Is Your Man Marriage Material?

October 17, 2007 by Paige Ryter  
Published in Dating

Before you say “I do”, look over this list to see if your man is good enough to be considered marriage
material.

Let’s say you’ve been dating a man for a while. How do you know if they’re marriage material or not? This article explores a few ways to know if they’re a Prince or a dud, and written from the woman’s point of view. I’ve observed many relationships in my lifetime and found some common things between the ones that survive and the ones that don’t. For the men, take notes…it may help you out some day. And for the women, you should be as good as the man in every one of these categories.

Does he manage his money?

Think about it. It may not mean much now that he spends money like water, but imagine if you have six kids and he wants to buy his toys instead of putting food on the table. If he blows money like water, kick him to the curb. If he hoards money and doesn’t share, then that’s a problem you either need to accept or deny. Hoarding money is almost as bad as blowing money, in some respects. It shows selfishness.

Does he treat you well?

I know…all men treat their women well, or they wouldn’t be dating the man. But think about it honestly, and put yourself outside the relationship for a moment (consider yourself someone looking at the two of you…what do they see?). Does he put you down in front of others, just to build himself up? Does he treat you like a lady and put you first in all his decisions? Or is he selfish, thinking of himself first? It does make a difference once you’re married. If he even has a hint of an anger problem or doesn’t respect you, kick him to the curb.

If you need him, is he there for you?

This is an odd one, but one I learned first-hand. I had to have surgery this year and couldn’t fend for myself because I could hardly walk. If that happened to you, would your beau help you without grumbling? Would he take off work to wait on you, put on bandages over nasty-looking wounds? And one from a friend of mine…would he give you an enema if you needed it? Honestly, would your mate care for you if something bad happened, or would he run? What if you needed other types of support, as in protective or emotional support? If you have any doubts about this, kick him to the curb.

Does he cheat on you?

If yes, don’t even ask questions. Kick him to the curb. If he’s not devoted to you in every respect, because your relationship is “just casual”, then the answer is no way. Don’t even give him the time of day but be done with this man. If he cheats on you now, what’s going to stop him if you marry him?

Does he have any type of addiction?

Gambling, sex, drugs, drinking…it doesn’t matter. It shows he has an addictive type of personality, and not worth your time. He won’t be able to shake it without help, and you won’t be as important as that addiction after you’re married for a few years. If he’s addicted to sex, it might be cute now, but trust me…when you’re nine months pregnant and can’t even fathom the thought of sex, he’s going to find it somewhere else.

Is he obsessive compulsive?

Do you want to be supportive for life? This is a condition that doesn’t go away over night and you may never measure up to their expectations. Consider getting him some help and if he refuses, kick him to the curb.

Does he like your family?

If not, kick him to the curb. Your family is part of your life and part of your past whether you like it or not.

Do they have goals in life?

If they don’t have goals when you’re dating, they’re not going to have them after you’re married.

Is he an introvert?

If you’re an introvert, too, then it’s not that much of a problem. But if you’re an extrovert and he’s an introvert (or vice versa), even though they say “opposites attract”, it’ll be frustrating when you want to go out to meet with people and he doesn’t.

Does he share you beliefs?

It doesn’t matter if it’s about religion, money or politics, having different beliefs does make for a tougher time when married. Which is right and which do you teach your children? Marriage is tough enough without adding a difference of beliefs to the mix.

Is he competitive with you?

Does he always try to get ahead of you, competing with you to have the last word or the best of something? If so, kick him to the curb. This shows major immaturity and not someone with whom you want to spend your life.

Is he materialistic?

If so, you don’t need the headache. It’s nice to have things in your life, but it shouldn’t be a competitive thing, to always have the best and everything.

Can you get along with his family?

This is important. No matter what the man is like, he’s going to go back to his roots and how he was raised. Get to know his family, if possible. He’ll probably look like his father when he gets older, but have the morals and beliefs of both parents. If his parents are divorced, then chances are high that he’ll also consider divorce.

Is he good looking?

If so, remember… other women think so, too, and you may feel the pressure to keep him around. There’s nothing wrong with a good-looking mate, but looks will fade. What’s important is what’s inside. That’s what will never change.

Discuss these issues with a potential mate. When dating, the pressure of commitment isn’t there, so it’s all a whirlwind of fun and excitement. Don’t base your decision on how much fun you have, because after you’re married comes the work. You have to decide if you can deal with living with this person for the rest of your life or not. Never go into a marriage thinking of divorce as even an option. If it is, don’t marry the guy in the first place. Divorces aren’t cheap…either financially or emotionally, for you or the kids. Also, remember, you’re not only marrying the man, you’re marrying into his family.

Your potential mate should treat you like gold, be happy to be around you and encourage and allow you to soar in whatever you want to do in your life. Once you find a man like that, you’ll know instantly that it was meant to be. If you have any doubts now, don’t fret. Kick that one to the curb and find another man who is what you’re looking for. Even though no man will be perfect, there are many fish in the sea, and one is bound to be closest to compliment your life.

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4 Responses to “Is Your Man Marriage Material?”
  1. WIFE2B Says:

    eXCELLENT ARTICLE WELL DONE

  2. Gina Says:

    thanks for all this wealth of information. It almost makes me wonder if anyone is meant for each other.Because nobody is perfect in all areas and do need work in some. Which to look past and which to say no? I guess it’s all a matter of belief and opinion. I hope one day I will find a relationship where we balance each other and support one another. I guess I would want to know is how do you find these things out by dating? How do you know if he will do certain things until the time comes?!

  3. Clara Says:

    You should be a expert !!! You hit everything on the money. Sometimes I look back at my past and say, I’m glad I didn’t date this guy for more than a year or got married to him

  4. Ray Says:

    I passed the list, know why is it women tell me I’m not marrage material in I pass everything on your list


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