How to Get Your Man to Behave This Christmas

Men don’t necessarily want to be restless at Christmas, they just are. There is so much to do, at such a tight schedule, involving so many different things, with several multi-tasking activities that men cannot help but tune right out!

Shopping is a nightmare since there is an abundance of things to look at, all crammed into noisy brightly-lit shops, full of stressed out people on impossible errands. This kind of environment is simply not for a person who can only do one thing at a time. Men panic as they listen to the screams inside their heads which insist, “Let me out! Help! I can”t breathe! I cannot think of what next to do! What do I do with my hands! Why’s my brain melted!

Christmas shopping has just the right combination to put the male brain into a criss-cross of lacerated veins of overdrive… overheat… stop!

Getting your presents

It’s unfair to leave him to sink or swim in a situation like this one mentioned above, but it’s still possible to get exactly what you want.

Tell him exactly what you want

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Help him out by telling him exactly what you want for Christmas. Granted this is not romantic, but it’s by far the only way to get your wish, rather than be faced with the beautifully store-wrapped size 2 skinny jeans on Christmas morning.

Better yet, tell him the names of your favourite haunts, and ask him to get vouchers from these stores for you, so you could have the pleasure of shopping and trying on the merchandise yourself. As part of this package, (in exchange for being told what to get) he either could go with you to carry your bags (without fussing), or take the kids, giving you a day out to do your shopping.

He could always throw in one surprise present along with the vouchers, but I suspect that you’d prefer a load of free spending from your favourite stores rather than unusable presents (which you can’t bring yourself to say you don’t like) carefully chosen by your loved one

Give him clues

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If telling him what you want is not your thing, you could always give him subtle clues. On the days coming up to Christmas Shopping, you could say something like, “Oh I must get a new black handbag after Christmas, my old one”s had its day.’ Or “I really could do with a facial.”

Or while watching television, find a reason during the perfume ad to tell him about this fantastic perfume you tried on in the store the other day, and how impressed you were by the scent.

Avoid the rows

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One of the most popular occasions for disagreements at Christmas is after the presents have been opened. The woman finds the toaster and it spoils her entire festive mood. To avoid this, get together and make a list of all the things you need for the home. Decide together which ones you’ll get at Christmas or at the end-of-year sale according to what your budget allows. This would dispense of any thoughts he may have had of buying you the new DVD recorder, etc. as you’ve both already taken the decision to buy it for the home.

Make a card list

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Men can’t seem to get around to sending cards. To avoid any friction, buy the cards yourself when you’re out and about doing the rest of the Christmas shopping. Sit together one evening to make a list of all the people to whom you both want to send cards. This list can be kept year after year, adding new friends as needed, so this only has to be done once. Beside every name, write their partners’ and children’s names, along with their addresses (you don’t want to be rummaging around different address books when you sit down to write your cards)

Choose an evening when you’re both in and divide the cards in two halves. Make a nice drink, put some biscuits on a plate, turn some music on and write the cards together. You’ll soon be chatting away and no one will notice the time passing.

The cards for overseas relatives and friends can be all posted at one go at the post office when one of you has the time. All the others can be dropped into the nearest letter box, as you could buy books of stamps and post them when it’s time to do so.

Make a television schedule

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If you both (or all the family) want to watch TV together, make up a schedule for TV viewing as soon as you’ve got the programme guide for the Christmas period. Each person should be able to have at least one of their choices on the list, with the others in the home understanding that they may have to forgo some of what they want to see, in favour of the family as a whole.

Assign him a specific task

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Tell him that you’ll wrap the presents if he would take care of the tree and the drinks for example. If he knows exactly what he has to do, he’ll be able to cope better and would be in a much more agreeable mood. As for wrapping your presents, suggest that if there’s anything big enough to wrap, he can either purchase them at a store which does free wrapping (almost all high street stores do that now) or he can buy decorative paper gift-bags to put them in.

Put back the fun into going out

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At Christmas, if travelling to a place you’ve never been to before, plan ahead by printing out the full directions from Google or the RAC maps. If you do get lost, don’t tell him to ask for directions, in a man’s mind this is weakness in the presence of his lady, just ask him to stop at the nearest garage for you to use the loo. By the time you’ve washed your hands, he would’ve magically “worked out” how to get there while making small talk with the shop-keeper.

Once you get there, remember that there’ll be lots of women dressed to the nines present, after all it’s Christmas. In the spirit of the holidays, why not make a deal before you leave home, that you’ll spend half the party with each other and the other half mingling. Of course you’ll leave together at a time agreed by you both. Planning it this way takes away the argument which invariably erupts later if one person felt left out or abandoned in some way.

What about the cooking

Ideally, the cooking should be shared by all the adults present. We alternate with the in-laws every Christmas to spend the holiday at each other’s house. But wherever we are, the four adults take the responsibility of different sections of the Christmas lunch so no one feels burdened by all the cooking. If your man feels that he would be better at cooking the vegetables, then you can plan to do the meat. My father-in-law is hopeless at cooking so he does all of the drinks and the washing-up. This way, everyone is involved and no one gets left with the entire responsibility of the meal. This makes for a very happy and satisfied house-hold once the meal is over because no one feels unduly tired, stressed-out, or hard-done-by.

If he’s not a confident cook, maybe he can take over the drinks, setting the table, or doing the clearing up later. Remember that perfection is not what you’re after. No two people can set or decorate the table exactly alike. The aim is to get him involved, and this would not happen if he’s made to feel inadequate, or useless. After all, if it were the other way around, would you do it again if told you’re hopeless?

Christmas planning and execution is traditionally a female thing, so men have learned ever since they were boys, to just sit and wait for it or wait it out. If as modern women we are to involve our grown men and indeed our young boys, we need to exercise our sensitive side and enable the shift as smoothly and as intelligently as possible.

Visit my blog The Relationship Supermarket for more relationship tips and advice.