Don’t Waste Your Time: Signs Your "Relationship" Isnt Going Anywhere

March 8, 2011 by Cynthia Borden  
Published in Dating

An article about relationships and relationship advice.

I’d love to write an article that HE would read. I want him to know how horrible it feels to invest 3, 4, or 5 months (maybe more) into a relationship and then wake up to the fact that only one of you is in a relationship; and if there’s only one person in the relationship then it’s not a relationship.

It’s happened countless times, and you always convince yourself that it’s all his fault. He lied and misrepresented himself and wasted YOUR time, but really when you think about it, you’ve known for months that he wasn’t really that into it. He wasn’t going out of his way to do all the little things that someone does when they want to be in a relationship. You did though, and that’s why now it hurts so much. That’s why now you’re so angry. You took him lunch, you ran those little errands that he would forget, and you settled for the small amount of time he was willing to spend with you.

We all do it. Maybe the first few weeks he was a dream, so when he stopped calling as often or taking you out, you went along with it. You listened to the excuses. You believed every one, even though deep down you didn’t. We do it because we don’t want to be alone; or we do it because if he would commit to you, you know how great he would be because you saw the potential in the beginning when he was being the man of your dreams.

But in case you want to pretend like you don’t know or didn’t see the signs, here are a few things that you should look for in your “relationship.” Here are your signs that it’s not turning into anything:

-He’s not calling you. If a guy wants to be with you, then he’s going to go out of his way to have constant contact with you. He’ll avoid the temptation to take the easy way out by texting, because he wants to hear YOUR VOICE. He will pick up the phone and ask you how you’re doing.

-He’s not seeing you. Well, yeah, you might think this one is a given, but there are guys out there though that will settle for a one-a-week view; and in the first few weeks or even the first month of dating it is okay to see your partner once or twice a week, but once you enter “exclusive” status your now boyfriend should be in your company 3-4 times a week. There aren’t a lot of exceptions to this, unless you’re long distance or there’s some other obstruction, like work or children. If you live less than an hour away from each other and you both have days off work, there’s no excuse for him not to stop by your house or meet you somewhere for lunch. If he’s really into you, he will be around you. If you feel like you’re not spending enough time together, then you probably aren’t. And as bad as we’d like to admit it, maybe he’s not spending that much time around because he’s not really investing anything into this relationship. He’s probably ready to end it, but doesn’t know how to say so.

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