How to Date a Japanese Guy: Part One

July 9, 2009 by islandgirl  
Published in Dating

If you are interested in dating a man other than your own specifically to a Japanese man then this article is for you.

Modern Japanese men are very enticing though most of them cannot communicate in English language they are very fashionable and most of them are getting open and ready for diversity, mixed races that is. But warned you, most older men have racism in their minds. Japanese men aging 40 down are open for mixed races since those ages witness how Japan immigration are inviting foreigners to work in Japan to cover-up their low fertility rate. There are a  lot of foreigner workers in Japan working as English teachers, Engineers, Scientists, IT professionals, medical works apart from the traditional works of foreigners in the entertainment industry and factory works. Foreign workers are all over Japan with all ages and genders. Most young Japanese people aging 40 down are now very open to foreigners but not the late 40’s , 50’s and above. These age bracket (late 40’s and above) are prone to discriminating the foreigners. This is just a hint but of course it depends on your adventures in Japan.

Being with them for many years, I can say people are people but culture plays a big role in affecting the way people thing, act, speak, gestures and decision. Japanese men (I am talking to the young age bracket) are increasingly engaging in mixed-race relationship and marriage both men and women. More women are engaging in interracial relationship than men but this  year alone there are noticeably increasing numbers of Japanese men marrying with women outside their race.

Japanese men in general are gentlemen, good providers and workaholic. They are shy and have a different way and time to have fun with friends and families. Japanese men put business in order and rarely mix business with pleasure. They are particular with mistakes and perfectionalism. But they have emotional side that when you get to know more of them you’d know the secrets behind their hard personalities. Here’s great suggestions if you’re very interested in dating with Japanese guys:

a.)    They are not direct speakers, they express their feelings (hate, love, like, dislike) through actions, gestures and hints. Mostly they give you some little things like soap, fruits, sweets and often times smile or wanting to talk to you more in constant bases. Don’t mistake that with friendship as well. If you ask them, they would go out with you. If they want you for friendship they would just be around you and not go out with you.

b.)    Don’t confront them by phone or face to face because they are scared cats, you can ask them through letters, emails and texts and if you think that he’s telling you signs or words of liking then that’s a big starting point.

c.)    Japanese guys wants their women to be herself, don’t be awkward to be with. Be yourself, you can talk about anything but not confrontation, not gossiping. They like funny, adventurous, independent and enthusiastic girl. They are expected to be hard inside their works and having a funny girl that can bring them joy is worth more than ten thousand yens an hour. You get the point? Japanese men often go to gentlemen pubs and pay huge money just to have fun talks. If you are fun to talk to, it’s like a real treat for them.

Continue reading to this link: >>Please read How to date Japanese Guy Part 2

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13 Responses to “How to Date a Japanese Guy: Part One”
  1. D.J Says:

    I am going on a date with i Japanese guy and i’m very nervous about it . I don’t want to offend him in anything i do that day .When we first meet i was the one who let him know i was interested but I’m worried that he might look down on me because of it .Could you give me some advice

  2. islandgirl Says:

    I think the best advice I can give you is just go with the flow… they need time it’s like step by step procedure…they enjoy the company and good funny entertaining conversation… they are not really as touchy as other men…they’re actually simple but like other men they taste waters as well…. just let him make the move and if you think it’s going something deeper then you can ask what he thinks about the two of you…

  3. mei Says:

    what a troublesome bunch of people! no wonder these things are in a world of their own. why can’t they just be open about everything. I think even a dog is easier to read than these stupid whale hunting jappos.

  4. emi Says:

    Sorry about any english mistakes, im not a native speaker. Well im starting to date this japanese guy, he sound really interested in me, but he doesn’t speaks english and my japanese is intermediate. Im worried about the language difficulty, do you had the same problem? If so, do you have any advices for me? And by the way, I fell sorry for ignorant people like mei, Its better to shut up and let people think you are an idiot them speak something completely stupid and end everybodys doubt.

  5. islandgirl Says:

    Hi Emi, if you are in Japan you better study Nihongo. It’s for your own good too. Also, you can help him learn better English in this way your foundation can be better. Yes, I had a rough start with my Ryu-san in the first months. We have crickets at times ahaha…but with patience and commitment, we made it through. I can speak Japanese now at least better. I can’t say I’m fluent coz I still run to Japanese-English dictionaries but enough to communicate around the house. Don’t let it bother you.Just go on and have fun with him. He may have the same hesitations but if you are still dating, he might be tasting and testing…. so just move on and don’t give too much pressure to yourself.

  6. Laura Says:

    I am attracted to this Japanese colleague of mine. Do you think there’s a way for us to date or hook up? He’s quite shy, quiet and too reserved. i don’t know how to ever make him tick.

  7. islandgirl Says:

    Hi Laura, yes Japanese guys are usually like that..they can be quiet and very hard to know if they are interested or not. But amazing fact, they have some hidden tactics..you maybe surprise they know a lot about you in silence. Here’s a way though, you can formally introduce yourself if you see each other over the coffee machine… or occasional hi’s and hello’s…then let it be for days then slowly ask some interesting questions but easy to answer like… how’s his day, what’s his hobby, does he like traveling and simple questions like that… One question Laura, how is your fashion? Do you know that you can get more attention from these men if you are as fashionable as their local girls?

  8. Anyel inaba Says:

    Hello! I need your advice.. Im anyel

    From philippines.. Im a half filipina half japanese
    Im here at japan now. I stay for 3 months im not good in nihongo
    I met a guy at work he is a japanese. As time passes by i feel that i have crush on him and i can t help myself looking at him whenever he comes. I notice also that he is looking at me also. I dont know what is that mean but why we always like that looking each other everyday everytime we meet. Actually i dont know his name . One time he try to talk to me and i feel so happy at that time.. I heard that guy will get married next year :( what should i do? Should i stop liking him??

  9. Anny Says:

    Hi my name is Anny and I met this really cute japanese guy online and he is very shy and i am afraid that I might scared him away. So i was wondering if you could give me some on advice. So i have been talking to him for a while and he gave me his phone number and keeps telling me that he wants to hang out with me and also invited me on a date but i feel like I am being too direct with him. So what should i do? Is it okay if i tell him that I think he is handsome or is that too direct?

  10. islandgirl Says:

    To Anyel, since I wrote this article I was dating a Japanese guy for almost four years but now we separated because I have to follow my career in Singapore but we were still close friends. I thought we could get married but because I have to choose something that he cannot compromise, we decided to separate. Regarding your concern. Don’t ever go in between engaged or in a relationship Japanese guy. They do not want any confusion and they will not withdraw their engagement just for a short-lived relationship. If you hear he is getting married, just move on. There are more fishees in the sea.

  11. islandgirl Says:

    To Anyel, since I wrote this article I was dating a Japanese guy for almost four years but now we separated because I have to follow my career in Singapore but we were still close friends. I thought we could get married but because I have to choose something that he cannot compromise, we decided to separate. Regarding your concern. Don\’t ever go in between engaged or in a relationship Japanese guy. They do not want any confusion and they will not withdraw their engagement just for a short-lived relationship. If you hear he is getting married, just move on. There are more fishees in the sea.

  12. islandgirl Says:

    To Anny, if he gives you his number and wants to hang out with you – it’s already a good sign that he likes you and want to share something more. Just go on and be yourself.

  13. Ayu Says:

    Hello there~
    I’m from Singapore too! :D
    I wanna ask about dates—- like how does it work during dates?
    When you go out on a date with him, do you pay seperately or he will foot the bill for ya?
    Recently, I’m going out with a Japanese boy but I feel like I’m getting broke if I kept going out on dates with him >..<
    And also, how should I act during dates? ^^

    Thank you~(^ー^)ノ


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