Does He Deserve You?

May 29, 2007 by Cassandra George Sturges, Psy.D  
Published in Dating

Take this quiz to determine if your man deserves you. This test will only validate what you are already thinking.

Maybe your man loves you, but remembers when taking this test love is not the issue. You probably would love a million dollars, Denzel Washington and a flatter tummy but it doesn’t mean that you deserve these things. Because who are you kidding, when was the last time you put forth the effort to do a single sit-up. You probably love the best life has to offer but when you look at the effort that you have put forth to obtain the best, something is missing; maybe Lauren Hill stole your song or your number didn’t fall in the lottery.

But the truth is most of us know deep within our hearts when we are not getting what we deserve. This is when we start sending out resumes to search for a new job or buy a new product because the old one no longer meets our expectations. Yes, yes you might have loved many things but when you felt that you were not being compensated for what you felt you are worth, you moved on.

Does your man meet your emotional and physical needs? How many times have you told him what you wanted, but he gave you what he wanted you to have? Are men telling you, “You can do better or Tell your man that his is one lucky man” and insist that you take their number? Do you make financial sacrifices to be with your man?
When you talk about problems in your relationship to others do they turn a deaf ear and coldly state for the 100th time “So when are you going to leave him?”

Take this quiz to determine if your man deserves you. This test will only validate what you are already thinking; very few ladies will take this test and learn what they didn’t already know. Good luck!

1. If you broke up with him today what could he easily be replaced with?

  1. $50.00 or any amount of money.
  2. A vibrator or romance novel.
  3. A good therapist because without him you feel incomplete.

2. When you do not see him for a few days how do you feel?

  1. Your headache or stomach ache goes away miraculously.
  2. You notice that there is less work to do around the house.
  3. You snap at family and friends because your body and soul craves him.

3. He knows that you are experiencing financial difficulty because you are between jobs.
He:

  1. Brags about his new expensive car, golf clubs or CD player.
  2. Offers his assistance only after a lecture about how he won’t help you again.
  3. Tells you what his expenses are, but offers to help you as much as he can.

4. After sex with him, you:

  1. What sex? You can’t recall the last time you were intimate.
  2. Can’t wait for him to go to sleep — to finish the job yourself.
  3. Your body automatically curls up next to him. You feel like the luckiest girl
  4. in the world.

5. When you are around his friends they typically:

  1. Comment on how attractive other women are in your presence.
  2. Wink their eye and lick their lips when your man is not looking.
  3. Ask you if you have any single friends.

6. Generally speaking when it comes your relationship with your man, your family feels:

  1. You will wake up and come to your senses.
  2. Uninterested, they matter-of-factly suggest that you keep dating.
  3. They can’t wait to plan your wedding.

7. When you are out on the town together people typically comment how:

  1. They tell him how lucky he is and question how the two of you met.
  2. The two of you look like brother and sister and mistakenly try to fix you up
    with others at the event.
  3. The two of you make such a handsome, lovely couple.

8. When you discuss your relationship with your girlfriends. They:

  1. Tell you that you can do much better than him.
  2. Ask what happened to your old boyfriend, “whats-his-name”.
  3. Tell you how lucky you are and that you should clean up your act before you
    lose him.

9. When other men ask you out, you think about:

  1. How much it would cost to move your man things.
  2. What if your man finds out.
  3. The audacity of him to even think that he can fill your man shoes.

10. Your man has been verbally and/or physically abusive:

  1. Fairly often. But promises to change and you believe him.
  2. Once, but the issue was resolved immediately.
  3. Never. You argue like any couple but you can not imagine him ever hurting
    or degrading you.

Scoring

For each “a” give yourself 0 points; for each “b” answer give yourself 1 point; for each “c” answer give yourself 2 points. Add your score and the category that best fits your relationship.

7 points or less:

He doesn’t deserve you!

We get what we expect in life not what we deserve. Maybe he is not a bad person but you feel that you need more in a relationship. Don’t ever let any person or test coerce you into leaving your relationship. Take an inventory of your relationship and make sure that the assets and the liabilities balance out. Are you as nurturing as you once were? Did you let your appearance go?

Look at yourself honestly and completely and make a commitment to do your best to reserve your relationship. Then go to your man and tell him that you feel that you both deserve the best and see if he would be willing to also make some changes to improve your relationship. If he is not willing to make changes to enhance your relationship, do not blame him. Look within your own heart and soul and do what is necessary to attract the type of man that you feel that you deserve.

8-15 points:

You can do better, but for now he will do…

Some relationships are transitional, they help us during a divorce, relieve sexual tension after a long drought and provide financial support. To say it simply: He is not the one. Your family can see it, your friends can see it, and to be honest with yourself you know it. This is probably why people are sublimely offering to fix you up with others because they can see that the magic is missing in the relationship.

He is the type of man that is not worth breaking up with because the relationship will gradually fade out of your life the way it some how appeared in your life in the first place. You know that the relationship is leading absolutely no where but you are only along for the ride until you can figure out where you want to go. For now this is okay, but listen to your heart and don’t spend the best years of your life with a man who is a temporary solution that turns into a permanent mistake.

16 + points:

Make sure you are doing enough to keep him!


Yes, he is the one. Men like this are hard to come by. Sometimes we blow a good thing because we are not emotionally ready to accept some one who truly loves and accepts us unconditionally into our lives. It’s not enough to seek a man that we think deserve us, it is essential that we make sure that we possess the qualities that a man who is totally together would seek in a woman. Don’t lose yourself in the relationship, just make sure that he finds as much joy in the relationship as you do. You are one lucky woman.

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