How to Identify and Avoid The Serial Dater

Photo by CarbonNYC  http://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/2190458865/

They can be fun, charming, witty, and exciting.  These men are often the ones who have interesting careers and dynamic social lives.  Thousands of them can be found in the major cities all over the world.  They are on the lookout for beautiful or even smart, and fascinating women.  They are well versed about food, wine, travel, politics, and the arts—but marriage material? Doubt it.  Even though these men are fun to go out with, marriage or even a long-standing commitment is not in their schedule, despite their protestations otherwise. 

Janis Spindel, a famous New York matchmaker says, “I know several serial daters (and I do not fix them up with women), and they often say that they haven’t met the right woman yet, one who ‘shares their values.’ Hello!? If you can’t find a partner who shares your values in a great city that is filled to the brim with extraordinary women, excuse me, but there’s a problem.” 

Having been accustomed to their life alone, they are comfortable with their lifestyle and have set their ways enjoying the excitement of dating and sleeping with a lot of women.  If you just want to hone your dating skills, you may go out with one of these men, but never ever fall for one.  If you do, you are setting yourself up for a lot or heartaches. 

Signs of a Serial Dater

Janis Spindel recommends the following checklist.  If two or more of the following are true of your date, you may have a chronic problem on your hands.

1.         You met him on an internet dating site (these men think of the Internet as the depot of dating)

2.         He’s a professional, over forty, and has never been married.

3.         He claims that he plans to settle down and get married but the truths is he has not been in a committed relationship in over two years.

4.         The first few dates may be fantastic, but soon he simply stops calling without even a break-up notice.

5.         He’s charming but can never achieve psychological intimacy (although he has no problem getting you into bed with him).

6.         He loves to talk about his work above all other topics.  The reason behind this is that they are married to their jobs, which is why they aren’t married to a person).

7.         He knows the latest buzz on trendy bars and restaurants– often even before they are open (the serial dater is always more excited to be seen at hot spots than spending time with someone he could potentially share his life with).

8.         He prefers to spend his weekends alone or with male buddies and has no interest in seeing you.