the space around them that they quickly start forbidding us to have any guy stuff at all. So suddenly you find the bathroom buried in female products, your leather couch has been reupholstered in pastel paisley, and the spot where you kept your tools has blossomed into an indoor herb garden. One sex partner, forever We naturally crave sexual variety. When we commit, either in marriage or cohabitation, we willingly volunteer to cut ourselves off from any other sexual pursuits. Sexual boredom can set in, followed by a total lack of desire. For a lot of us, even guys who weren’t getting a lot of action anyway, this can be the scariest consequence of all. We’ve been burned, she’s a closet nag, she wants it all, and wait, it gets even worse

We’ve been burned before When we’ve been divorced and run through the wringer of the female-biased court system, many of us are reluctant (read “terrified”) to risk a second commitment. Nowadays, we aren’t exactly chomping at the bit to sign a contract legally allowing a woman to clean us out financially. Successful achievers, those of us who have built companies and high-powered careers from the ground up, are especially afraid of being forced to hand over all the fruits of our hard labor to a greedy female and may make the decision never to get involved in a serious relationship again. The emotional baggage Many women look at marriage through Cinderella eyes, for them, putting a ring on their fingers means that we will magically solve all their problems, from childhood issues with their fathers to huge shopping debts incurred on credit cards. Women often submerge their true personalities and agendas until the knot is tied, but when the truth comes out and then we find ourselves legally bound to a greedy, nagger, then it’s too late. Lack of compromise Commitment implies the ability to compromise, ideally a marriage should be a 50/50 partnership in which each half contributes and shares equally. But to a woman, “compromise” often means “do it my way or you’re cut off from sex.” So we are forced into surrendering to this sexual blackmail if we want to get any sex at all, and the result is a terrible loss of male power. Loss of free time Serious relationships suck up an enormous amount of time and energy, they can entirely take over our lives. The pressure is always on to do something, be it wine and dine her, interact with her family, remember her birthday, or pick her up from work. For some of us, all the bother just isn’t worth the effort. Not ready for it These days, there are fewer societal pressures to marry and we can weigh our options instead of just jumping directly from school into marriage. We can afford to wait for that perfect woman while we concentrate on getting our careers off the ground, save to buy a house, or actively play the field. Can’t trust a woman We learn pretty fast that many women can’t be trusted– they’re always looking to upgrade, to latch onto a man with more money, more status and more stuff to sex-ploit. Commitment to a relationship means putting your heart on the line, and none of us want a sharp stiletto heel spiking us in the back as our ex-girlfriend scrambles over us to get to the next guy. She applies pressure For a lot of women, commitment is the finish line for their adult lives. They want to get married and they want to do so now. So they exert increasing pressure on us to settle down, pressure that can cause us to pack up and leave.