Fifteen Signs That Your Blind Date is a Disaster

January 4, 2009 by Steven West  
Published in Dating

This is a very funny list of signs that your blind date is an unmitigated disaster.

Your best friend has set you up with a blind date. Sounds great? What if the blind date turns out to be a real loser? Here are fifteen signs that your blind date is a disaster:

  1. Your date takes you to a fancy French restaurant and orders French toast with French fries
  2. Your date starts playing a song with his armpits
  3. Your date tells you that he has some unspecified disease that he cannot pronounce
  4. Your date tells you that he has watched every Star Trek show and then talks about each episode. You hate Star Trek.
  5. Your date starts nibbling on your ear while chewing bubble gum
  6. Your date shows you his tattoo of his ex-girlfriend
  7. Your date starts smoking a cheap, smelly cigar. You hate the smell of cigars.
  8. Your date asks you if you would like to see his rash. He also wants to show you a large pimple on his back.
  9. Your date has breath so bad that it would kill an elephant. He also appears that he hasn’t taken a shower in over a week.
  10. Your date tells you that George W. Bush is a great President. He speaks glowingly of the Republican Party. You are a Democrat and you cannot stand George W. Bush.
  11. Your date tells you that Robin Williams is his hero. He then tries to do one hundred imitations of famous celebrities. He does them all badly.
  12. Your date talks about all his loses in the stock market. He moans and groans for hours. He then asks if you can pick up the tab for the dinner.
  13. Your date eats a whole package of Oreo cookies in front of you. He then shows off his blackened teeth. He follows this up by downing a two-liter bottle of Pepsi. After burping half a dozen times, he takes you out to the Last Ditch Diner.
  14. Your date takes you to the amusement park. He gets sick on the Merry Go Round. He complains that if he goes up on high rides he will puke his guts out. He asks if you would like a bite of his cotton candy. He clings to you when he sees a roller coaster. Finally, he gets really upset when he is told that he is too old to go on the Ducky boat ride.
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