First Date Communication

July 8, 2013 by Palm and Associates Matchmaking  
Published in Dating

Your date said what?? Orange County’s matchmaker, Kimberly, answers why good people say too much too soon.

Some questions are better asked (and answered) 
on the 5th or 6th date… NOT the 1st date.
A common mistake when dating is when people talk too much and reveal too much information – negative or positive – too soon. This term is commonly known as “TMI,”“Too Much Information”.
Have you experienced this on a date?
Have you done this?
When you share too much about yourself, too soon, you can scare someone off.Datersoften do this in the beginning stages of dating. Typically, they are trying to show that they are honest and open by revealing everything good and bad about their past and present… whether you want to hear it or not.
When dating, don’t be in a hurry to share your entire life story with your date. This can be a bad idea. Timing is everything. Details and negative things like your ex, who you voted for in the last election or your views on religion shouldn’t be discussed on a first or second date. Waiting until your 7th or 8th date would be better. Because once you’veconnected with a person, they are more equipped to handle what you’re sharing.
For example, let’s say you were going to buy a pre-owned car and the salesperson you meet with begins by telling you all the negative things about the car first and your antenna goes up. Why? Because you’re hearing negative information before you’ve even decided whether or not you like the car. Once again, timing is everything. Once you’ve decided that you like the car the negatives won’t be such a big deal because you’re already aware of the positives.
This same logic applies to dating.  So remember: be positive and share your positive side. Save any negatives for later. Share how great you and your life are, be upbeat and positive.
If you do find yourself sharing too much or saying something you feel you shouldn’t have, don’t ignore it. Instead, follow it up with a cute line like, “Can we rewind that?” or, “Did I just say that?”
Keep in mind that you may be asked a question on a topic that you don’t want to discuss (like past relationships, religion, etc.) it’s best to avoid the nitty-gritty story and negative details. Answer the question vaguely, positively and sum it up in one or two sentences. Then say, “I’d really like to know more about you tonight…” and follow it up with a question like, “Where’s the best place you’ve ever traveled?” or, “Did you play any sports in High School?” It’s best to avoid the trap of giving a long winded, highly detailed answer.
“Listen twice as much as you talk.” Kimberly, Orange County’s Matchmaker
 Palm & Associates Matchmaking, Orange County’s Premier Matchmaking Agency

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