How to Play a Player

August 7, 2008 by HM Weimar  
Published in Dating

Advice and tools about how to spot a player and how to play back written by someone with experience on both sides.

I could give you all kinds of statistics on how many people do what to whoever and all the numbers on how many people win and lose at love. But that is just it, you can not predict what is going to happen in any relationship based on numbers or someone else who may have been scorned. You need to figure out what is up with you and your significant other and not make yourself a statistic by reading others. I wanted to write this article about how to play a player because I used to get stuck in the numbers, books and tips and I used to spend all my energy listening to them instead of looking at what was really happening. Everyone is different and just because the person you want is acting a certain way does not mean they are falling into any category. All the information you find is just meant to help you take a look at what you are seeing and know you are not alone. Everyone has either been played or has played someone and they may not even know it.


Here’s the guidelines. The dictionary basically defines a player as someone who performs, could be sports, music or any other type of thing. I guess that is why we have now coined the phrase in relationships. When you have been played someone has performed for you and you have fallen into a game. That person has performed and made you feel like the star. When in reality they only wanted your attention for the time being and will let you loose when it’s over. This has nothing to do with who you are or how gullible you may be. This is their problem. Most players are looking for attention and you just happen to be there. So please, do not take it personally. I tell my friends, “there are empty people and full people. Empty people will fill their lives with as many people as possible so that they feel full and full people can stand alone and have other people because they enjoy them, not because they need them.” Players are empty people.

How can you spot a player? They always have a wingman, or woman, depending on their choice, the point is that they never stand alone. The only time you find a player standing alone is if they are out for revenge or if they aren’t really a player, they are a liar. The difference is that a player is out to pull people in and use them for what they can and a liar is someone who is unhappy with who they are and wants to be a player. Or I guess their could be psycho’s that look like either, but we can talk about that another time.

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6 Responses to “How to Play a Player”
  1. Sarah Says:

    Thanks for the tips. I was not sure if I was trying to date a player but with everything that I read, I see that I am. So, now the game is on. I have been doing what you suggested and I see that it is driving him crazy. He wants to control me so then behind the scenes he can have other women. I am not that way. I don’t share my man with anyone. He thinks he has won but soon he will see that he has lost the prize. ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Take care,

  2. reader1 Says:


  3. Deleane Says:

    HM, I like this guy I work with. Actually, he’s my manager, and he’s a player. He knows I like him and he uses me, at least I think so, and everyone has told me to leave him alone. A while back he said “I think I found my wife”, and of course, it isn’t me. I was totally taken aback and still am. Why would he tell me something like that and continue to flirt with me? He also signed up in a class with me at school. He is also my brother’s friend, because I (stupidly) introduced my brother to him to help him with his music. They are now good friends, at least I assume. I really want to get over him completely because I always put myself in these traps where I can’t be with a guy that I really like. How do I get back at him and/or is it even worth it? Please help!

  4. Deleane Says:

    Oh, and I forgot to add that he ALWAYS flirts with me. It’s really annoying now. I like it, guiltily, but it just pulls at the strings in my heart. I mean, he even asked me what club I was going to and ended up there! I have no idea what to do

  5. Anita Says:

    I’m not usually a player, but if I see that someone wants to play me and control me I become one :)

  6. HM Weimar Says:

    if for some reason I am not getting back fast enough you can email me directly at

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