How to Find a Lasting Happy Relationship with the Man of Your Dreams
July 31, 2008 by Anne Lyken Garner
Published in Dating
Help for thirty-plus women who have had a hard time dating. You may even be thinking of giving up trying because it seems that the right man you’re looking for has not yet been made. Sometimes it seems like every man you meet is a potential date and future partner, but then something, or everything goes wrong and you find with each disappointment, that your heart becomes increasingly more desperate to find that someone. Not any more!
(As an added bonus, there is also a list of various, useful online dating services at the end of this article).
As an added bonus, there is also a list of various, useful online dating services at the end of this article.
Here are some tips on how to first prepare before putting yourself back on the market, then help to go back out there and get your man when you’re fully ready.
We don’t need men. We want them.
I have to begin this particular article on dating and relationship by saying that as modern, independent, working women, we don’t need men, we want them.
We have our careers, our friends and family and fabulous, established, social lives. Most women in their thirties already have their own homes so when it comes to men in our lives, we’ve made the choice that we now want to share our lives with them. It’s perfectly fine to be on your own, but if you feel that the time has come for you to settle down, (but it’s been a hard job finding the right man with whom to do so), these tips should certainly help.
Find yourself before you set out to find a serious relationship.
If you have no idea of who you are, it will be difficult for a partner to know where he stands with you, (even if it’s just on-line dating). For if he doesn’t know who you are, how will he know how to love you?
The energy you spend becoming desperate is the energy that should be used to expand your horizons. Talk to five couples who have been together happily for more than ten years and ask them how they met and fell in love, I am sure you will find that not many of them were looking for someone at the time they found their soul mate. Love will find you, just hardly ever when you are looking for it.
When you’re on the look-out, you search in all the obvious places, places in which other people are busy looking themselves. If you do find someone in one of these places, it is likely to be someone who is already so desperate, that he is even willing to hide his true self in fear of not being accepted by the other judgemental “searchers”. Any relationship based on falsehood does not go the full mile. Instead of being a “searcher,” find and enrich yourself so that when you’re found, you’ll be a perfect catch.
Liked it
July 31st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
To all love seekers out there, this is a brilliant article, and stop trying so hard, pick up a magazine and it will tell you about Bill and Alice who met aged 80 etc…it isn’t a race or a test, it is love, no matter. No matter whether you have 5 or 50yrs together it will be decided and not by you…great article
July 31st, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Wonderful article. I’ve just recently picked up a fantastic book called “Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soulmate” by the founder of eHarmony Dr. Neil Clark Warren and it illuminates many of the same points. Great work Anne!
Best wishes.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
August 1st, 2008 at 1:38 am
your article is great. true love is not a race but rather something that is worth waiting for.
August 1st, 2008 at 5:18 am
Thanks for all your encouraging comments.
Ashley, all the advice I could give you is already in this article. The only additional thing I have to say is that you should be very careful about getting involved with someone who’s just recently divorced. He may need time to adjust to his new life and may still be reeling from the hurt, pain and anger. Give him time to heal and make sure that you’re not his rebound relationship.
In the time being, just be a supportive friend. He’ll appreciate that, and even if it doesn’t turn into love, you would’ve done something good for someone else.
August 2nd, 2008 at 6:45 am
Beautiful work, Anne..I like the part “we don’t need men, we want them” because it’s reality..
August 8th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
It’s about believing that people can make the wrong decisions and it has very little to do with you. Remember you are not a bad person because people change their minds about your relationship. In Fact they always do you the greatest favor, if your stop and think! Give me a Penny for your Thoughts! I’m thinking Penny. I’ve thought and thought it just makes sense to me. This is the greatest hour to be alive… Think Penny! You can win many. Do not let others agenda hinder your destiny…080808. Thanks for you article.
August 20th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I love this advice. You speak my language.